Are you feeling lucky and in need of a laugh? Well, step right up and prepare to tickle your funny bone. Gambling has long been a pastime full of highs, lows, and, you guessed it, wild and witty humor.
Did you know that the oldest casino still in operation, Casino di Venezia in Italy, first opened its doors in 1638? With history that deep, it’s no wonder that gambling is ripe for some hilarious commentary.
Below are the gambling jokes that will surely have you hitting the jackpot of laughter. Whether you’re a seasoned card shark or just someone who enjoys an occasional punt, these jokes are crafted to entertain. So stack your chips, pull up your chair, and let’s deal out some laughs.
Table of the Funniest Gambling Jokes
The dealer’s deck of delight
These gambling jokes will give you a full hand of humor, ready to put a smile on your face quicker than a lucky streak. With dealers often being the center of the casino floor action, these one-liners are the perfect tribute to their skill and flair.
1. Why don’t gamblers ever take baths?
They’re afraid of washing up!
2. What do you call a poker game with veggies?
Peas and carrots!
3. Where do gamblers go to retire?
The chip end of town!
4. How do you make a gambler’s eyes twinkle?
Shine a flashlight in their ear!
5. Why did the gambler switch to poker after failing math?
Because he heard he had to deal!
6. What’s a dealer’s favorite type of comedy?
Stand-up and double-down!
7. Why do dealers never get bored?
They’re always in play!
8. What did the dealer say to the deck of cards?
I’m your biggest fan!
9. Why did the dealer stay at the table all night?
He couldn’t leave a-‘lone’!
10. Why was the dealer calm during the fire alarm?
They’re used to handling panic.
High stakes and high laughs
In the high-stakes world of gambling, tension can rise quicker than the pot at a table. But when it comes to these puns, they are sure to take the pressure off and deliver a good chuckle.
11. What do you call a group of singing gamblers?
Annie Up and the Poker Faces!
12. Why was the gambler always in a good mood?
He had a positive bet-itude!
13. What do you call a poker player who loses their cool?
A hot hand, cold shoulder!
14. How do poker players keep cool?
With a winning fan deck!
15. Why don’t gamblers play hide and seek?
They can always find someone who’s bluffing.
16. How did the gambler win an art contest?
He had the best poker ‘face’!
17. What did the successful gambler say to his bank account?
You’re a real winner!
18. Why don’t gamblers use computers?
They fear the odds are against them!
19. How do you cheer up a sad gambler?
Give them some props!
20. Why couldn’t the number six win at poker?
It didn’t stand a chance against seven!
Slot machines and laughter
Slot machines are a staple of any casino, and their colorful lights and enticing spins can also provide some comedic inspiration. Laugh along with these clever takes on the slot-pulling experience.
21. What do you call a slot machine that loves nature?
A green jackpot!
22. Why did the slot machine go to school?
It wanted to learn some tricks!
23. How do you fix a broken slot machine?
With a little luck and a bit of wheel work!
24. Why was the slot machine always invited to parties?
It was a regular cash ‘splicer’!
25. What do slot machines do when they’re hungry?
Have a coin snack!
26. How does a slot machine greet you?
“It’s in the spin!”
27. What song do slot machines love?
Spin me right round!
28. Why was the slot machine a great musician?
It never missed a beat!
29. How do slot machines compliment each other?
“You’re on a winning streak!”
30. Why did the slot machine feel inspired?
It had a reel revelation!
Card conundrums worth the gamble
Much like the games of skill and chance played with a deck of 52, these gambling jokes offer a perfect shuffle of wit and humor to entertain anyone familiar with the card-playing world.
31. What’s a card player’s favorite leisure activity?
Going ‘all in’clusive!
32. How did the card player get into shape?
Shuffling back and forth!
33. What did the ace say to the king?
You’re a real heartbreaker!
34. Why do card players never play Go Fish?
They don’t want to reel disappointment.
35. What’s a card player’s favorite drink?
A royal flush of water!
36. How do you know card players are funny?
They always have the best quips!
37. What’s the card player’s favorite vegetable?
‘Deal’-ta root!
38. Why don’t card players get lost?
They know all the right ‘turns’!
39. What was the card player’s New Year resolution?
To stop bluffing themselves!
40. Why couldn’t the magician play cards?
Because he kept disappearing the deck!
Betting on laughter
In the exhilarating world of bets and bluffs, humor is a sure thing. So place your bets on a few more laughs with this collection of smart and funny gambling-related lines.
41. Why do gamblers make bad gardeners?
They only like to raise the stakes!
42. What do you call a gambler’s luxury car?
A Rolls Milly!
43. How does a gambler’s dog earn its keep?
By betting a bone or two!
44. What do you call it when a gambler wins a car race?
A speeding jackpot!
45. What do gamblers use to keep their secrets?
They lock them in a safe bet!
46. How did the gambler pay his fortune teller?
With a crystal clear bet!
47. What’s a gambler’s favorite type of tool?
The high-stakes drill!
48. How did the gambler fix his glasses?
By doubling on the frames!
49. What’s a gambler’s favorite art style?
Jackpot-secco!
50. Why did the gambler cross the road?
To get a ‘hold ’em’ of a better hand!
Jokers and jesters of the gambling world
Finishing strong, these final gambling jokes involve some whimsical wordplay surrounding jokers and jesters, those merry pranksters that always have a trick up their sleeves.
51. Why did the joker get promoted?
He dealt everyone laughs!
52. What do jokers never do?
Take things too ‘seriously’!
53. How do jokers tell fortunes?
They take a wild guess!
54. Why was the joker confident?
Because he was the ace of all trades!
55. Why couldn’t the joker play basketball?
He had no past ‘court’ experience!
56. What do the joker’s shoes say?
Always leave them laughing!
57. How do you spot a great joker?
By their wild tales!
58. What’s a joker’s favorite fruit?
Wild bananas!
59. How do jokers stay organized?
With a card-catalogue!
60. What’s a joker’s go-to joke?
A wild card laugh!
Jokers and jesters of the gambling world
Finishing strong, these final gambling jokes involve some whimsical wordplay surrounding jokers and jesters, those merry pranksters that always have a trick up their sleeves.
61. Why did the gambler become a comedian?
Because he knew how to “deal” with laughter!
62. What do you call a gambling dog?
A high roller with a bone to pick!
63. Why did the gambler bring a ladder to the casino?
He heard the stakes were high!
64. How does a gambler calm down after losing?
They go for a deck walk.
65. Why don’t gamblers write novels?
They can’t handle too many drafts!
66. How does a gambler like their coffee?
Double or nothing!
67. What’s a gambler’s favorite fruit?
Blackjack-berries!
68. Why did the gambler bring a notebook to the casino?
He wanted to jot down his chips and dips!
69. What do you call a magician at the casino?
A card-shark in disguise!
70. Why don’t gamblers like flying?
Too much turbulence when they’re used to smooth shuffles.
71. How do you make a gambler stop talking?
Tell them to fold!
72. Why did the gambler bring a flashlight to poker night?
To shed some light on his bluffs!
73. What’s a gambler’s favorite type of art?
Impressionist… because it leaves a mark!
74. Why don’t gamblers make good chefs?
They’re always folding too soon.
75. What did the dealer say when the chips were down?
Time to raise the stakes!
76. Why did the gambler plant a garden?
To grow his own cash crops.
77. How do you know a gambler is doing well?
Their chips are up, and so is their mood!
78. What’s a gambler’s favorite way to travel?
Taking the jackpot train!
79. Why did the poker player bring a blanket?
To cover his cold bluff.
80. What’s a gambler’s favorite weather?
When it’s raining chips!
81. Why did the gambling fish avoid the poker table?
It didn’t want to get caught!
82. What do you call a gambler who’s a cat?
A lucky paws player!
83. How do gamblers communicate in secret?
They send coded chips.
84. Why did the gambler refuse to play at the buffet?
Too many rolls without any stakes!
85. Why are gamblers bad at exercising?
They never know when to fold!
86. What’s a gambler’s favorite way to relax?
Rolling in the chips!
87. How do gamblers prefer their steaks?
High!
88. Why did the gambler become a sailor?
He heard there was a lot of bluffing at sea.
89. What do gamblers read at the beach?
“Chips Ahoy!”
90. Why do gamblers hate elevators?
They prefer taking the high road!
91. How do gamblers propose marriage?
With a diamond hand!
92. What’s a gambler’s favorite part of a song?
The high notes.
93. Why did the gambler get a part-time job at the bakery?
To raise some dough!
94. What do gamblers and surfers have in common?
They both love riding the waves!
95. Why don’t gamblers like puzzles?
Too many pieces, not enough aces!
96. How does a gambler make a tough decision?
By flipping a chip!
97. Why do gamblers love breakfast?
They can always bet on eggs being scrambled!
98. What do gamblers do at the gym?
Raise the stakes on their reps!
99. Why did the gambler start a podcast?
To deal out his best bets!
Jackpot of laughs: Share your favorite gambling jokes!
We hope these gambling jokes won big on your laughter scale! As with any good punchline, sharing is caring. If you cracked a smile, share these jokes with your friends, bookmark the website for more humor, and come back whenever you’re in need of a good laugh.
Laughter, much like gambling, is best enjoyed with company—so let’s spread those winning hands-wide smiles!
