Who doesn’t love Lionel Messi? The Argentine international has shown us time and again why he’s considered one of the best footballers on the planet. But, in our quest to lighten the mood, let’s take a quirky spin on all the panache and intensity right here. Welcome to a hilarious roll-call of Lionel Messi jokes guaranteed to score big laughs!
Table of the Best Lionel Messi Jokes
1. Why doesn’t Lionel Messi drink tea?
Because his teammate, Luis Suarez, can’t resist dunking the biscuits!
2. What’s Messi’s favorite type of music?
‘Score’ – He just can’t stay away from it!
3. Why does Messi always have ice-cubes in his pocket?
Because he always needs to stay ‘cool’ on the field!
4. How does Lionel Messi cut his lawn?
He just runs around, and the grass cuts out of respect!
5. Why won’t Messi ever get a speeding ticket?
Because he always outruns the police!
6. What’s Messi’s favorite fish?
The ‘goal’ fish of course!
7. Why is Messi’s hair sticky?
Because he likes to keep his goals ‘jelly-side down’!
8. What’s Messi’s favorite action movie?
‘Goal Post’-busters!
9. Why does Messi take an alarm clock to his matches?
Because it’s always ‘time to score’!
10. What’s Messi’s favorite dessert?
‘Score-flakes’ – sweet and satisfying!
11. How does Messi stay fit?
He always does ‘push-overs’ on the field!
12. Why is Messi like a magician?
Because every time he plays, magic happens!
13. How does Lionel Messi make pancakes?
He doesn’t flip them; he dribbles them!
14. Why did Messi go to art school?
To perfect his ‘drawing’ skills on the field!
15. What’s Messi’s favorite instrument?
The ‘score’dion, of course!
16. Why doesn’t Messi use Google?
Because he usually prefers ‘bings’.
17. Why is Lionel Messi bad at Hide-N-Seek?
Because he always stands out!
18. How does Messi like his pizza?
Pepper-goal-ni!
19. Where does Lionel Messi go on holiday?
‘Scor’land!
20. Why should Lionel Messi never participate in a dance competition?
Because he always steals the ‘show’t!
21. What’s Messi’s favorite drink?
‘Goal-a Cola!
22. What’s Messi’s favorite type of cheese?
‘Goal-den Gouda!
23. How do we know Messi is a gentleman?
Because he never shoots without a ‘goal’!
24. What’s Messi’s favorite nursery rhyme?
‘Row, Row, Row your Goal’!
25. What’s the similarity between Messi and a baker?
They both know how to roll the dough!
26. What’s Messi’s favorite movie?
‘Madag-score’!
27. What does Messi write with?
A ‘Ball’pen!
28. What time does Messi go to bed?
When he’s done scoring!
29. Where does Messi get his hair cut?
At the ‘Barberlona’!
The remaining six aren’t just Lionel Messi jokes; they’re golden nuggets of wit!
30. Why does Messi never use elevator music?
He always prefers to take it up a notch!
31. What’s Messi’s favorite dance move?
The ‘Goal’ slide dance!
32. Why is Messi like an iPhone?
Every time he plays, there’s an upgrade!
33. What’s Messi’s favorite pizza topping?
Parme-goal-n!
34. What makes Lionel Messi a good chef?
His immaculate ‘pre-season’ing skills!
35. Why does Messi make a great lawyer?
He always plays by the rules, but bends them like Beckham when required!
Wrapping up these Zingers
That was a hilarious rollercoaster, wasn’t it? Lionel Messi – not only the world’s greatest player but also the punchline of some of the funniest jokes! If you’ve enjoyed this rib-tickling cascade of Lionel Messi jokes, feel free to share them with your friends and brighten their day.
Remember, a good laugh is always worth passing on! Don’t forget to bookmark JokeandPun.com for an unending stream of fun, jokes, and puns! ‘Messi’ng out on our content? I don’t think so!
