D’oh! 110 Funniest Simpsons Puns Ever

The Simpsons has given us countless moments of laughter, wit, and timeless humor. For over three decades, this animated sitcom has brought joy to millions with its absurd adventures and memorable characters.

Whether it’s Homer’s iconic “D’oh!” or Bart’s mischievous antics, the show is a goldmine of puns and wordplay.

Did you know that the phrase “D’oh!” is so influential that it was added to the Oxford English Dictionary? Now, let’s dive into the funniest Simpsons puns ever—this list is sure to tickle your funny bone and maybe even inspire you to quote some of these gems at your next party!

Homer-ic Epics

Quirky quips from the family patriarch.

1. “Why don’t you make like a tree and get out of here.”
2. “Trying is the first step towards failure.”
3. “Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!”
4. “Operator! Give me the number for 911!”
5. “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”
6. “I’m not a bad guy! I work hard and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to Hell?”
7. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”
8. “I can’t live the button-down life like you. I want it all! The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles!”
9. “Oh, so they have internet on computers now!”
10. “I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.”

Bart-ful Banter

Bart’s pranks and rebellious the Simpsons puns.

11. “Eat my shorts!”
12. “I didn’t do it! Nobody saw me do it! You can’t prove anything!”
13. “Don’t have a cow, man.”
14. “I didn’t lie! I was writing fiction with my mouth.”
15. “I’m Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?”
16. “Cowabunga dude!”
17. “Can’t sleep. Clown will eat me.”
18. “My homework ate my dog.”
19. “Nobody ever suspects the butterfly.”
20. “I’m going to live forever, or die trying!”

Lisa-isms

Witty and wisecracking lines from the smartest Simpson.

21. “I’m familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.”
22. “Last night’s Itchy & Scratchy was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever.”
23. “I know those words, but that sentence makes no sense.”
24. “Just because I’m wearing a towel doesn’t mean it’s a come-on.”
25. “Remember Dad, all glory is fleeting.”
26. “It’s times like these that I’m ashamed to be part of humanity.”
27. “The second amendment is just a remnant from revolutionary days. It has no meaning today.”
28. “I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell!”
29. “Mom! Make Dad tell the story right!”
30. “I never practiced, I was just naturally good.”

Marge Moments

Marge’s surprisingly sharp sense of humor.

31. “I don’t think that’s a very good idea.”
32. “Homer, is this how you pictured married life?”
33. “Bart! You’re no longer in Saturday detention.”
34. “Well, I know it’s asking a lot, but if you could just do the things I tell you, until I say it’s OK to stop.”
35. “Why do I always have to be the responsible one?”
36. “Homer, you have to be the responsible one.”
37. “I might be crazy. But I’m not going to ignore your calls!”
38. “I just think our family is being torn apart by an institution we talk about all through dinner and today in church.”
39. “I’ve dug myself into a happy little rut here and I’m not ready to leave!”
40. “Are you sure it’s a weapon?”

Springfield Speaks

Classic lines from the beloved residents of Springfield.

41. Moe: “Call me a ‘cold-hearted, cynical jerk,’ but I’m not giving you any free beer.”
42. Mr. Burns: “Excellent.”
43. Flanders: “Hi-diddly-ho, neighborino!”
44. Principal Skinner: “SKIN-NERRRR!”
45. Comic Book Guy: “Worst. Episode. Ever.”
46. Chief Wiggum: “Bake ‘em away, toys.”
47. Milhouse: “Everything’s coming up Milhouse!”
48. Sideshow Bob: “You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever. And when they get in, I’m back on the streets with all my criminal buddies!”
49. Krusty: “I’m a shoo-in. Showbiz people are the most trustworthy people in the world!”
50. Nelson: “Ha-ha!”

Burns & Smithers Duo

The dynamic and often hilarious antics of Mr. Burns and Smithers.

51. Mr. Burns: “Release the hounds.”
52. Smithers: “I think women and seamen don’t mix.”
53. Mr. Burns: “Smithers, there’s no such thing as a soul. It’s just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.”
54. Smithers: “I love your respect for hiring cruelty.”
55. Mr. Burns: “Smithers, who is that half-naked lunatic?”
56. Smithers: “I’ll have a manicure!”
57. Mr. Burns: “A pox on you, stop throwing that!”
58. Smithers: “I’d rather die than daydream!”
59. Mr. Burns: “Smithers, unload the union leader.”
60. Mr. Burns: “Smithers, I’m sorry, you were a good employee.”

Apu’s Apu-logies

Pun-tastic quips from the Kwik-E-Mart owner.

61. “Thank you, come again!”
62. “Yes, once again I am beyond the laws of physics.”
63. “I’m a small business owner, hardworking father and a conservative enforcement bill repealer.”
64. “A hundred tacos for $100, that’s just sensible.”
65. “Ooh, time to restock.”
66. “Try our new Squishee flavors!”
67. “Am I really that temporary?”
68. “I’m tired of your unfair labor practices!”
69. “More fresh loaf recipes!”
70. “I’m getting the band back together!”

Krusty Kracks

Hilarious quips from everyone’s favorite clown.

71. “Hey hey kids!”
72. “I don’t get paid to write!”
73. “Today’s secret word, artificial friends!”
74. “I prefer to remain an enigma.”
75. “I have too much dignity to let them turn this into a total farce.”
76. “Hi, I’m in desperate need of cash!”
77. “My show’s about to start—time for a smoke!”
78. “I’m a figurehead, nothing more.”
79. “I want a calendar that shows the sunset every day!”
80. “My opening line—I need a shower!”

Milhouse Mayhem

Playful puns from Bart’s best friend.

81. “Everything’s coming up Milhouse!”
82. “Remember Alf? He’s back, in pog form!”
83. “How could this happen? We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.”
84. “My glasses! The prescription says do not lay flat!”
85. “I can’t believe it! I’ve been diapered!”
86. “What is this place? Some kind of temple?”
87. “Bart, I’m selling my soul!”
88. “My ears mean business!”
89. “I’m only 10!”
90. “Every moment of my life is agony.”

The Wise Quacks of Hans Moleman

Hans Moleman’s short but brilliant the Simpsons puns.

91. “Hans Moleman Productions presents: Man Getting Hit by Football.”
92. “I was saying boo-urns.”
93. “Football in the groin has a football in the groin.”
94. “Hello, today is day 1001 in the hole.”
95. “You took four minutes of my life and I want them back!”
96. “I was mayor once!”
97. “Hans Moleman is the boy who lived down the street from me.”
98. “Hans Moleman: ‘We were… married, remember?'”
99. “The geriatric comedy hour! Cut it out.”
100. “This is a true story.”

Springfield Silliness

More laugh-out-loud moments from the characters of Springfield.

101. Ralph: “Me fail English? That’s unpossible.”
102. Dr. Nick: “Hi everybody!”
103. Jasper: “That’s a paddlin’.”
104. Reverend Lovejoy: “Ned, have you thought about one of the other major religions? They’re all pretty much the same.”
105. Superintendent Chalmers: “Aurora Borealis? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?”
106. Lenny: “Please don’t tell anyone how I live.”
107. Carl: “You’re pretty drunk, Mr. B.”
108. Professor Frink: “Glavin!”
109. Sea Captain: “Yarr, ’tis true.”
110. Gil: “Oh, come on, Gil, you gotta ask yourself: what would Jesus do?”

D’oh-mazing! Keep Sharing the Laughter

That’s a wrap on the funniest Simpsons puns! We hope you enjoyed a hearty laugh and felt a bit of Springfield magic in your day.

Do you have a favorite pun or a memorable Simpsons quote? Share it with us, and don’t forget to bookmark our site for more humorous content. Spread the joy—share this article with your friends and family! Keep smiling, keep laughing, and always say, “D’oh!”