From the fruitiest of jokes to the seediest of puns, funny bones are about to be tickled green! Welcome to our leafy, laughter-filled salad of Vegan Meat Alternatives Puns. These jokes are plantastically funny, engaging, and absolutely ripe for the picking! Whether you’re a vegetarian, a vegan, or a meat-eater with a taste for humor, you’re sure to find these pea-ly amusing.
Let’s dive into this forest of wit and witness these roots of humor balancing the scales of fun and food!
Table of the Best Vegan Meat Alternatives Puns
1. Why don’t vegetarians attend BBQ parties?
Because they can’t stand the sight of grilled relations.
2. Why did the tofu break up with the mushroom?
Because it was a fun-guy, but there wasn’t mush-room for improvement in their relationship.
3. What did the grape say to the almond?
Stop acting nuts; life isn’t always about wine and dines!
4. Why are fruits the best party hosts?
Because they never run out of punch lines at their fruit punch parties.
5. How do you keep a bag of Vegan chips entertained?
Tell it a bunch of corn-y jokes.
6. What’s a banana’s favorite exercise?
Peels.
7. Why was the vegetable soup so proud?
Because it was broth-made!
8. How do vegans spice up their jokes?
With a little bit of pepper-mint humor.
9. Why didn’t the tomato turn vegan?
Because he couldn’t ketchup with the diet!
10. What does corn say when it feels embarrassed?
“Aww, shucks!”
11. What is a vegan’s favorite type of joke?
Puns that are corn-pletely a-rye-sing.
12. Why was the mushroom the life of the party?
Because he’s such a fungi.
13. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
14. What did the lettuce say to the celery?
Stop stalking me.
15. Why did the cucumber blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing too!
16. How does a vegan cheese introduce itself?
It says, “I’m very gouda for your health.”
17. Why did the farmer go on a diet?
He wanted to reap what he sows.
18. What did the green peas say to the tofu?
Nothing. They are both pretty pod-itive types.
19. What’s the best way to take vegetables out to dinner?
Plant them a week in advance.
20. How do chickpeas keep themselves entertained?
By cracking each other up.
21. What did the Onion say to Celery?
You stalk too much!
22. Why did Mr. Tomato turn red?
Because he saw Miss Eggplant going purple.
23. What’s a Vegan’s favorite pick-up line?
Are you a fruit? Because honeydew-you-know how fine you look right now.
24. What did the potato say to the vegetable oil at the party?
I’m totally fried!
25. What did the tomato say to the rocket?
Stop leaf-ing around.
26. What is a zucchini’s favorite punishment?
Grounding into a squash.
27. How do vegetables lose weight?
They get into the habit of veg-exercising!
28. What’s one way a vegan can protect his house?
By installing a powerful beet-root security system.
29. How do you compliment a vegetable?
“Peas stay as beautiful as you are!”
30. How does a vegan show they’re excited?
They exclaim, “I’m soy excited!”
31. What’s a potato’s favorite musical tune?
The one where they can chip in with their sweet note-s.
32. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
33. Why was corn voted as the best crop?
Because it was all ears at the farmers’ meeting.
34. What did the sweet potato say to the regular potato?
“I yam what I yam!”
35. How do you throw a vegan barbecue?
Plant it ahead!
36. Why did the tofu cross the road?
To prove it wasn’t chicken!
37. What does the vegan say to his meat-eating boss?
“Boss, you can’t substitute me!”
38. Why are vegans always on the bench?
Because they’re the substitutes!
39. What’s a vegan’s favorite pastime?
Planting!
40. What happened when a vegan gets hit at the head?
“Stunned” like vegetable.
41. What do you call a lazy vegan?
Crouch potato
Final Food-for-Thought
We hope these vegan meat alternative puns have sprinkled some humor onto your day and planted a seed of joy in your hearts. From the beet of our hearts, we hope this compost of vegan jokes has brought more than just a few smiles to your faces. Now, it’s your turn to share the laughter with your friends and family across your social media channels. Bookmark our site, JokeAndPun.com, for more humorous content.
Capture their hearts with these plantastically funny puns and help spread the hearty laughter around. We have more vegan puns that are too gourd to be true, so stay tuned in for them and keep the green laughter rolling!
