Did you know that the nautical miles you cross on the sea could also be filled with nautical smiles? Those who serve in the navy and maritime enthusiasts in general often develop a unique sense of humor, ribbed with maritime wit and peppered with sea-bizarre puns.
This collection of hilarious, clean, and snappy jokes is dedicated to everyone who loves some good “blue” jokes. Whether you’re a sailor or a landlubber, these witty one-liners are guaranteed to make your sides split faster than a torpedo through water!
The following jokes are rife with seafaring wit and humor perfect for any occasion. Ideal for breaking the ice at gatherings or simply raising your spirits on a mundane day, each joke hits harder than a wave against the bow. So batten down the hatches and prepare to laugh!
Table of the Best Blue Jokes
1. Why did the blue film get arrested?
Because it was too horny.
2. How do sailors communicate over long distances?
With sea-mails!
3. Why did the seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a bay-gull!
4. What do you call a lazy sailor?
Shipless.
5. Why don’t fish do well in school?
Because they’re always swimming against the current.
6. What kind of music do fishing boats like?
Something catchy.
7. Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they just arrrr!
8. What’s a sailor’s favorite part of a song?
The hook.
9. How do you find a pirate on Instagram?
You follow the ship-tag!
10. What do you get if you cross a pirate with a cactus?
A prickle!
11. Why did the submarine blush?
It saw the ocean’s bottom.
12. What do you call a blue whale that’s lost its way?
A lost whale-come!
13. Why don’t ships ever be good at basketball?
Because they’re always traveling.
14. How do mollusks get around the sea?
On muscle power.
15. Why did the blue bird cross the road?
To get to the other side, blue!
16. What’s a sailor’s least favorite candy?
Saltwater taffy.
17. Why did the whale cross the road?
To get to the other tide.
18. What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?
The plank.
19. Why did the diver sleep at the bottom of the ocean?
He needed some deep rest.
20. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish?
A swordfish.
21. What does a ship do when it gets sick?
It goes to the dock.
22. Why do sailors make bad gardeners?
Because they only know three letters: ‘R’, ‘N’, and ‘R’.
23. What do you call a ship that can tell the future?
A clairvoyant.
24. Why was the ocean embarrassed?
It had too many waves.
25. What’s a sailor’s favorite dessert?
Rum cake.
26. Why did the sea monster eat five ships?
Because it was a little ship-ish.
27. How does a pirate get a ship for free?
He takes it for sail.
28. Why do pirates wear eye patches?
Because they can’t sea!
29. What do you call a sea monster who loves to fish?
A fishing chiller.
30. What do sailors do on their day off?
They go with the flow.
31. Why don’t pirates use smartphones?
Because they prefer roving networks.
32. How do ships figure out who gets to go first?
They play rock, paper, anchor.
33. How does a captain keep in touch with his long-lost brother?
Via letter-c!
34. Why did the blue lobster cross the road at night?
To visit his shell-ter.
35. What’s a pirate’s favorite country?
Arrrgentina!
36. Why do sailors never leave their jobs?
Because they find it quite anchoring.
37. What do you call a whale with bad manners?
A blubbering fool.
38. Why did the sailor go to school?
To improve his sea-average.
39. What does a sailor say when someone steps on their foot?
“Ocean!”
40. What’s a pirate’s least favorite element?
Arrr-gon.
41. Why was the sailor’s boat always clean?
Because it had a boat-swain.
42. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An inves-tigator.
43. Why did the car crash?
Because it was feeling blue.
44. What do you call a blue man who loves to sing?
A blues man!
45. Why did the mermaid go to math class?
To work on her alg-ebras.
46. What’s a fish’s favorite instrument?
A bass guitar.
47. How do pirates prefer to communicate?
Eye to eye.
48. What do you call a blue penguin?
A bluebird!
49. What do you call seagulls that live near the bay?
Bagels.
50. What do you call a blue elephant?
A blue-print!
51. Why did the blue moon get arrested?
He was caught moonlighting.
52. What did the sailor say to the octopus?
“So long, sucker!”
53. Why did the seaweed refuse to play cards?
It was too much of a kelp-tic.
54. What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
Most say it’s “R,” but it’s really the “C.”
55. What do you call a pirate that skips class?
Captain Hookey.
Set sail on more laughter: share and bookmark for endless giggles!
Thank you for stepping aboard this ship of laughter and exploring these amusing blue jokes. The fun doesn’t have to end here! Engage with more hilarious content, share these nautical quips with fellow humor enthusiasts, and bookmark jokeandpun.com for a treasure trove of laughs. From sea to shining sea, keep spreading the joy and revel in the waves of laughter.
