100 Hilarious Ice-Cold NHL Puns for Hockey Fans: Score Big Laughs!

Ice hockey is jam-packed with thrills and chilly spills. But beyond the slapshots, breakaways, and hat tricks lies a great wellspring of humor just waiting to be tapped. Who knew that the icy arena could be such a hotbed for laughs?

A fun fact to break the ice: Did you know that the first indoor hockey game was played in Montreal? With such a cool origin story, it’s no wonder that hockey lends itself to some frosty humor. Now, let’s lace up our skates and dive into a world where the puns flow as freely as the players on the ice.

Punny Plays on Words

Who knew wordplay had excellent aim?

1. Why do hockey players make great astronauts? They’re always aiming for the stars.
2. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? Puck rock.
3. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his goalie checked.
4. How do hockey players stay cool? They still play in the rink.
5. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? To tie up the score.
6. What’s a hockey player’s favorite drink? Penalty shots.
7. Why are hockey players such great friends? They always stick together.
8. Why don’t hockey players tell jokes on the ice? Because the ice cracks up.
9. How does a hockey player like his eggs? Hat trick-tatouille.
10. What does a hockey player do when he becomes a comedian? Slay the punchline.

Skating Towards Laughs

These puns will make you do a double axel in your seat.

11. Why was the hockey player a great musician? He had perfect pitch.
12. Why did the ice rink get any more visitors? It was an amateur night.
13. What’s a hockey player’s favorite dessert? Ice cream.
14. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? Because it was two-tired to skate.
15. How do hockey players stay in shape? Ice-olation.
16. What’s a hockey player’s favorite part of a computer? The disk drive.
17. Why did the hockey players visit the library? For the periodicals.
18. What did the ice rink say to the Zamboni? “Thanks, I needed a smooth-talking friend!”
19. Why did the hockey team go to the bakery? To get a couple of turnovers.
20. Why don’t hockey players ever get lost? They always follow their goal.

Stick-Handling Wit Meant for You

Serving up punchlines on a power play.

21. How do hockey players kiss? They pucker up.
22. Why was the hockey player’s date so cold? Because she was a real ice queen.
23. Where do hockey players find the most books? In the penalty box of course!
24. What’s a hockey player’s favorite picnic dish? Slap-shot potato salad.
25. How are hockey players like goldfish? They both swim upstream.
26. What did the hockey player say after losing his skate? “I’m de-feeted.”
27. What does a hockey player dream about? Breaking the ice.
28. Why won’t hockey players play hide and seek? They’ve always been known to give away pucks.
29. How did the hockey team cool down after a game? With rink after rink of water.
30. What’s a hockey player’s favorite soft drink? Coca-Cola in a can-a-day.

Penalty Box Punchlines

Time to serve some seriously funny time.

31. Why did the NHL player visit the doctor? He had a bad case of stick-hitis.
32. What’s a goalie’s favorite type of pants? Goal-den slacks.
33. Why did the hockey player get into show business? He wanted to do some slap-stick comedy.
34. How does a hockey player propose? By putting a ring on her glove.
35. Why did the hockey player go to school? To learn how to defen-dazzle.
36. What’s a hockey player’s favorite workout? Cross-stick training.
37. Why don’t hockey players use elevators? They can stick-handle the stairs.
38. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder? To top-shelf the cookies.
39. How do you stop a hockey player from hitting the net? Put a tax-a-puck.
40. What’s a hockey player’s favorite pet? A slap-shot-riever.

Final Period Fun

Let’s end this game on a high-scoring note of humor.

41. Why did the hockey player go to church? To ice the deal.
42. What did the penalty box say to the goalie? “You’re just saving grace.”
43. How do you know a hockey player is in your neighborhood? You can hear the puck-rock music.
44. Why was the hockey player a good detective? Because he always followed the ice clusions.
45. What’s a hockey player’s favorite clothing line? Schuss Box.
46. How does a hockey player make friends? On-ice breaker.
47. Why was the hockey game so long? They went into over-rhyme.
48. What did Cinderella become when she got in the hockey ring? She became a hat trick-heroine.
49. What’s a hockey player’s favorite vitamin? Vitamin ice.
50. Why did the puck cross the road? To get to the other right wing.
51. Why do hockey players wear armor? To always be de-fence-ive.
52. What’s the goalkeeper’s motto? Save it for a rainy day.
53. Why was the skating rink so noisy? Everyone brought knives.
54. Why was there a snowstorm at the hockey rink? Someone threw salt in the game.
55. What’s a hockey player’s favorite instrument? A goal-tar.
56. Why did the hockey fan take up beekeeping? Because he wanted to buzz like a bee-line.
57. How do you know a hockey player is having a bad day? Because they’re always on ice.
58. What’s the referee’s favorite drink? Time-out tea.
59. Why don’t hockey players ever grow old? Because they spend too much time icing their cakes.
60. How do hockey teams create chemistry? By mixing stick-9 explosive mixtures.
61. What’s a hockey player’s favorite holiday? Skate-Patricks Day.
62. What’s a goalie’s pet peeve? Offensive driving.
63. Why do birds like hockey? Because they’re all about the wing play.
64. Why did the hockey player start gardening? He wanted to grow more stick-leaf vegetables.
65. What does a hockey coach eat for breakfast? Puck-wheat pancakes.
66. What’s the favorite letter for a hockey player? P for puck, of course.
67. Why do hockey players like cold places? They can keep their cool under pressure.
68. Want to be a comedian? Learn to play hockey, because you’ll keep your audience on ice.
69. What did the hockey player say to his girlfriend? “You’re my Zambonie and only.”
70. Why was the hockey player afraid of the library? Too many penalty books.
71. What’s a hockey player’s favorite season? Win-ter.
72. Why did the hockey player visit the art gallery? To see the ice-sculptures.
73. How do hockey players solve disputes? With a puck-lament.
74. Why did the hockey player get promoted? He had a goal-oriented mindset.
75. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of weather? Slap-shower.
76. Why do hockey players make terrible secret agents? They always give away the puck.
77. What did the hockey player say to the comedian? “I can’t stop, I’m on a roll!”
78. How do hockey players keep their socks up? With slap-stick glue.
79. Why was the hockey player always calm? He could ice the situation.
80. What’s a hockey player’s favorite dessert? Hat-trick cookies.
81. Why did the hockey player write a book? To share his slap-stick stories.
82. What did the hockey player say after a great game? “That was a stick-tacular performance!”
83. Why do hockey players love camping? Because they can pitch tents on ice.
84. What’s a hockey player’s favorite fairy tale? Goldilocks and the Three Penalty Boxes.
85. Why was the hockey player always punctual? He never wanted to miss a goal.
86. How do hockey players celebrate a win? With a rink of drinks.
87. What’s a hockey player’s favorite candy? Ice-breakers.
88. Why did the hockey player become an electrician? He loved power plays.
89. What did the hockey player say to his mirror? “You’re my biggest fan!”
90. Why do hockey players make great actors? They can handle all the high-stakes drama.
91. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of pants? Slap-shorts.
92. How do you make a hockey player smile? Show them a hat-trick video.
93. Why did the hockey player go to the party? To break the ice.
94. What’s a hockey player’s favorite mode of transport? The slap-sled.
95. Why did the hockey player visit the zoo? To see the ice bear.
96. What did the hockey player say to his friend? “I’m puck-ing you for my team.”
97. Why do hockey players love horror movies? Because they’re full of ice screams.
98. How do hockey players stay warm? With slap-stick firewood.
99. Why did the hockey player get a dog? To have a loyal slap-pet.

Stick Around with Ice Cold Puns

There you have it – an amazing lineup of NHL puns sure to keep your sides splitting and your friends laughing. Ice hockey is not just an adrenaline-pumping sport; it’s a great source for some seriously ‘cool’ humor. If you had as much fun reading these as we did putting them together, why not share the laughs?

Bookmark our site for more entertaining NHL puns and jokes, and be sure to share these chilly chuckles with your friends. Red card or not, these puns are sure to score big!