Did you know that Tom Brady was drafted 199th overall in the 2000 NFL draft? That’s almost the last pick! But hey, it sure didn’t stop him from becoming the most celebrated quarterback in NFL history. And with a legend like Brady, the jokes are even more entertaining. So let’s tackle some humor with a lineup of top-notch Tom Brady jokes that are sure to blitz your funny bone!
And if you’re looking for a comeback, just remember, Tom Brady has more Super Bowl rings than fingers!
Table of the Best Tom Brady Jokes
1. Out of Time
Why doesn’t Tom Brady drink coffee?
Because he hates anything that lets him down and runs out of time.
2. The Real Winner
Why did Tom Brady bring a ladder to the game?
He heard that the Super Bowl is usually out of reach.
3. Bad Reception
Tom Brady doesn’t have a Twitter account because he can’t handle any more incomplete passes.
4. Inflated Ego
What’s Tom Brady’s favorite part about a blowout win?
The“inflate” part.
5. The Aging Wonder
Why doesn’t Tom Brady ever get old?
Because every time he does something, people say it’s “unprecedented.”
6. The Cheesy Joke
Why don’t cheese and Tom Brady get along?
Because he’s goat!
7. Unwelcome Advice
Why did Tom Brady go to the bakery?
He heard they could help him roll out better.
8. Unbalanced Diet
Why doesn’t Tom Brady eat cake?
Because he can’t stand turnovers.
9. Presence of Mind
Why is Tom Brady the best at playing hide and seek?
Because he never shows his presence.
10. Oculus Rift
Why does Tom Brady prefer virtual reality?
Because in VR, every pass is complete.
11. Over-achiever
Why does Tom Brady bring a pencil to his games?
Because he always wants to draw a play!
12. Fitness First
Why did Tom Brady break up with his gym trainer?
Because he was a total pass-master!
13. Royal Decree
If Tom Brady was king, what would be his first rule?
Deflate to dominate!
14. Quick Change
Did you hear Tom Brady changed his computer password?
It’s now ‘noSuperbowlL’
15. Landscaping Woes
Why did Tom Brady get a job as a landscaper?
He needed practice getting into the end zone.
16. Time Flies
Why doesn’t Tom Brady ever watch old game tapes?
Because he says, “Past performance doesn’t guarantee future results.”
17. Blocked
Why did Tom Brady get rid of his smartphone?
Because he couldn’t handle all the missed calls.
18. MVP Misunderstanding
Why did Tom Brady take his football to bed?
He misunderstood when someone said he was a Most Valuable “Pillow.”
19. Fashion Forward
Why does Tom Brady wear a helmet at parties?
Because he likes to make heads turn.
20. Wanted: New Alarm Clock
Tom Brady doesn’t have an alarm clock. Why?
He always wakes up at Super Bowl o’clock.
21. Tomorrow, Tomorrow
Why doesn’t Tom Brady sing “Tomorrow” from Annie?
Because he never knows when he is defeated.
22. The Right Direction
Why did Tom Brady go to school?
He wanted to have a “passing” grade.
23. Literal Interpretation
Why did Tom Brady bring his uniform to comedy night?
He heard he needed to bring his best “game.”
24. The Essay
Why did Tom Brady’s essay fail?
Because it had too many incomplete sentences.
25. Map Mishap
Why is Tom Brady terrible with maps?
Because he can’t find any passes.
26. Dictionary Definition
If you look up ‘heartbreak’ in the dictionary, what do you see?
A picture of Tom Brady losing a Super Bowl.
27. The Whisper
Why does Tom Brady always whisper in his teammates’ ears?
Because he doesn’t want to pass the information aloud.
28.Beauty sleep
Why does Tom Brady always look so young?
Because he never loses sleep over a game.
29. Blessing in disguise
Why does Tom Brady love rain?
Because at least it’s not boos raining down on him.
30. Shrubbery Admiration
Why is Tom Brady like my garden hedge?
They’re both great at avoiding cuts.
Slam Dunk With Our Next Pun!
Are you laughing out loud or just having a chuckle? No matter the reaction, our Tom Brady jokes are designed to be a touchdown with humor. Be the MVP at your next gathering by sharing these jokes. Remember, sharing is caring, so don’t forget to enable push notifications and bookmark our website for fresh content.
Keep the fun going, and at your next party, you’ll be punting and passing jokes like a pro. See you soon with your next dose of hilarity!
