Whether you’re a city dweller or a countryside aficionado, there’s nothing like a good cow joke to brighten up your day. From the classic to the absurd, these udderly hilarious cow jokes will have you rolling on the barn floor with laughter.
Perfect for every occasion, these barnyard-inspired jokes are sure to steer the conversation in a fun direction. From pigs and cats to birds, bears, chickens, and even snakes, this collection of 70 animal-themed belly laughs is guaranteed to have everyone squealing, chirping, roaring, clucking, and hissing with laughter.
So, get ready to have a moo-ving,oinking, tweeting, growling, pecking, and slithering good time with these hilarious jokes!
Table of Contents
Best Cow Jokes
1. Why Don’t Cows Have Money?
Because the farmer milks them dry every day!
2. What Did the Momma Cow Say to the Baby Cow?
It’s pasture bedtime!
3. How Do You Stop a Bull from Charging?
You unplug it!
4. Why Did the Farmer Get a Brown Cow and a White Cow?
He wanted to make chocolate milk.
5. What Do You Call a Sleeping Cow?
A bulldozer!
6. What Do Cows Wear in Hawaii?
Moo-umuus!
7. How Do You Count Cows?
With a cow-culator!
8. What Do You Call a Cow With No Legs?
Ground beef!
9. Why Was the Cow Afraid?
There was a moo-derer on the loose!
10. Why Do Cows Lie Down in the Rain?
To keep each udder dry!
11. What Do You Call a Sad Cow?
Moo-dy!
12. What Is a Cow’s Favorite Holiday?
Moo-year’s Day!
13. Why Don’t Cows Make Good Detectives?
They always milk the evidence!
14. Why Are Cows Bad Dancers?
They have two left feet!
15. What Do You Call a Cow That Won’t Give Milk?
An udder failure!
16. What Do Cows Do For Entertainment?
They rent moo-vies!
17. What Did The Cow Confess To His Therapist?
“I feel like I’m seen as just a piece of meat!”
18. What Did The Cow Say To The Silly Farmer?
“Don’t go pulling my leg, or I mean, my udder!”
19. How Do You Apologize To A Cow?
You butter them up!
20. What’s A Cow’s Favorite Subject?
Moo-sic!
(We’ve just reached the halfway point. So, if you think you’ve heard all the cow jokes, think again. We’re still grazing here!)
21. What Do You Call A Cow With A Twitch?
Beef Jerky!
22. Why Did The Cow Wear A Bell?
Because her horn didn’t work!
23. Cow About to be Slaughtered?
Deja moo!
24. What Did The Cattle Drive Say?
Moo-ve over!
25. What Do Call A Cow That Can Play An Instrument?
A Moo-sician!
26. Why Did The Cow Go To Space?
To visit the Milky Way!
27. What Do Cows Read For Fun?
Cattle-logs!
28. What’s A Cow’s Favorite Magical Spell?
Abra-cowdabra!
29. How Do Cows Talk About Their Friends?
They gossip over the moo-s!
30. Why Don’t Cows Speak Up?
They don’t want to be a-moo-sing!
31. What do you call an angry male cow?
Red Bull!
32. Why Did The Secret Cow Agent Go Undercover?
To get the moo-king of the mole!
33. What’s A Cow’s Favorite Place To Visit?
The moo-seum!
34. What Do You Call A Friendly Herd Of Cows?
Meet and greet steak!
35. Why Did The Cow Join The Circus?
Because he wanted to be a bucking bronco!
36. Why did the cow join a dating app?
She wanted to find her “udder half”!
37. Why did the cow get a tattoo?
To show off its udderly unique style!
38. What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated!
39. Why don’t cows play hide and seek?
Because they always end up being spotted!
40. Why did the cow fail the driving test?
It couldn’t steer properly.
41. What did the cow say to the sexy bull?
“You’re udderly irresistible!”
42. Why was the cow always invited to parties?
Because she knew how to milk every moment!
43. What did the cow say to the butcher?
“You’re really getting on my nerves!”
44. Why did the cow break up with her boyfriend?
He was too much of a bull-y!
45. Why don’t cows wear underwear?
Because it’s uncomfortable under the udder.
46. Why did the cow bring a ladder to the bar?
To get to the high steaks!
47. What did the cow say to her therapist?
“I’ve got beef with everyone lately!”
48. Why was the cow always calm?
Because she practiced moo-ditation!
49. Why did the cow moonlight as a comedian?
To milk the audience for laughs!
50. How do cows stay up to date with the news?
They read the daily moo-s-paper!
51. Why did the cow go to the beauty salon?
She wanted to get a new mooo-do!
52. Why was the cow a great artist?
Because she had an udderly creative mind!
53. Why did the cow wear sunglasses?
Because she was too cool for the barn!
54. What did the cow say when she got a promotion?
“I’m moo-ving up in the world!”
55. Why did the cow become a fitness trainer?
She wanted to help others get moo-scles!
56. Why did the cow become a nurse?
Because she was good at giving cow-passionate care!
57. Why did the cow bring a suitcase to the farm?
She was ready to moo-ve to greener pastures!
58. What did the cow say to the rude rooster?
“Moo-ve aside, clucker!”
59. Why did the cow visit the psychiatrist?
She had too many moo-d swings!
60. Why did the cow become a fashion model?
She had the best moo-ves on the runway!
61. What do you call a cow that can’t moo?
A milk dud!
62. Why did the cow go to jail?
She was caught cattle-rusting!
63. Why did the cow apply for a loan?
To expand her moo-lk production!
64. What did the cow say at the comedy club?
“I’ve got a few udderly hilarious jokes for you!”
65. Why did the cow bring a notebook to the field?
To jot down her mooo-sings!
66. Why was the cow always the life of the party?
She had a contagious moo-d!
67. Why did the cow start a podcast?
To share her mooo-sings with the world!
68. Why did the cow visit the art museum?
To see the mooo-nal Lisa!
69. Why did the cow become an astronaut?
She wanted to see the mooo-n up close!
70. Why did the cow get a driver’s license?
So she could steer her way through life!
Bonus: Why did the farmer count his cows? Because he was told to keep track of how many came home until the cows come home.
Time to Share Your Favorite Cow Jokes
Well, there you have it – udderly amusing cow jokes that’ll keep you in stitches. We hope they’ve brought a smile to your face and laughter to your day. Life on the farm’s never been so funny! So, don’t keep these hilariously moovelous jokes to yourself. Share them far and wide, make someone’s day a little funnier, and keep the laughter going.
Remember, mirth is contagious, and cow jokes are no exception. And while you’re at it, why not subscribe to our website for a steady stream of humorous content? After all, future hilarious cow jokes are just a click away!
Why are cow jokes so popular?
Cow jokes are popular because they are often simple, punny, and family-friendly. They play on the gentle nature of cows and their association with farms and the countryside. They can also be educational, teaching children about cows and their behavior.
What are some examples of popular cow jokes?
Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side!
How do you count cows? With a cowculator!
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Are cow jokes appropriate for all ages?
Most cow jokes are clean and appropriate for all ages. However, some jokes may involve puns that younger children may not understand. If you’re unsure whether a joke is appropriate, it’s always best to err on the side of caution and choose a different one.
