There is no denying that Maryland, the state of pleasant living, has its peculiarities. Yes, we’re looking at you, crab-cakes and blue-collared orioles! To honor this quirky state, we have put together a chuckle-some list of Maryland jokes that will tickle your funny bone. Let’s dive right into the laughter.
Table of the Best Maryland Jokes
1. Why did the Marylander bring a pencil to the crab feast?
Because they heard crabs are hard to crack!
2. Why do Marylanders play lacrosse so much?
Because it’s easier than spelling ‘Chesapeake’.
3. How does a Baltimore Oriole compliment its mate?
With a birdy chirp: “Your feathers are looking absolutely Balti-moreish today.”
4. Why go to Annapolis if you are feeling blue?
Because it’s the capital of the blue crab!
5. What’s the Maryland state vegetable?
The crab. Some might argue it’s not a vegetable, but folks here put it in everything!
6. How do Marylanders spice up their conversations?
With a pinch of Old Bay Seasoning!
7. What does a Maryland flag wave at a pirate?
“We have quadrants too, matey!”
8. Why did the crab cross the road in Maryland?
Because it’s faster than the Baltimore traffic!
9. What does a Marylander call a lost saucepan?
A Balti-gone!
10. Why are Marylanders such good hosts?
Because they always have plenty of Baltimore to go around!
11. Why did the Maryland cucumber never leave the state?
It wasn’t ready to become a pickle in a New York deli.
12. What’s the difference between a Marylander’s pet and their favorite meal?
The type of shell the crab is in!
13. Why did the Maryland dog sit on the remote?
Because he wanted to control the Bark-lay Thoroughfare!
14. Why did the crab blush?
Because it saw the Chesapeake Bay seasoning!
15. Why don’t they tell secrets in Maryland cornfields?
Too much corn-on-the-talk!
16. Why do Marylanders love their flag?
Because design-wise, it’s all Marylanded up!
17. Why don’t Marylanders play hide and seek with their crab dish?
Because good luck hiding when your aroma screams Maryland!
18. Why is Baltimore a great place for a bank?
Because it’s filled with Orioles-save-money birds!
19. What do Marylanders add to their lemonade?
A splash of Chesapeake Bay, and it’s Crabsolutely Refreshing!
20. What do you call a Maryland cat swimming in chocolate?
A Baltimore Kit-Kat Bar!
21. What’s the difference between a Maryland fall and a Maryland summer?
Summer is crab season; fall is crab soup season!
22. What makes Maryland’s eastern shore famous?
It is the cradle of cray-sea creatures.
23. Why do Maryland desserts never win at races?
Because they always come in pie-ce last!
24. What happens when a Maryland football team starts baking?
You get the Baltimore Rye-vens!
25. Why do Maryland hamburgers go to school?
Because they want to be cheddar!”
26. How did the Maryland tomato court the Maryland cornstalk?
“I’m a-maize-d by you, darling!’
27. What is Maryland’s favorite breakfast?
The State House of Pancakes, where you can flip over all the bills!
28. Why does Mother Maryland tell her children to eat carrots?
So they can see better on foggy Chesapeake days.
29. What’s Maryland’s most misunderstood delicacy?
Soft-shell crabs – they’re actually tough cookies!
30. What’s Maryland’s preferred type of media?
Radio Annapolis.
31. How does a cow become a Maryland favorite?
When it gets into the moo-d for some crabgrass.
32. What was Maryland’s dessert named in the baking contest?
The Great Baltimore Bake-Off!
33. What did the runner say at the Maryland Marathon?
“I’m Balti-more tired than I thought!”
34. What does a vampire fear the most in Maryland?
Garlic crab soup!
35. Where can you find a Marylander on a Friday night?
In front of the TV, enjoying a crab game!
These Puns Just Got Marylanded! Time to Share the Chuckles
So, that’s our selection of Maryland jokes, straight from the heart of the Old Line State. If you’ve had a hearty laugh or even a simple chuckle, don’t hesitate to share the joy.
Spread these Maryland jokes with your friends and family, or anyone who might need a good rib-tickling. And remember, bookmark our site for a daily dose of humor that keeps the blues, or the crabs, away!
