Who doesn’t love autumn? The crisp air, cozy sweaters, and pumpkin-flavored everything make it a season worth celebrating. But let’s not forget one of the most iconic symbols of fall—the mighty pumpkin! While pumpkins are usually associated with pies, lattes, and spooky jack-o’-lanterns, did you know they also bring the laughs?
Here’s a fun fact: the largest pumpkin ever grown weighed over 2,700 pounds! If you think that’s massive, wait until you see the amount of humor we’re about to harvest. These pumpkin jokes are here to spice up your autumn season with laughs that are as satisfying as your favorite pumpkin treat.
So, grab your mug of pumpkin spice latte, settle into your coziest blanket, and prepare for a laugh-out-loud journey through gourd-geous humor. Whether you’re at a bonfire, scrolling on your phone, or hosting a pumpkin-carving night, these jokes are perfect for sharing with friends and family. Let’s squish into these puns, shall we?
Table of the Best Pumpkin Jokes
1. Why was the pumpkin so bad at sports?
Because it always got squashed!
2. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash, of course!
3. What do you call a pumpkin that plays the trumpet?
Toot-gourd!
4. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite animal?
A gourd-geous goose!
5. Why do pumpkins sit on porches during Halloween?
Because they have no hands to knock!
6. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite game show?
Wheel of Gourd-tune!
7. What do hip pumpkin parents say to their kids?
Orange you glad we didn’t turn into pie?
8. What do you get if you drop a pumpkin?
Squash-ed!
9. What did the jack-o’-lantern say at happy hour?
Let’s get lit!
10. How do pumpkins fix their hair?
With a gourd-comb!
11. Why did the pumpkin cross the road?
To prove it wasn’t chicken soup!
12. What’s a pumpkin’s go-to streaming service?
Hula (the gourd edition)!
13. What’s worse than finding a worm in your pumpkin pie?
Finding half a worm!
14. Why did the pumpkin fail its driving test?
Because it kept making squashy turns!
15. What do you call a party with lots of pumpkins?
A smashing time!
16. Why do pumpkins never tell scary stories at bedtime?
They don’t want to hollow anyone’s dreams!
17. How can you tell if a pumpkin is outgoing?
It makes gourd-puns all the time!
18. Why do pumpkins make great musicians?
They have perfectly hollow acoustics!
19. What do you call pumpkins who are great detectives?
Sher-gourds!
20. Why are pumpkins such flirtatious gourds?
They always give you pumpkin to talk about!
21. What did one jack-o’-lantern say to the other?
You light up my life!
22. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of pie?
Any as long as it’s not self-pie!
23. How do pumpkins keep in contact?
They gourd-mail each other!
24. Why didn’t the pumpkin fight back?
Because it didn’t have the guts!
25. How do pumpkins do well in school?
They follow their seeds of knowledge!
26. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of joke?
Anything with lots of filling laughs!
27. What did the pumpkin latte say to the whipped cream?
You’re the top of my mug!
28. What did the pumpkin farmer say during their comedy show?
Thanks for the vine-tastic audience!
29. Why was the pumpkin hired as a therapist?
It was excellent at getting to the root of problems.
30. What kind of car does a pumpkin drive?
A gourd-se!
31. What costume did the pumpkin wear for Halloween?
A spice rack!
32. Why couldn’t the pumpkin tell a secret?
Its lid keeps popping off!
33. What’s a serious pumpkin’s worst nightmare?
Being called a squash clown!
34. What do pumpkins say at the gym?
I’ll just lift a couple of “pumpkin-presses!”
35. Why do pumpkins love coffee?
Because they’re full of spice and motivation!
36. How do pumpkins throw a dinner party?
With gourd-plates and vine glasses!
37. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite rock band?
Smashing Gourds!
38. Why did the pumpkin bring a ladder?
It wanted to rise to the pumpkin-asion!
39. What do you call a pumpkin artist?
A van-Gourd!
40. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite accessory?
A seed-covered belt!
41. Why didn’t the jack-o’-lantern ghost scare anyone?
Because it was too boo-rtiful!
42. What do pumpkins use to keep warm?
A gourd-geous sweater!
43. How do you compliment a pumpkin?
You’re simply smashing today!
44. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite love song?
I only have pies for you!
45. Why was the pumpkin such a rebel?
It didn’t follow the patch rules!
46. What snack does a pumpkin bring to the beach?
Some pumpkin chips and gourd-dip!
47. Why did the pumpkin go see a therapist?
It had a lot of inner seeds to work through!
48. What’s a pumpkin mom’s favorite bedtime phrase?
Gourd-night, sleep tight!
49. Why do pumpkins make great friends?
They’re always gourd at keeping secrets!
50. How do pumpkins win debates?
With hollow and solid points!
51. When does a pumpkin start running?
Right after someone yells, “Ready, squash, go!”
52. What’s a pumpkin’s least favorite chore?
Taking out the guts!
53. How does a pumpkin relax on weekends?
By watching gourd-flicks!
54. Why didn’t the pumpkin do well at karaoke?
Its voice was too hollow!
55. What did Cinderella say to her pumpkin coach?
Thanks for squashing time for me!
56. What’s a pumpkin’s ideal vacation?
A patch-getaway!
57. Why are pumpkins so humble?
Because they know they’re not squash-ed cheese!
58. How do pumpkins find love?
Through their vine connections!
59. What did the pumpkin say to its crush?
“You’ve gourd me feeling all kinds of vine-tastic!”
60. Why did the pumpkin take up yoga?
It wanted to find its inner-peace and squash the stress.
61. How do pumpkins celebrate their birthdays?
With plenty of squash-ed cake and gourd-geous gifts!
62. Why was the pumpkin so bad at lying?
Because its expressions were carved in stone.
63. What’s a pumpkin’s least favorite holiday?
Thanksgiving—too many of their relatives end up in pies!
64. What did the pumpkin say during the marathon?
“I’m running on pure gourd power!”
65. Why don’t pumpkins trust the weather forecast?
Because it’s always unpredictable in the patch!
66. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite school subject?
Agriculture—it’s where they really root themselves!
67. Why did the pumpkin go viral?
Its selfie game was un-gourd-gettable!
68. How do pumpkins apologize?
With a heartfelt, “Sorry for gourd-ing your feelings!”
69. What’s a pumpkin’s motto when facing challenges?
“Don’t squash under pressure—vine your strength!”
70. What’s a pumpkin’s least favorite mode of transportation?
Carriage rides—too much trauma from Cinderella stories.
71. Why did the pumpkin refuse to enter the pie contest?
It didn’t want to be sliced into the competition.
72. What do pumpkins do at the gym?
They work on their core strength!
73. How do pumpkins tell spooky stories?
By flickering their candlelit faces for dramatic effect.
74. Why did the pumpkin break up with its partner?
They felt like they were being stringed along by the vine.
75. What do pumpkins write in their love letters?
“You’ve carved out a special place in my heart!”
76. Why do pumpkins throw the best parties?
Because they know how to squash all the fun into one night!
77. How did the pumpkin win the comedy show?
Its gourd-timing was impeccable!
78. What did the pumpkin say after its makeover?
“Wow, I look like a million seeds!”
79. Why did the pumpkin wear sunglasses?
Because it was shining too brightly in the spotlight!
80. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite bedtime story?
“The Tale of the Great Pumpkin Patch Adventure.”
81. Why did the pumpkin get detention?
For vine-swinging in the hallways!
82. What do pumpkins say after they finish a race?
“I came, I squashed, I conquered!”
83. What do you call a pumpkin that loves to sing?
A gourd-alicious diva!
84. Why don’t pumpkins ever get into fights?
Because they believe in squash-ing the drama early.
85. How do pumpkins greet each other on Halloween?
“Hey there, jack-o’-bestie!”
86. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite adventure activity?
Rock-climbing on the vine cliffs!
87. Why did the pumpkin feel awkward at the party?
It had too many seeds spilling out of its shell.
88. How do pumpkins end their emails?
“Stay orange and vine on!”
89. Why did the pumpkin join the talent show?
To show off its gourd-geous glow!
90. What do pumpkins dream about?
Living their best un-squashed life in the patch.
91. What’s a pumpkin’s least favorite kitchen tool?
A carving knife—talk about scary!
92. Why did the pumpkin take a nap during the meeting?
Because it was feeling hollow inside.
93. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite fairy tale?
“Jack and the Great Pumpkin Vine.”
94. Why was the pumpkin terrible at hide-and-seek?
It always stood out in the patch!
95. What do pumpkins say when making a toast?
“Here’s to a vine-tastic life!”
96. Why don’t pumpkins write novels?
Because they’re afraid of plot-holes!
97. How do pumpkins do karaoke?
They belt out “I’m Gourd-ing to Love You!”
98. Why did the pumpkin take tap-dancing lessons?
To learn how to squash the beat!
99. What did the pumpkin wear to the gala?
A vine-tage suit and a glowing smile!
100. Why do pumpkins love autumn so much?
Because it’s their time to shine and squash the competition!
Share these jokes and plant some giggles!
We hope these pumpkin jokes tickled your funny bone more than a scarecrow on a breezy October evening! Ready to make someone’s season brighter?
Share this collection of humor with your family, friends, or coworkers. Bookmark JokeAndPun.com for more laughs, and let the pumpkin-spired giggles roll on! Keep it playful, because laughter truly is the pumpkin spice of life.
