There’s something deliciously satirical about British humor, especially when it’s laughing in the pinstriped face of politics. Tighten your ties and button up your red blazers in anticipation for this rollicking, uproarious collection of British humor jokes about politicians.
An eccentric romp of wit, these punchlines poke fun at Parliament and razz the MPs to the hilt, with the infamous stiff upper lip undeniably twitching into a grin by the end.
Table of the Best British Humor Jokes
1. Why did the politician bring a step ladder to the meeting?
He heard the public opinion was on the rise and he didn’t want to miss a beat!
2. How many MPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to immediately claim it was their idea.
3. How does a British politician act during a thunderstorm?
Doesn’t bother. If he can’t control it or tax it, he ignores it!
4. Why don’t politicians ever play cricket?
It’s the only game where you can’t twist the rules to your advantage.
5. What’s the difference between a British politician and an opera diva?
At least the diva knows when she’s performing.
6. Why was the politician bad at gardening?
Everything they touched just wilted under scrutiny.
7. What does a politician say at a football match?
“Goodness me, the opposition sure can’t kick goals like we can.”
8. What is a politician’s favorite piece of playground equipment?
The seesaw – so they can keep pushing their friends down.
9. How do politicians make their tea?
Steeped in lies and mixed with a spoonful of scandal!
10. What’s a politician’s least favorite game?
Truth or dare; they’re terrible at both.
11. Why did the politician wear red socks?
He wanted his feet to lean a little more to the left.
12. What do politicians and wizards have in common?
A talent for conjuring illusions.
13. Why did the politician take up painting?
Because he couldn’t sketch a solid plan otherwise.
14. What do you get if you cross a politician with a postbox?
A talking pillar of ‘neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night’ excuses.
15. Why did the politician visit the biscuit factory?
He heard there were plenty of dough to knead and wanted in on it!
16. What’s an MP’s favorite dance move?
The policy slide – one step forward, two steps back.
17. Why did the politician buy a boat?
So he could skilfully navigate any watered-down bills.
18. What’s an MP’s favorite song lyric?
“Money, money, money, must be funny, in the rich man’s world.”
19. What’s the politician’s favorite animal?
The weasel, because it resembles his charm and reliability.
20. Why do politicians always carry paperclips?
So they can hold onto their policies when they flip-flop.
21. Why did the politician train to become a juggler?
To keep all his false promises up in the air!
22. How do MPs say goodbye?
“Let’s not do lunch sometime.”
23. Why are politicians like nappies?
They should be changed often, and for the same reason!
24. Why did the politician steal a calendar?
He wanted to get as many dates as possible.
25. Why did the politician join a music band?
He heard they were great at covering up!
26. What does a nut and a politician have in common?
Both can be cracked under pressure, the result is hilarious in both cases!
27. Why did the politician go to the bakery?
To get a slice of the pie, of course!
28. Why were the politician’s shoes always shiny?
He had plenty of polishers at his beck and call!
29. What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
The letter ‘F’.
30. Why did the politician bring a stopwatch to the debate?
He knew timing is crucial when you are avoiding answering questions!
Until Next Time, Keep the Giggles Grounded in Great Britain!
The hilarity doesn’t need to end at number 30! Don’t let the tight-lipped British humor slip through your fingers. Share the love of laughter with your friends and bookmark our site for countless more comedic moments.
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