If you’re a music lover who spends more time on the road than in your own bed, you’re in for a treat! Touring is not only about electrifying performances and meeting your musical idols, but also about the crazy moments and cheerful camaraderie along the way.
Did you know that the largest concert tour attendance recorded was by the Rolling Stones during their A Bigger Bang Tour in 2005-2007, attracting over 4.5 million fans?
As you strap in for your next epic journey, prepare to have your spirits lifted with these hilarious concert tour jokes, sure to keep the good vibes rolling mile after mile.
Table of the Funniest Concert Tour Jokes
1. Why did the musician break up with his GPS?
Because she kept telling him to take the “next exit”!
2. What’s a rock band’s favorite road snack?
Chips and shreddy salsa.
3. How do you recognize a drummer at your concert?
They’re the ones deciding if the stool folds or not.
4. Why did the guitarist get locked out of the venue?
He forgot the key change.
5. What do you call an alligator in a vest during a tour?
An in-vest-i-gator roadie.
6. Why was the singer always calm during a storm?
Because she knew how to weather a high note.
7. How do roadies communicate silently?
They use drumsticks for sign language.
8. What’s a touring band’s least favorite type of car?
A flat-bed truck.
9. Why couldn’t the bass player enter the club?
He couldn’t find the bass-line.
10. What’s a singer’s favorite mode of transportation?
A harmony-bus.
11. Why did the keyboardist get extra luggage?
For all the keys he has to transport.
12. What do you call a disobedient trailer?
A rebel without a cause.
13. How do you tell apart different stringed instruments on the road?
By their fret-ernities.
14. Why do bands make great detectives?
Because they always find the right chord of the mystery.
15. Why did the tour manager become a gardener?
He wanted to watch the band members turnip for gigs.
16. What did the tour bus driver say during bad weather?
“It’s always rain, hail, or tour.”
17. Why don’t bands ever get lost?
They always follow their set lists.
18. How did the musician learn to be punctual?
By getting a backstage pass for time.
19. What happens when the saxophonist takes the wrong turn?
He plays by ear and finds a new path.
20. Why don’t touring musicians play cards?
They don’t want to deal with the drama (or the deck).
21. Why did the violin join the band?
To string along the vibes.
22. Why couldn’t the band perform during the fog?
Because they couldn’t de-mist the audience.
23. What did the percussionist call his suitcase?
The snare case.
24. How does an orchestra tour bus keep time?
With a sym-phony.
25. Why did the band leader go to school?
For some note-worthy education.
26. What’s faster than a speeding guitarist?
His solo career!
27. How do you make a musician’s tour better?
Just add a pinch of harmony salt.
28. Why was the tour bus always clean?
The drummer liked a good cymbal crash.
29. How does a band stay cool on the road?
They travel with their own fans.
30. What’s a keyboardist’s favorite country to tour?
Keyboardia.
31. Why didn’t the trumpet get to tour?
It refused to blow its own horn.
32. What do you call a touring band with phones?
Mobile tones.
33. What’s a rock star’s morning ritual?
Java and jamming.
34. How does the guitarist handle traffic jams?
With fret-lessness.
35. Why was the singer always first to the hotel?
She had perfect tempo.
36. What do bands call their tour schedules?
Encore plan.
37. How do musicians stay organized on tour?
With set notes.
38. What do you get when a band fights over a van seat?
A bruised key.
39. Why didn’t the lead singer cross the road?
To avoid a flat performance.
40. What do you call an envious drummer?
Green-sticks.
41. What’s a bassist’s favorite vegetable?
Beet-root.
42. Why did the instruments get in trouble?
They were caught in a jam.
43. Why was the cymbal so loud in the morning?
It was the symbol of a great day.
44. What did the tour manifest become famous for?
Going platinum.
45. Why did the band members start gardening while on tour?
To root themselves.
46. Why was the musical tour like a sitcom?
Because it had a lot of re-tours.
47. Why did the band avoid playing at the pizza place?
Too much slicing and jamming.
48. What did the band say when they found cheap hotels?
“Score!”
49. Why did the bus driver play the piano poorly?
Because he was used to keys, just not those ones.
50. How do you know a guitarist is driving you?
You can hear them string along the entire way.
51. What did Taylor Swift say to her fans during her Eras Tour?
I’m so happy to be here, it’s a Swiftacular experience!
52. Whose concert tour ends the fastest?
Share the laughter while you rock on!
We’ve presented this list of concert tour jokes to keep your tour experiences lively and full of giggles. If you enjoyed these quips and puns, let the laughter be contagious: share this article with fellow music lovers and bookmark our website for more humor-filled content. Because much like a great song, a hearty laugh is best when shared. Safe travels and happy jamming!
