Memorial Day is a time to celebrate and honor the brave men and women who have served our country. What better way to bring a smile and lightheartedness to this honorable day than with a collection of side-splitting jokes?
Did you know Memorial Day was originally called Decoration Day and began after the American Civil War to honor Union and Confederate soldiers? Now, it’s expanded to all Americans who have died while in military service.
With that in mind, the perfect blend of humor and homage can lighten the mood and add a spark of joy to your Memorial Day festivities. So, let’s dive into these witty quips and clever one-liners that’re perfect to share at your family gatherings, BBQs, or online.
Table of the best Memorial Day jokes
1. Why did the scarecrow join the army?
He wanted to be outstanding in his field.
2. How did the soldier get in trouble while mailing a letter home?
He forgot to address the envelope!
3. Why don’t secrets ever get out at the Pentagon?
Because they’re always under cover.
4. What military branch did the cow join?
The Milky Way Command.
5. Why did the general break up with the private?
He found out he was too regimented.
6. How do you communicate with a fish in the military?
Drop them a line.
7. Where do army ants go for a drink?
The canteen.
8. Why was the computer cold at the Memorial Day parade?
Because it left its Windows open.
9. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
10. How do soldiers keep cool at a BBQ?
They stay near the fans.
11. Why was the math book sad on Memorial Day?
It had too many problems.
12. How does the ocean pay tribute at Memorial Day?
With a wave.
13. What do you call a dancing colonel?
A lieutenant of rhythm.
14. Why was the piano so brave during the war?
It always kept its keys together.
15. How did the band aid honor soldiers?
By performing patriotic covers.
16. Why wasn’t the turkey invited to the Memorial Day BBQ?
Because it was already stuffed with jokes.
17. What do you call a bee in the USAF?
A buzz pilot.
18. What do snipers need to succeed in their mission?
Perfect aim and a good scope of the situation.
19. How do chefs honor soldiers during Memorial Day?
By cooking up a storm.
20. Why did the shipwreck always seem cheerful?
Because it was still in pieces.
21. What animal is a great soldier?
A hare – they are good at camo-flage.
22. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
23. What did the chef say on Memorial Day?
Steaks are high today for our heroes.
24. How do you know your flag’s been working out?
It has a lot of stars.
25. What’s a soldier’s favorite type of music?
Marching bands, of course!
26. Why was the sand wet?
The seaweed.
27. How do small armies always achieve victory?
They already have a little force.
28. Why did the veterans feel cold at the ceremony?
They were standing in front of a draft.
29. Why did the tomato turn red on Memorial Day?
It saw the salad dressing in camouflage.
30. How do soldiers keep fresh in their uniforms?
They iron out the wrinkles in their plans.
31. What’s a gorilla’s favorite holiday?
Memorilla Day.
32. What did one flag say to the other on Memorial Day?
Nothing, it just waved.
33. What’s a soldier’s favorite plant?
An army cacti-lary.
34. Why don’t soldiers play hide and seek?
Good luck hiding from a UAV.
35. How do oceans greet their heroes?
With an endless wave.
36. Why did the airplane feel proud on Memorial Day?
Because it had high spirits.
37. What kind of tea do the military rank the best?
An admiral-Tea.
38. Why did the veteran become a chef?
He wanted to show his grit in the kitchen.
39. What’s a paratrooper’s favorite dance move?
The drop.
40. Why did the students have a snack break during ROTC?
They had to recharge their batteries.
41. What did the lifeguard say on Memorial Day?
May the wave be with you.
42. Why don’t pilots make good comedians?
Their jokes tend to fly over people’s heads.
43. What do you call a sleeping bag in the military?
Snug artillery.
44. Why did the bicycle drop from army training?
It was two tired.
45. What makes a great naval officer?
Knot-tying expertise.
46. Why do tanks never get lost?
They always follow their GPS-ing.
47. What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two!
48. Why was the soldier great at archery?
Because he was a seasoned bow-slinger.
49. What do you call a patriotic cow?
A Moo-rior.
50. Why couldn’t the sailor play cards?
The captain was standing on the deck.
51. How are soldiers during the summer?
They have really tan lines.
52. What’s a veteran’s least favorite spell?
Navy-gadabra.
53. Why aren’t pirates good at algebra?
They can’t figure out where X marks the spot.
54. What did the soldier ask at the restaurant?
Where’s the HQ BBQ?
55. Why was the cannon so humble?
It had low self-esteem.
56. What do soldiers eat for breakfast?
Parafakes.
57. Why do soldiers avoid Twitter on Memorial Day?
They prefer handling real birds.
58. What happens when you take a power nap?
The same as a regular nap – but in camouflage!
59. Why did the soldier build a fence around his garden?
To keep the veggies on the right side.
60. How do you make a tissue dance in the army?
Put a little boogie in it.
61. What’s a soldier’s favorite national park?
Mount Rushmoreous.
62. Why did the sergeant shout at the game?
It was his duty to guide the ball.
63. How do Marines organize a party?
They just “Semper-Fi” the plans.
64. What did the bugle say in the morning?
Time to “Rrrrrrr-eveille”.
65. What does an air force officer do after retirement?
They simply take off.
66. Why don’t astronomers and soldiers get along?
One looks for stars, the other for stripes.
67. Why was the ship glued to the dock?
It couldn’t break away from its duties.
68. How did the tank instructor make tea?
With armored flavor.
69. How do soldiers stay busy at the beach?
They keep in sand formation.
70. What’s the best way to honor fallen soldiers?
With a heartfelt joke and a grateful laugh.
Let’s share the laughter and honor our heroes
We hope these Memorial Day jokes brought both laughter and tribute to your hearts. Share these jokes with your friends and family to spread joy and honor our heroes with humor. Don’t forget to bookmark and visit jokeandpun.com for more entertaining content that blends laughter with respect. Happy Memorial Day!
