119 Emergency Jokes for When You Need a Quick Laugh

Did you know? The world’s oldest known emergency whistle dates back to 3,300 BC and was made from the wing bone of a vulture!

Need a laugh in a pinch? This collection of emergency jokes is your ultimate go-to for lightening the mood in any stressful situation.

Below is a selection of guaranteed giggles, neatly categorized to tickle your funny bone. These jokes will have you laughing out loud, sharing with friends, and maybe even bookmarking for future frantic moments!

When You Need a Joke as Hot as a Fireman’s Hose

Fire up your laughter with jokes that are burning hot and perfect for emergency situations!

1. Why did the scarecrow call the fire department? He was in a field of flames!
2. How do firemen party in an emergency? They break out the hose and “splash” dance!
3. What do you get when you cross a fireman with a rubber band? An elastic firefighter!
4. Why did the cat call 911? It was stuck in a tree-tastrophe!
5. What do firemen do when they’re bored? They play “hose-pital” games!
6. Why did the firefighter wear red suspenders? To keep his pants up in an emergency!
7. What’s a fireman’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal…but only when off duty!
8. Why don’t firefighters tell jokes when they’re battling blazes? Because they might crack up!
9. How do you put out a musical fire? With a fire exit-plan-oh!
10. What’s a fireman’s favorite word? “Exting-wish”—a life filled with granted wishes!

Dispatch These Laughs ASAP

These jokes will have you rolling like an ambulance in no time!

11. Why did the ambulance get a ticket? It couldn’t STOP laughing!
12. How does a paramedic relax? With some serious comedi-care!
13. Why didn’t the EMT play cards? Because he always got the jokers first!
14. What’s an ambulance’s favorite movie? “Rush Hour!”
15. Why did the paramedic sit at the computer? To see the critical “condition” of emails!
16. How does a paramedic stay cool? They always keep their “temperature” down!
17. What’s a paramedic’s least favorite musical note? B-flatline!
18. Why did the paramedic bring a ladder to the emergency? Because the situation was escalating!
19. How do ambulance drivers party? They “sirens” all night!
20. What did the EMT say to the choking guitarist? “Breath-lessly, keep strum-min’!”

Having a Police Laugh Moment

Nothing defuses a situation better than a police joke in the lineup!

21. Why did the police officer arrest the musician? He was caught playing “mis-demeanor!”
22. How did the cop break up the fight at the music store? With “a-rest”!
23. Why do cops love donuts? Because they always solve their “case-dough!”
24. How does a detective stay in shape? Running down suspects and biting humor!
25. What do police chefs cook? “Gumshoe”-y cuisine!
26. Why did the officer bring a ladder to the bar? To bust a “high”-crime!
27. Why didn’t the bicycle go to the stand-up show? It didn’t want to get “tired”!
28. How do cops stay fit? Chasing “sus-puns!”
29. What’s the police’s favorite type of fish? Cod of Conduct!
30. Why did the policeman bring string? To “tie” up some laughter!

Life-Saving Humor

Get a dose of hilarity that could just save your sense of humor!

31. Why did the lifeguard sit in the campfire circle? To learn better “rescue-ming” by the fire!
32. What do you call a swimmer who tells jokes? A float-tickler!
33. How do you save someone from a boring speech? Call a life-‘raft!’
34. Why was the swimmer grounded? For ‘dryland’ swimming!
35. What do lifeguards dye their shirts with? Swim-ming ink!
36. Why did the drowning computer scream? It needed a byte of help!
37. What’s a life jacket’s favorite treat? Float-ie cake!
38. Why did the inflatable run away? It couldn’t bear the “pump”!
39. How did the deep sea diver get recognized? For his “ocean-ic” comedies!
40. Why do beach-goers love the sea? Because it tides them over with humor!

Emergency Room Hilarity

Stat! You’re in need of these emergency room jokes STAT!

41. Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case of an “emergency” correction!
42. What’s a surgeon’s favorite game? Operation—with real sensors!
43. Why did the ER nurse blush? She saw the heart “racer!”
44. How do you tell a broken bone joke? Very ‘humerus’ly!
45. Why don’t doctors tell scary stories? Too many “critical” reviews!
46. What do ER doctors use to file taxes? The tax-tour!
47. Why do surgeons get Christmas discounts? Because they always “scrub” up nice!
48. Why did the patient visit a comedy club? They needed a ‘stat’ dose of laughter!
49. What did the X-ray tech say to the comedian? “I see right through you!”
50. Why did the doctor write notes in a library book? Because it was ‘hardcover’!
51. What’s an ER doctor’s favorite sandwich? A “Heal”-an sandwich!
52. How does a hospital computer stay healthy? Virus protection and “med-ware”!
53. Why did the patient sit on the lamp? They wanted a light-hearted conversation!
54. What’s an ER nurse’s favorite type of movie? Medical thrillers with a “pulse”!
55. Why did the patient bring gags to the hospital? To ease the ‘gag-nostic’ procedures!
56. Why did the thermometer win the argument? It had undeniable proof!
57. What do you call an ER with a great sense of humor? A ‘healer-ious’ hospital!
58. Why do medical pros love keyboards? For their ‘ctrl’ over typing in ‘critical’ details!
59. Why did the bandage feel left out? He wasn’t “stuck” in for the jokes!
60. How do nurses optimize their schedules? With ‘pun’-ked inspiration!

Emergency Exit: Hilarious Detour Ahead

Close up those emergency exits, because these jokes are flying in fast!

61. What’s a helicopter’s favorite joke? Anything that “lifts” the mood!
62. Why did the pilot sit on the broken airplane? To take off jokes from the strain!
63. How do you comfort a panicking jet? By telling it to “plane” its nerves!
64. Why did the emergency exit become a comedian? It had to go with the “flue”!
65. What’s a firefighter’s favorite game on a plane? Hose and ladder dash!
66. Why don’t pilots play hide and seek? They always announce they’re “taking off”!
67. How does a jet make friends? By being absolutely “plane” and approachable!
68. What do you call a humorous map? A “pun-direction” planner!
69. Why was the airplane at the comedy show? For a great “land” of laughs!
70. How does a jet handle a huge emergency laugh? With an emergency “run-way” of jokes!
71. What’s an air traffic controller’s favorite hobby? A land-mail full of puns!
72. How do you describe a pilot with a sense of humor? Plane magnetic personality!
73. Why did the airport security become a breakdancer? For smooth moves in “baggage”!
74. How do you serve air humor at a feast? With “air-crafts” and laughs!
75. What’s the first thing a steward does when boarding? Check “cabin” for puns!
76. What’s the air hostess’ most used phrase? “Jet, going for laughs!”
77. How does a jet wash up laughs? By “up-wash” waves of comedy!
78. Why was the airport’s restaurant so popular? It served comedy “take-offs!”
79. How did the passenger pack humor? By “carry-on” the laughs!
80. Why did the plane not laugh at the joke? It was too plain to notice!
81. What’s the emergency light’s favorite plan? A “lit-up” for laughs!
82. How do jets make troublemakers polite? With “up-lifting” messages!
83. Why did the stewardess blush at takeoff? It was a “sky-ming” moment!
84. What’s the pilot’s favorite reading material? “Air-lift” magazine!
85. Why did the crash dummy become the joke? It had to be “strapped” into humor!
86. How did the airplane explain delays? With a “takeoff”-fense of humor!
87. Why did planes never argue? They always look for “flight” responses!
88. What’s an emergency’s favorite movie? Any hilarious “land”-mark flick!
89. How do you laugh in flight? High-altitude humor does the trick!
90. What’s a flight attendant’s punchline? Endless happy “land”-ings!

Extra Punchlines for Emergency Laughter

91. Why did the paramedic always carry a pencil? In case they needed to draw a quick breath!
92. How do you make a doctor laugh? Show them their “patients”!
93. What do you call an emergency room full of musicians? A band-aid station!
94. Why was the fire truck red? You’d be red too if you had to rush around all day!
95. What did the emergency doctor say to the nurse? “Stat up and listen!”
96. Why did the lifeguard throw a clock out the window? To see time fly during an emergency!
97. How does an ambulance signal it’s ready for jokes? With a “pun-siren”!
98. Why do emergency room doctors never get lost? Because they always follow the “stretcher”!
99. What’s an emergency dispatcher’s favorite kind of tea? “Call-a-mine” tea!
100. How do fire trucks flirt? They give a “ladder” of attention!
101. How do paramedics keep their humor? By staying “pun”-ctual!
102. What’s the fireman’s motto? “Never leave a joke unburnt!”
103. Why did the EMT cross the road? To get to the “heart” of the matter!
104. How do paramedics write their novels? With lots of “plot twists”!
105. Why did the rescue diver become a comedian? To dive into laughter!
106. How do firemen make s’mores? With a “hose” of marshmallows!
107. Why was the emergency exit sad? Because it felt “left” out!
108. What did the trauma surgeon say to the comedian? “You’re a real cut-up!”
109. How do you keep an emergency room cool? With an “iced” sense of humor!
110. Why do ambulance drivers have great party tricks? Because they always “break” the ice!
111. How does a helicopter handle stress? With high “rotor-tions”!
112. What’s a rescue worker’s favorite candy? Lifesavers!
113. Why did the paramedic make a great singer? Because they knew all the high “notes”!
114. How do emergency services stay so friendly? They always “dispatch” kindness!
115. Why did the fireman visit the comedy club? To “heat” up the night!
116. How do lifeguards stay organized? With a “shore” schedule!
117. What do you call a fire truck at a comedy show? The “blazing” star!
118. Why did the ER nurse laugh at the chart? It was a “tickle” file!
119. What’s a fire chief’s favorite drink? Anything with a “spark”le!

Keep the emergency jokes rolling

Need a quick laugh? Don’t keep it to yourself—share these jokes with friends and bookmark our site for more hilarious content!

As our hilarious journey of emergency jokes comes to an end, we hope you had a rib-tickling time. Remember, laughter is truly infectious, so don’t forget to share these jokes with your friends and family. Bookmark jokeandpun.com to keep the laughter alive, and come back anytime you need a quick and clever laugh. After all, every emergency deserves a comedic rescue!