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Home»Jokes»80 Bank Jokes: Safe, Secure, and Hilariously Funny
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80 Bank Jokes: Safe, Secure, and Hilariously Funny

Laughter is the best currency
Dr. Charlie ThompsonBy Dr. Charlie Thompson10 Mins Read
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Bank Jokes: Safe, Secure, and Hilariously Funny
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If you’ve ever felt like your bank account could use a little more humor, you’re not alone! Banks might be serious places where money gets juggled around, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be the subject of some light-hearted fun.

Did you know that the first ATM was installed in London in 1967? Now, decades later, bank jokes are just as valuable as gold in breaking down the barriers of finance and making us laugh. Get ready to open an account in giggles with these bank jokes that are safe, secure, and hilariously funny!

Please share these jokes with friends and family, and watch as laughter becomes your most cherished dividend.

Table of the Best Bank Jokes

  • 1. Why do banks always say “You’re in good hands”?
  • 2. Why did the banker break up with his girlfriend?
  • 3. Why did the bank hire a detective?
  • 4. What’s a banker’s favorite type of exercise?
  • 5. Why was the math book sad at the bank?
  • 6. What do you call a banker who’s great with time management?
  • 7. Why did the bank teller cross the road?
  • 8. Why did the scarecrow become a banker?
  • 9. What’s a banker’s favorite kind of music?
  • 10. Why are banks so bad at relationships?
  • 11. Where do veggies go to get their money?
  • 12. Why didn’t the sun go to university?
  • 13. What do you call a banker who can sing?
  • 14. Why do bankers make awful comedians?
  • 15. What’s the bank’s favorite TV show?
  • 16. Why don’t fictional characters get bank loans?
  • 17. How does the moon get money from the bank?
  • 18. Why don’t bankers work from home?
  • 19. What did the banker say to the printer?
  • 20. Why don’t banks ever lose their cool?
  • 21. Why are goldfish so good at banking?
  • 22. Why did the frog take out a loan?
  • 23. Why did the chairman fall asleep?
  • 24. What do you call a long line in front of a bank?
  • 25. Why was the dollar bill always in therapy?
  • 26. What’s a banker’s favorite game?
  • 27. Why did the bank robber take a bath?
  • 28. Why did the banker get promoted?
  • 29. How did the bank find out about the counterfeit money?
  • 30. Why do banks like math so much?
  • 31. What do you call a group of musical bankers?
  • 32. How do bank tellers stay fit?
  • 33. What’s a banker’s best friend?
  • 34. Why do banks never lose at poker?
  • 35. What’s a banker’s least favorite vegetable?
  • 36. How did the banker get rich so easily?
  • 37. What did the bank do after a robbery?
  • 38. Why did the bank’s cat always win at hide and seek?
  • 39. What is the banker’s favorite hunting season?
  • 40. Why do banks love fitness programs?
  • 41. How does the bank keep its windows clean?
  • 42. What’s a banker’s favorite holiday?
  • 43. Why do banks never crash?
  • 44. How do banks greet each other?
  • 45. Why did the banker wear sunglasses?
  • 46. What’s a banker’s favorite tree?
  • 47. Why are banks so good with secrets?
  • 48. How do you know when the bank is cleaning?
  • 49. Why did the bank teller go skydiving?
  • 50. What’s a banker’s favorite candy?
  • 51. Why did the bank install an elevator?
  • 52. How do banks say goodbye?
  • 53. Why did the bank refuse a loan to the musician?
  • 54. Why do banks write so many letters?
  • 55. What did the penny say to the dollar?
  • 56. Why did the banker go to therapy?
  • 57. How are banks like book clubs?
  • 58. What’s a banker’s favorite type of weather?
  • 59. Why do banks always have strong doors?
  • 60. Why did the banker bring a ladder to work?
  • 61. What do you call a dolphin who works at a bank?
  • 62. Why did the banker have no friends?
  • 63. What’s a bank’s favorite tool?
  • 64. Why did the banker enroll in art class?
  • 65. What did the bank teller name their baby?
  • 66. Why do bank tellers always look both ways before crossing the road?
  • 67. Why did the ATM break down?
  • 68. Why did the banker stay at work overnight?
  • 69. What’s a bank’s favorite element on the periodic table?
  • 70. How do you compliment a good banker?
  • 71. Why did the banker start a band?
  • 72. Why did the bank teller carry a flashlight?
  • 73. How do you keep a banker in suspense?
  • 74. Why are bank accounts like comedy shows?
  • 75. What did the bank manager say to the new teller?
  • 76. Why did the bank love hiring bees?
  • 77. Why don’t comedians become bankers?
  • 78. What’s a bank teller’s favorite type of party?
  • 79. Why did the bank close early?
  • 80. Why did the bank go on a diet?

1. Why do banks always say “You’re in good hands”?

Because they don’t want to admit they’re keeping an eye on your wallet.

2. Why did the banker break up with his girlfriend?

He lost interest.

3. Why did the bank hire a detective?

To improve their interest rates.

4. What’s a banker’s favorite type of exercise?

Running a tight savings ship!

5. Why was the math book sad at the bank?

It had too many problems.

6. What do you call a banker who’s great with time management?

A loan shark.

7. Why did the bank teller cross the road?

To consolidate the chicken‘s bills.

8. Why did the scarecrow become a banker?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

9. What’s a banker’s favorite kind of music?

Reconciled statements.

10. Why are banks so bad at relationships?

They can’t stop checking other accounts.

11. Where do veggies go to get their money?

A salad bar.

12. Why didn’t the sun go to university?

Because it already had a million degrees.

13. What do you call a banker who can sing?

A loan mender.

14. Why do bankers make awful comedians?

Their jokes have no interest.

15. What’s the bank’s favorite TV show?

Breaking Bank.

16. Why don’t fictional characters get bank loans?

Because their stories don’t add up.

17. How does the moon get money from the bank?

It moonwalks to the ATM.

18. Why don’t bankers work from home?

Because they might lose interest in their home equity.

19. What did the banker say to the printer?

Stop the press; I need more checks!

20. Why don’t banks ever lose their cool?

They have vaults of patience.

21. Why are goldfish so good at banking?

Because they know how to swim in capital.

22. Why did the frog take out a loan?

He wanted to make a bigger leap.

23. Why did the chairman fall asleep?

Because he was board.

24. What do you call a long line in front of a bank?

A teller’s tale.

25. Why was the dollar bill always in therapy?

It had some serious folding issues.

26. What’s a banker’s favorite game?

Safe-cracker.

27. Why did the bank robber take a bath?

To make a clean getaway.

28. Why did the banker get promoted?

Because he had interest-ing ideas.

29. How did the bank find out about the counterfeit money?

They noticed the bills were a bit funny.

30. Why do banks like math so much?

Because it adds up to a lot of interest.

31. What do you call a group of musical bankers?

A band account.

32. How do bank tellers stay fit?

They do balance checks.

33. What’s a banker’s best friend?

A teller-gram.

34. Why do banks never lose at poker?

They always have backing.

35. What’s a banker’s least favorite vegetable?

Spill-igula.

36. How did the banker get rich so easily?

He was good at checking the right boxes.

37. What did the bank do after a robbery?

They regrouped and counted their blessings.

38. Why did the bank’s cat always win at hide and seek?

Because he found all the hidden stash.

39. What is the banker’s favorite hunting season?

Interest season.

40. Why do banks love fitness programs?

Because they keep their clients in good balance.

41. How does the bank keep its windows clean?

With strong interest in cleanliness.

42. What’s a banker’s favorite holiday?

Savings Time.

43. Why do banks never crash?

Because they always have a bailout plan.

44. How do banks greet each other?

“Checking in on you!”

45. Why did the banker wear sunglasses?

Because his future was too bright.

46. What’s a banker’s favorite tree?

A “Cheque”-tree.

47. Why are banks so good with secrets?

Because they have too many vaults.

48. How do you know when the bank is cleaning?

You see the teller dusting off the savings.

49. Why did the bank teller go skydiving?

Because they wanted to balance the thrill.

50. What’s a banker’s favorite candy?

Payday.

51. Why did the bank install an elevator?

To improve vertical cash flow.

52. How do banks say goodbye?

“See you interest-er!”

53. Why did the bank refuse a loan to the musician?

He had too many notes already.

54. Why do banks write so many letters?

Because they love to compound interest.

55. What did the penny say to the dollar?

You make more cents than I do.

56. Why did the banker go to therapy?

To discuss his balancing act.

57. How are banks like book clubs?

Both love a good balance sheet.

58. What’s a banker’s favorite type of weather?

A strong deposit of dew.

59. Why do banks always have strong doors?

To keep their security “interest”-ing.

60. Why did the banker bring a ladder to work?

To reach new heights in savings.

61. What do you call a dolphin who works at a bank?

A loan fin-ancier.

62. Why did the banker have no friends?

He was too calculated.

63. What’s a bank’s favorite tool?

A balance.

64. Why did the banker enroll in art class?

To learn how to draw interest.

65. What did the bank teller name their baby?

Penny.

66. Why do bank tellers always look both ways before crossing the road?

To see if there are any transactions.

67. Why did the ATM break down?

It went through a withdrawal phase.

68. Why did the banker stay at work overnight?

To see interest rise.

69. What’s a bank’s favorite element on the periodic table?

Cu (See You) at the Bank.

70. How do you compliment a good banker?

You say they have a lot of interest-ing qualities.

71. Why did the banker start a band?

He had great dividend harmonies.

72. Why did the bank teller carry a flashlight?

In case they needed to find assets in the dark.

73. How do you keep a banker in suspense?

Tell them you’ll deposit the punchline later.

74. Why are bank accounts like comedy shows?

They both need balance to work.

75. What did the bank manager say to the new teller?

Welcome to the vault of possibilities.

76. Why did the bank love hiring bees?

Because they’re great at buzzing about busy work.

77. Why don’t comedians become bankers?

Because their jokes aren’t cashing in.

78. What’s a bank teller’s favorite type of party?

A deposit party.

79. Why did the bank close early?

Because it couldn’t handle any more deposits.

80. Why did the bank go on a diet?

To cut down on its overhead accounts.

The best bank jokes worth investing in!

Hopefully, these bank jokes cracked you up and added a bit of humor to your day. From punchlines that save your mood to one-liners that invest in joy, laughter truly is priceless. We invite you to share these jokes with friends, family, or even on your social media channels. Spread the cheer and come back often—you’ll find that our jokes are always gaining interest! Bookmark our site, JokeandPun.com, and deposit more fun and laughter into everyone’s day.

Disclaimer: The jokes and puns featured on this website are intended for entertainment purposes only. While we may include content from the public domain, we also hold copyright to the original material we’ve created. If you believe that any content on this website infringes upon your copyright, please contact us immediately. We take copyright infringement seriously and will take appropriate action. While we strive for accuracy, we cannot guarantee the absolute correctness or completeness of all information presented here. Reader discretion is advised. Enjoy the laughs!
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Charlie Thompson
Dr. Charlie Thompson
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Dr. Charlie Thompson holds a PhD in Entertainment Studies and is known for his razor-sharp wit and impeccable timing. With over a decade of experience, Dr. Bennett has become a distinguished behind-the-scenes comedian writer and humorist, penning countless jokes, sketches, and stand-up routines that have delighted audiences worldwide. Renowned for his ability to find humor in everyday life, Dr. Thompson brings a unique perspective to his writing, blending observational comedy with a touch of absurdity. His expertise extends beyond the written word, as he serves as the secret weapon behind many famous comedians by providing them with top-notch material that consistently keeps the laughter rolling.

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