The only thing better than adult toys in the bedroom are the hilarious jokes they inspire. Despite their often steamy reputation, these gadgets can tickle more than just your fancy. Sometimes, they tickle your funny bone too.
For instance, did you know that vibrators were originally invented in the 19th century as a treatment for “hysteria” in women? Now that’s a touch of history that might just leave you—well—buzzing with laughter. Ready to dive into some cheeky puns and witticisms?
We’ll keep it just clean enough for a chuckle but raunchy enough to make you squirm. So, whether you’re here for a horny laugh, a blush, or just to see how many times we can say “vibration” without losing our composure, prepare to be entertained!
Table of the Funniest Adult Toys Jokes
1. Why did the adult toy join the choir?
It wanted to hit all the high notes.
2. What’s an astronaut’s favorite type of adult toy?
A rocket. It sends them over the moon!
3. How do you propose to an adult toy?
With a diamond ring… that buzzes.
4. Why don’t adult toys get lost?
Because they always know where their home is.
5. What’s an adult toy’s favorite type of drink?
Anything with a buzz.
6. What do you call an adult toy that works in construction?
A jackhammer.
7. Why did the adult toy go to art school?
To master the strokes.
8. What’s an adult toy’s best feature?
Its flexibility.
9. Why did the adult toy break up with its partner?
It felt a little too turned on!
10. What’s an adult toy’s favorite genre of music?
Electric blues.
11. Why was the adult toy always so happy?
It was always turned on.
12. What do you call an adult toy who’s really good at poker?
A bluffing buddy.
13. Why do adult toys make terrible secret agents?
They can’t stay undercover!
14. What did one adult toy say to the other while watching TV?
“Let’s add some vibration to this channel!”
15. Why did the adult toy start a band?
To bring a whole new meaning to ‘rock and roll’.
16. What’s an adult toy’s favorite day of the week?
Hump day.
17. Why did the adult toy go to therapy?
It had trouble with multiple settings.
18. What’s an adult toy’s favorite type of comedy?
Stand-up, but it prefers to stay lying down.
19. How do you make an adult toy laugh?
Tickle its funny battery.
20. Why did the adult toy become a DJ?
It loved to spin and make the crowd go wild.
21. What do you call a dramatic adult toy?
A shakes-pier.
22. Why don’t adult toys ever sleep?
They’re all about sleepless nights!
23. Why did the adult toy get promoted?
It had all the right moves.
24. What’s an adult toy’s favorite sport?
Vibration aerobics.
25. Why was the adult toy on the principal’s desk?
It was setting an example for high performance!
26. What do adult toys do at a party?
They bring the buzz.
27. Why did the adult toy win a race?
It had the best stamina.
28. What’s an adult toy’s favorite holiday?
Valentine’s Day, for all the love.
29. How do adult toys communicate?
Through electrical impulses.
30. What’s an adult toy’s motto?
“Keep calm and buzz on.”
31. Why do adult toys make great friends?
They’re always there to lift your spirits.
32. What did the adult toy say after a long day?
“I could use a recharge.”
33. Why was the adult toy always well-dressed?
It liked to stay in fashion, especially in latex.
34. What do you get if you cross an adult toy with a time machine?
A blast from the past!
35. Why was the adult toy good at gardening?
It knew how to create quite the buzz.
36. Why do adult toys make great movie stars?
They give an electrifying performance every time.
37. How do you make an adult toy smarter?
Teach it multiple settings.
38. What’s an adult toy’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Shock-o-late.
39. Why did the adult toy enroll in culinary school?
To master the art of mixing and blending.
40. Why was the adult toy always organized?
It liked to keep its settings in order.
41. What’s an adult toy’s nickname among friends?
The Energizer Bunny.
42. Why do adult toys make the best travel companions?
They always know how to keep things exciting.
43. What’s an adult toy’s favorite board game?
Operation, for that precise touch.
44. Why don’t adult toys play hide and seek?
Because they’re way too buzzy to hide.
45. Why did the adult toy go to the comedy club?
To get some new material.
46. Why was the adult toy great at science?
It was a pro at giving demos.
47. What’s an adult toy’s favorite season?
Spring, for all the vibrations.
48. Why did the adult toy host a late-night show?
It’s born to entertain after dark.
49. What’s an adult toy’s favorite hobby?
Electronics.
50. Why don’t adult toys get seasick?
They’re used to being tossed around.
51. Why did the vibrator go to music school?
Because it wanted to improve its “vibrato”!
52. What did the butt plug say at the party?
“I’m just here to fill in the gaps!”
53. Why was the cock ring always so optimistic?
Because it always saw the world through “rose-tinted rings.”
54. Why did the anal beads never get promoted?
They couldn’t climb the “chain” of command!
55. What did the rabbit vibrator say to the bullet vibrator?
“You might be quick, but I’ve got ‘ears’ everywhere!”
56. Why was the inflatable dildo always so relaxed?
It knew how to “blow off” steam!
57. What did the nipple clamps say after a long day?
“I really need to ‘let loose’!”
58. Why was the thrusting dildo always in a rush?
It had a reputation for “pushing forward.”
59. Why did the wand massager win Employee of the Month?
It always “worked out” the tension!
60. What did the suction vibrator say to its friends?
“I’ll always ‘suck it up’ when times are tough.”
61. Why did the vibrator break up with the dildo?
It wanted more “buzz” in the relationship.
62. What did the remote-control vibrator say during dinner?
“Don’t mind me, I’m just getting ‘turned on’!”
63. Why did the chastity cage start meditating?
To control its “restraints.”
64. What did the sex doll say after the breakup?
“I’m just here for the ‘rebound’!”
65. Why was the prostate massager so stressed out?
It felt like it was always “under pressure.”
66. What did the bondage rope say to the bedpost?
“We’re in this knot together!”
67. Why was the strap-on always so busy?
It had too many “positions” to fill!
68. What did the g-spot vibrator say to the regular dildo?
“I know all the right spots.”
69. Why did the penis pump feel so deflated?
Because it couldn’t handle all the “pressure.”
70. What did the clitoral stimulator say to the tongue?
“You might lick it, but I ‘suck’!”
71. Why was the dildo jealous of the vibrator?
Because it couldn’t “deal with the competition” without getting “left behind.”
72. What did the sex doll say after being deflated?
“At least now I’m free of all the ‘air pressure’… just like my self-esteem.”
73. Why did the cock ring go to therapy?
It had a “choking” problem but wasn’t ready to “let go.”
74. What did the anal beads say after a bad breakup?
“I feel like I’m always getting pulled out when things start getting messy.”
75. Why did the gimp mask get fired from its job?
It was too used to being “tied down” and couldn’t handle “freedom.”
76. Why did the vibrator go to rehab?
It got addicted to “shocking experiences” and couldn’t “unplug.”
77. Why don’t sex toys write their own memoirs?
Because every chapter would be about “getting used up and thrown in a drawer.”
78. What did the strap-on say to the worn-out harness?
“You can’t support me anymore, it’s time to ‘hang it up’.”
79. Why did the nipple clamps feel empty inside?
Because they were just “holding on to nothing.”
80. Why did the BDSM paddle get arrested?
It couldn’t stop “crossing the line” between “pain and pleasure.”
Don’t Share the Adult Toys But Spread the Adult Toys Jokes!
Laughter is too good to keep to yourself, especially when it involves some cheeky adult toys jokes. Share these quips with friends, bookmark this page, and keep the giggles going long after your screen goes dark.
Don’t forget to visit jokeandpun.com for more belly laughs and to keep the humor circuit alive. Buzz on, and stay fabulous!
