Life without laughter is like Texas without BBQ – dull and dry. So, sit back, relax, and prepare for an onslaught of hilarity as we serve up Texas jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone and put a Texas-sized grin on your face. These jokes are hotter than a jalapeno popper at a backyard cookout, bigger than a ten-gallon hat, and more Texan than a longhorn steer at a rodeo.
Whether you’re a born-and-bred Texan, a transplant from New York, California, or anywhere in between,these jokes are sure to make you hoot and holler like a cowboy at a Saturday night dance. So grab your boots, your hat,and a glass of sweet tea, and get ready to laugh till the cows come home!
Table of the Best Texas Jokes
1. A Cowboy’s Conundrum
A cowboy rides into town on Sunday, stays for three nights and then leaves on Sunday. How is this possible? His horse’s name is Sunday!
2. Texas Sunrise
Why did the Texan bring a ladder to the bar? He heard drinks were on the house.
3. BBQ Banter
What does a cowboy cook at a rodeo BBQ? Anything he wants, because it’s cowboy’s choice!
4. Inquisitive Minds
Why don’t Texas kids play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re taller than the prairie grass!
5. Getting the Timing Right
How do you know when it’s bedtime at a Texas ranch? When the big hand touches the little longhorn!
6. Fact or Fiction?
Why do Texas football teams go to the bakery? Because they need a good “roll” model!
7. Spur of the Moment
Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund? Because he wanted to get a long little doggie!
8. Not-So-Sweet Tea
How do you sweeten your tea in Texas? Throw in a spoonful of Texas charm.
9. Rodeo Roulette
Why do cowboys always win at poker? Because they play with a full deck of ‘Texas Hold ‘em’!
10. Lone Star Logic
A man asked a Texan how he liked his new fence. The Texan replied, “I’m on the fence about it.”
11. Heatwave Humor
Even the best Texas jokes can’t beat this classic: What do you call a hot day in Texas? A cool breeze.
12. Why did the Texan bring a ladder to the bar?
He heard drinks were on the house.
13. What does a cowboy cook at a rodeo BBQ?
Anything he wants, because it’s cowboy’s choice!
14. Why don’t Texas kids play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding when you’re taller than the prairie grass!
15. How do you know when it’s bedtime at a Texas ranch?
When the big hand touches the little longhorn!
16. Why do Texas football teams go to the bakery?
Because they need a good “roll” model!
17. Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?
Because he wanted to get a long little doggie!
18. How do you sweeten your tea in Texas?
Throw in a spoonful of Texas charm.
19. Why do cowboys always win at poker?
Because they play with a full deck of ‘Texas Hold ‘em’!
20. A man asked a Texan how he liked his new fence. The Texan replied,
“I’m on the fence about it.”
21. What do you call a hot day in Texas?
A cool breeze.
22. Why did the Texan stand on the right side of the Longhorn?
Because that’s where he always stands: on the right side of history!
23. Why did the scarecrow move to Texas?
Because he heard the corn was higher!
24. What do you call a Texan at the North Pole?
Lost!
25. Why did the armadillo cross the road?
To prove it wasn’t chicken!
26. How do Texans say goodbye?
“Y’all come back now, ya hear!”
27. What do you call a Texan who’s moved to Alaska?
A popsicle!
28. Why don’t Texans use bookmarks?
Because they like to dog-ear their pages!
29. How do Texans stay cool in the summer?
They stand in the shade and wait for November!
30. What’s a Texan’s favorite type of music?
Country, because it’s always in their range!
31. Why did the Texan bring a pencil to the bar?
In case they needed to draw a crowd!
32. What do you get when you cross a cowboy with an octopus?
An armful of trouble!
33. Why did the cowboy sit on a cactus?
To get a point across!
34. How do Texans take their coffee?
With a side of brisket!
35. What do you call a Texan who’s bad at basketball?
A rodeo clown!
36. Why did the Texan go to space?
To see if the stars were bigger there too!
37. How do you know when a Texan is lying?
Their lips are moving!
38. What’s a Texan’s favorite time of day?
High noon!
39. Why did the Texan build a fence around the airport?
To keep the jet streams in!
40. How do you make a Texan’s eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in their ear!
41. Why did the cowboy bring string to the rodeo?
To tie one on!
42. What do you call a Texan who loves math?
A cow-culator!
43. Why did the Texan go to school?
To learn how to “wrangle” his grades!
44. How do Texans clean their clothes?
With a tumbleweed dryer!
45. What do you call a Texan at the beach?
A fish out of water!
46. Why did the Texan take a nap on the highway?
To catch up on some “road rest”!
47. How do you make a Texan laugh on Saturday?
Tell them a joke on Wednesday!
48. Why did the Texan bring a bucket to the bar?
In case he wanted to carry a tune!
49. What’s a Texan’s favorite game?
“Tag, y’all’re it!”
50. Texas Size Tenacity
Why did the Texan stand on the right side of the Longhorn? Because that’s where he always stands: on the right side of history!
Share The Laughs, Spread the Cheer
We’ve taken you on a wild and wacky pun-ridden, Texas-style humor rodeo. We hope these Texas jokes have lassoed you into fits of laughter and brightened up your day—or better yet, your week. Remember, sharing is caring, so don’t keep these belly laughs to yourself. Pass along the fun to friends, family, or anyone who could use a smile.
We’re always cooking up more humor, so remember to bookmark our website and visit us again. After all, who doesn’t need a daily dose of good, hearty laughter? as they say in Texas, “A day without laughter is like a Stetson without a crown.” So, keep laughing and keep livin’ the dream, y’all!
