Lifeguards are true heroes of the water, always ready to save lives. But did you know they’re also lifeguards of laughter? That’s right! Lifeguards aren’t all about serious, whistle-blowing action. When they’re not practicing rescue techniques or making sure the beach towels are safe, they enjoy making people laugh — often with their own brand of watery humor.
In fact, here’s a super fun fact: lifeguards have been rescuing both lives and laughs for decades. The very first dedicated lifeguard service started in the early 1800s! Who knew life-or-death scenarios could coexist with belly-busting chuckles?
So, whether you’re at the pool, on the beach, or just daydreaming about summer, we’ve rounded up some of the best lifeguard jokes you can dive into whenever you need to stop drowning… in boredom!
Ready to make a splash? Let’s dive into these pun-packed waves of fun!
Table of the Funniest Lifeguard Jokes
1. Why couldn’t the lifeguard break up with the ocean?
Because she needed some space and wasn’t good with waves of emotion.
2. What’s a lifeguard’s favorite game to play at the beach?
Coast Guard and Seek!
3. Why don’t lifeguards tell secrets at the beach?
Because they always feel there’s something fishy going on!
4. What’s a lifeguard’s favorite type of music?
Something catchy with plenty of hooks!
5. How do lifeguards handle tough situations in the water?
By keeping things above board.
6. Why don’t lifeguards ever use elevators?
Because they’re all about taking the high dive!
7. What did the ocean say to the lifeguard?
Nothing, it just waved.
8. How does a lifeguard introduce themselves at a party?
“I’m the one making waves around here!”
9. What’s a lifeguard’s favorite animal?
A seahorse, because they always stick by their side!
10. Why did the kid talk to the lifeguard during recess?
Because he was trying to shore up his confidence.
11. Why don’t lifeguards trust sharks?
Because they’re bad at keeping their jaws shut!
12. What do lifeguards and computers have in common?
They both have good command over the surf!
13. Why did the lifeguard take an art class?
To improve their draw on the water.
14. How do lifeguards stay grounded when they’re not at the beach?
By keeping their feet firmly in dry humor!
15. What’s a lifeguard’s favorite type of sandwich?
A life sub.
16. Why did the lifeguard sit on a pencil?
To draw attention to themselves!
17. How do lifeguards relax on their day off?
They float through their day and drift into a great book.
18. What does a lifeguard call a beach with no people?
A shore thing!
19. What’s a lifeguard’s favorite dip?
Salty ocean salsa with a splash of fun!
20. Why did the lifeguard start a detective agency?
Because they were always good at tracking down currents of suspicion!
21. Why did the dolphin get kicked out of swim class?
It kept diving into lifeguard jokes!
22. Why don’t lifeguards make good astronauts?
Because they can’t leave the ocean behind — it’s too deep for them!
23. What’s a lifeguard’s favorite kind of movie?
Anything that leaves them on the edge of their raft!
24. How does a lifeguard say goodbye?
“Sea you later!”
25. Why was the lifeguard always calm in emergencies?
Because worrying would just cause ripples.
26. Why was the lifeguard so excellent at math?
They knew how to buoy up the numbers!
27. What’s a lifeguard’s favorite holiday?
Thanksgiving, because turkey swims are mandatory!
28. Why do lifeguards love riddles?
Because they like to keep you guessing above the surface!
29. How do lifeguards stay in shape?
By doing plenty of stretch-es!
30. What do you call a lifeguard that loves baking?
A dough-gone good swimmer!
31. How do lifeguards like to end a good shift?
With some well-deserved shore leave.
32. What did one beach say to the other?
“I shore missed you!”
33. Why did the lifeguard take their job at the shallow end?
Because they weren’t ready for deepwater thinking yet.
34. What’s a lifeguard’s least favorite book?
“20,000 Leaks Under the Sea!”
35. How do lifeguards feel about seaweed?
It’s not much of a “catch” in their opinion.
36. Why did the lifesaver date a jellyfish?
Because they found the relationship electrifying!
37. What’s a lifeguard’s all-time favorite television show?
“Baywatch” — naturally, for professional development!
38. Why did the lifeguard never run for president?
They couldn’t handle the waves of responsibility!
39. What do lifeguards eat before working out?
A little buoyant protein to keep them afloat!
40. Why did the ocean break up with the beach?
It was time for a tidal shift in their relationship.
41. How do lifeguards stay humble?
They never take anything for shore.
42. What did one lifeguard say to another after a long day?
“I’m shore proud of you!”
43. Why didn’t the lifeguard fight the octopus?
Because it was arms-down the better swimmer.
44. What’s a lifeguard’s motto?
“Whatever floats your boat!”
45. What kind of phones do lifeguards use?
Ones that can handle a few drop-in waters!
46. Why do lifeguards make great chefs?
Because they always know when something’s about to boil over.
47. What did the lifeguard say when a swimmer asked for help with math homework?
“Sorry, I’m more of a calculator for currents!”
48. Why do lifeguards wear so much sunscreen?
Because burning out isn’t their style!
49. What’s a lifeguard’s favorite dessert?
Watermelon coolers!
50. What do you call a lifeguard who moonlights as a magician?
The “Great Wave-ini”!
51. Why are lifeguards never afraid of sharks?
Because they’re the apex pranksters of the ocean!
52. What did the lifeguard bring to prom?
A boogie board — just in case the night needed saving!
53. Why did the hungry lifeguard bring a lunchbox to the ocean?
They couldn’t sea why not!
54. How do lifeguards stay sharp in winter?
Through wave after wave of puns.
55. What did the lifeguard say to the storm cloud?
“Hey, no raining on my parade!”
56. Why don’t lifeguards sing at the beach?
They don’t want to put anyone in treble!
57. Why did the pool lifeguard hate their job?
They couldn’t take the constant draining!
58. What swim stroke do lifeguards put the most heart into?
CP-Ray!
59. Where do fashionable lifeguards buy their swimsuits?
In tidal fashion outlets!
60. What’s a beach lifeguard’s favorite app?
Waze — they’d be lost without it!
Laugh your way to shore safety!
Hopefully, these lifeguard jokes gave you a proper splash of humor to keep your day buoyant! With just the right blend of wit, sun, and fun, our list is primed to save smiles — whether you’re poolside or beach-bound. So, why not share these watery punchlines with friends? After all, everyone deserves to have a lifeguard on duty in their laughter department.
Bookmark jokeandpun.com for more rib-tickling jokes and puns that’ll keep you afloat in any situation. Sea you soon!
