Welcome to the hilariously awkward world of extramarital affairs jokes. We all know laughter is the best medicine, and sometimes poking fun at life’s more controversial aspects can make them a tad more bearable.
Did you know that studies suggest that men are more likely to cheat in the afternoon, while women tend to cheat in the evening! This odd timing trend has been linked to daily routines, work schedules, and the pursuit of excitement during different parts of the day.
That said, enjoy these clever quips, perfectly crafted to make you chuckle, roll your eyes, or maybe even facepalm. Some might hit close to home, but that’s what makes them all the more relatable. Ready for some laughs? Dive in!
Table of the Best Extramarital Affairs Jokes
1. Why did the adulterer bring a ladder to the bedroom?
To reach new heights in deception.
2. What do you call it when both spouses are unfaithful?
A tie game!
3. Why did the married couple decide to play checkers instead?
They thought chess had too many affairs.
4. Why do cheaters love math?
Because they’re so good at dividing their attention.
5. What’s a cheater’s favorite holiday?
April Fool’s Day, because who can you trust?
6. Why did the adulterous coffee drinker feel jittery?
Too many side cups.
7. Why was the cheater always calm during arguments?
Because they had a side piece of mind.
8. Why don’t cheaters write novels?
So they don’t have to worry about plot holes.
9. What do you call an affair among astronauts?
Space Invaders.
10. Why are cheaters bad at video games?
They’re always getting caught in the act.
11. What’s a cheater’s favorite game?
Hide and seek.
12. What do you get if you cross an adulterer with a dentist?
Someone who enjoys two-timing.
13. What did the cheater say to their partner at dinner?
“Pass the lies, please.”
14. Why are affairs like bad parking spots?
They’re always taken.
15. What’s a cheater’s favorite type of music?
Country, because it’s all about leaving someone behind.
16. Why do cheaters love horror movies?
They identify with the characters living double lives.
17. Why did the adulterer bring two phones to date night?
For double the trouble.
18. What’s the best way to catch a cheater?
Install some spyware, ’cause honesty doesn’t apply!
19. What’s an adulterer’s favorite subject?
Chemistry… too much chemistry.
20. Why was the unfaithful spouse always late?
They couldn’t decide which excuse to use.
21. Why did the cheater get a job at a fast-food restaurant?
They were used to quickies.
22. What’s the difference between loyalty and fidelity?
A good internet connection.
23. What did the unfaithful spouse’s partner say?
“We need to talk… about your habits.”
24. Why did the baker have an affair?
They kneaded a different kind of dough.
25. Why do cheaters prefer dark chocolate?
Because it hides secrets better.
26. How do cheaters juggle everything?
With very careful balancing acts.
27. Why did the cheating spouse love math?
They were good at covering their tracks.
28. What’s an adulterer’s favorite mode of transport?
The back seat.
29. Why do cheaters have horrible memories?
They can’t keep track of all their stories.
30. Why did the cheater break up with their alarm clock?
Too many wake-up calls.
31. What’s the cheater’s favorite island?
Deceit Island.
32. Why do unfaithful spouses hate gardening?
Because they’re tired of getting caught digging holes.
33. Why are affairs like magic tricks?
They only work if no one sees how it’s done.
34. What’s a cheater’s favorite TV show?
Friends with Benefits.
35. Why did the cheating spouse get a job in construction?
They were experts at laying down cover stories.
36. What’s a cheater’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Double trouble.
37. Why do unfaithful partners love roller coasters?
For the thrill of the secret rides.
38. What’s the favorite fruit of an adulterer?
Forbidden apple.
39. Why don’t cheaters shop at one store?
They prefer checking out multiple options.
40. Why are affairs like secret sauces?
Kept hidden but too saucy to resist.
41. How did the cheating spouse become a great dancer?
By learning all the right steps and sidesteps.
42. What’s a cheater’s favorite social media app?
Snapchat—perfect for disappearing messages.
43. Why did the cheater start doing stand-up comedy?
To master the art of storytelling.
44. What’s the cheater’s favorite type of drama?
Soap operas, obviously.
45. What do you call a cheater with amnesia?
An honest person, momentarily.
46. Why do unfaithful partners like sketching?
To draw themselves a new line of alibis.
47. What’s a cheater’s exercise routine?
Jumping to conclusions and dodging questions.
48. Why did the unfaithful partner get a telescope?
To keep an eye on both sides of the moon.
49. Why did the adulterer become a locksmith?
To manage all the locked secrets.
50. What’s a cheater’s favorite pastime online?
Incognito mode.
51. Why can’t cheaters play Monopoly?
Too many get-out-of-jail-free cards used.
52. What’s the unfaithful spouse’s favorite drink?
Whiskey, because it matches their spirit.
53. Why does the cheater love spring?
Because everything is blossoming—including lies.
54. Why did the cheater hate camping?
Too many tents (tenses).
55. What’s a cheater’s favorite movie genre?
Spy thrillers for the double roles.
56. Why don’t unfaithful spouses play poker?
Afraid of being caught with a full house.
57. What’s the cheater’s top search phrase?
“Private browsing.”
58. Why did the adulterer take up knitting?
To weave more intricate deceptions.
59. What’s an unfaithful partner’s workout plan?
Running out of excuses.
60. Why are affairs like mysteries?
They unravel slowly.
61. What’s a cheater’s #1 rule?
Deny, deny, deny.
62. Why did the cheater go to the library?
To check out other sources.
63. Why do cheaters avoid reading books?
They prefer flip pages.
64. Why don’t cheaters write poetry?
They’re bad at remembering lines.
65. What do unfaithful spouses and magicians have in common?
They’re both good at making things disappear.
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