If your sense of humor is as hungry as a hay-munching cavy, you’re in the right burrow. Here’s a super fun fact to kick things off: when guinea pigs get excited, they “popcorn” by jumping and twisting in the air. That’s the mood we’re aiming for with this playful parade of Guinea Pig Jokes—snappy, squeaky, and ready for rapid-fire sharing.
Whether you’re a proud pet parent or just love small, squeaky creatures with big personalities, these quips are tuned for maximum delight. They’re perfect for captions, texts, and wheekend banter. If you like your humor snack-sized, don’t miss our short jokes, and if you live for animal-themed wordplay, curl up with our cozy collection of animal puns after you nibble through this page.
Guinea Pig Jokes thrive on puns—chewy, veggie-packed, and crisp as romaine. From wheekend plans to pellet portfolios, we’ve got the squeak-quel to your boredom. Want more pun power after this? Bookmark our roundup of the best puns for easy laughs on demand.
Table of the Funniest Guinea Pig Jokes
1. Why did the guinea pig start a podcast?
To deliver wheekly squeaks straight to your ears.
2. What do you call a guinea pig magician?
A hare-bivore who pulls kale out of hats.
3. Why did the guinea pig open a bakery?
To make pop-corn bread and carrot cake by the slice.
4. How do guinea pigs send secret messages?
In squeakret code.
5. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite holiday?
Wheekend, observed seven days a week.
6. Why did the guinea pig bring a suitcase to the park?
It was going on a pignic.
7. What do you call a stylish guinea pig?
Fur-midable fashion.
8. Why did the guinea pig sit on the clock?
It wanted to be on time for snack o’ squeak.
9. What do guinea pigs say at a buffet?
Lettuce begin.
10. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite movie genre?
Romaines and comedies.
11. How do guinea pigs invest money?
In high-yield pellet portfolios.
12. Why did the guinea pig join the choir?
It had perfect pitch and even better squeal.
13. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite board game?
Chews and Ladders.
14. What do you call a guinea pig detective?
Inspector Squeak.
15. Why don’t guinea pigs tell lies?
Because the cavy-dence always shows.
16. What’s a guinea pig’s dream car?
A HAY-bred.
17. Why was the guinea pig so calm?
It practiced med-hay-tation.
18. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite exercise?
Pop-cornerobics.
19. Why did the guinea pig become a DJ?
It drops the beet.
20. What do guinea pigs call their houses?
Pigloos, sweet pigloos.
21. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite social media?
Insta-gram for snacks.
22. Why did the guinea pig go to school?
To get a veg-ucation.
23. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite classical piece?
Fur Elise, obviously.
24. How do guinea pigs greet each other?
Hay there!
25. Why was the guinea pig an excellent therapist?
It’s great at active squeak-listening.
26. What do you call a guinea pig comedian?
A stand-up squeaker.
27. Why did the guinea pig cross the garden?
To get to the other chive.
28. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite winter sport?
Slaw-lom.
29. Why did the guinea pig bring a notebook?
To take gnaws.
30. What do guinea pigs use to navigate?
Google Munch.
31. Why did the guinea pig refuse dessert?
It’s watching its waist—line of hay.
32. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite instrument?
The nibble flute.
33. Why are guinea pigs such good friends?
They’re paws-itively supportive.
34. What do you call a guinea pig at the beach?
A sand squeaker.
35. Why did the guinea pig start a garden?
To grow its own romaine empire.
36. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite sci-fi show?
Star Chores: The Lettuce Awakens.
37. How do guinea pigs stay organized?
With a squeak planner.
38. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite superhero?
The Green Lantern—because salads.
39. Why did the guinea pig join the band?
It loves the brassy kale-rinet.
40. What do guinea pigs call a great idea?
Guin-genius.
41. Why do guinea pigs make great poets?
They master free-wheek verse.
42. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite weather?
Partly sunny with a chance of pellets.
43. How do guinea pigs apologize?
With humble pie and a lettuce of remorse.
44. What do guinea pigs bring to movie night?
Pop-corn and popcorning.
45. Why was the guinea pig promoted?
It had outstanding cavy-leadership.
46. What’s a guinea pig’s life motto?
Squeak softly and carry a big carrot.
47. Why don’t guinea pigs get lost?
They always follow their in-straw-ctions.
48. What do you call a brave guinea pig?
A boar-dacious hero.
49. Why did the guinea pig open a tech startup?
To disrupt the kale-economy.
50. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite dance?
The Rumba with romaine.
51. How do guinea pigs end a story?
And that’s the tail.
52. What do guinea pigs read in the morning?
The Daily Chews.
53. Why was the guinea pig bad at baseball?
It kept bunting lettuce.
54. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite flavor?
Mint to squeak.
55. How do guinea pigs celebrate birthdays?
With a confetti of parsley.
56. What do you call a guinea pig astronaut?
An astro-nauter.
57. Why was the guinea pig great at math?
It could count by chews.
58. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite type of story?
Nibble-ellas.
59. Why did the guinea pig wear shades?
It had star-kale quality.
60. What do you call a guinea pig who writes letters?
A pen squeak.
61. Why did the guinea pig stay up late?
It was binge-squeaking a series.
62. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite pickup line?
Are you romaine? Because my heart can’t leaf you.
63. How do guinea pigs keep secrets?
Tight-lipped and lettuce say no more.
64. Why did the guinea pig start med school?
To become a cavy-atrician.
65. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite city?
Chew York.
66. Why do guinea pigs love camping?
S’more snacks, less worries.
67. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite unit of time?
A wheek.
68. Why did the guinea pig carry an umbrella?
Forecast called for a drizzle of dressing.
69. What do you call a philosophical guinea pig?
Squeakrates.
70. Why did the guinea pig win the spelling bee?
It nailed every herb.
71. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite RPG class?
Bard, for the squeak solos.
72. How do guinea pigs travel?
On the nibble-way.
73. What do guinea pigs shout at sports games?
Lettuce go!
74. Why was the guinea pig always early?
It hates to miss hay-thing.
75. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite ice cream?
Chunky Chewnilla with carrot swirls.
76. Why did the guinea pig hire a trainer?
For core and snore balance.
77. What do you call a guinea pig’s memoir?
The Squeakret Life of Cavies.
78. Why did the guinea pig join the debate team?
It had unbeatable ar-guinements.
79. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite art style?
Post-im-hay-pressionism.
80. Why did the guinea pig write a code library?
To optimize chew-tput.
81. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite app feature?
Dark kale mode.
82. Why did the guinea pig become a lifeguard?
It protects the veg-pool from snack accidents.
83. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite card game?
Go Fennel.
84. Why did the guinea pig avoid drama?
It prefers calm and chamomile.
85. What do you call guinea pig royalty?
The Duke of Chard.
86. Why did the guinea pig start painting?
To capture still life with celery.
87. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite workout song?
Eye of the Tiger, stomach of the herbivore.
88. Why did the guinea pig love libraries?
Quiet places for squeak reading.
89. What do guinea pigs call their travel blog?
Roam-aines and rambles.
90. Why did the guinea pig become a meteorologist?
To forecast a high chance of hayshine.
91. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite festival?
Kale-entine’s Day.
92. Why did the guinea pig write a will?
To leave no leaf unturned.
93. What do you call a guinea pig with a cold?
A sniffle squeaker.
94. Why did the guinea pig go to the dentist?
For a chew-tine checkup.
95. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite outdoor sport?
Fris-kale.
96. Why did the guinea pig learn karate?
For self de-fence against broccoli thieves.
97. What’s a guinea pig’s favorite kind of joke?
Guinea Pig Jokes that are short and squeet.
98. Why did the guinea pig wink at the camera?
It loves a squeak peek.
Share these Guinea Pig Jokes and keep the wheeks coming
If these Guinea Pig Jokes made you popcorn with joy, pass the giggles along. Share this page with your friends, bookmark jokeandpun.com for your next wheek of chuckles, and drop your favorite punchline in your group chat. Your shares help the squeaks spread, one romaine-fueled laugh at a time.
