Hop on board the laughter express as we traverse through the charm of the Bay State with an array of wickedly funny Massachusetts jokes. Illustrated with the state’s landmarks, history, quirks, and well-known stereotypes, these jokes are sure to perpetuate your giggling fit! Who said humor can’t include a little geographical education too?
Table of the Best Massachusetts Jokes
1. How do you know you’re from Massachusetts?
When you believe using your car horn is an essential way of communication!
2. Why do Massachusetts folks pour their beer into a mug?
Because it’s the only way to get a head on a Sam Adams!
3. What’s the most popular tourist attraction in Massachusetts?
A Dunkin’ Donuts store. Can’t get more Bostonian than that!
4. What do you call a cat from Cape Cod?
A purrsimmon!
5. Why did the Bostonian go to study philosophy?
He wanted to know the “idea” behind an “idear”!
6. Why do Massachusetts people make terrible bakers?
They always burn the Boston cream pies!
7. Why did the scarecrow move to Massachusetts?
Because it wanted to be outstanding in its “field”… of dreams?
8. What’s the main difference between Harvard and Yale?
The spelling!
9. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse?
To warn Boston that the clam chowder was too hot!
10. Why do Massachusetts drivers have trouble finding parking?
‘Cause they can’t get past the “Pahk”ing stage!
11. What do you call an ape from Massachusetts?
A Boston gorillier!
12. How do you know spring has arrived in Massachusetts?
The rain gets warmer!
13. What do you get if you cross Paul Revere with a cheetah?
The fastest midnight ride!
14. Why did the ghost relocate to Salem?
He wanted to get in touch with his inner witch!
15. Why was the math book from Cambridge sad?
Because it had too many problems!
16. Why don’t they have ice in Massachusetts’ bars?
Who needs ice when it’s snowing outside!
17. Why was the computer cold in Massachusetts?
It left its Windows open!
18. What happens when you miss a joke about Massachusetts?
You’re wicked “smaht”!
19. What do you call a very small mother from Boston?
Minimum!
20. Why do squirrels swim on their backs in the Charles River?
To stop their nuts from getting wet!
21. Why did the Red Sox fan carry a ladder?
To get over the high walls of Fenway Park!
22. What’s the difference between a Yankee Stadium hotdog and a Fenway Park hotdog?
You can buy a Yankee Stadium hotdog in October!
23. Why did the cookie go to therapy?
Because he felt crummy after leaving Boston without eating a cannoli!
24. Why is it easy to have a catch in Massachusetts?
Because it’s really hard to drop the ball when you’re always wearing mittens!
25. Why are there such hard spelling words in Massachusetts?
With towns like Worcester, Leicester, and Haverhill, you need an A+ in spelling, trust us!
26. What’s Massachusetts’ favorite national holiday?
Patriots’ Day, of course!
27. Why don’t tornadoes hit Big Papi’s house?
They’re scared of Grand Slams!
28. Why are there so many roundabouts in Massachusetts?
Because not even the roads can make up their mind!
29. How do you know a Massachusetts driver’s been in your back yard?
Your dog is pregnant!
30. Why do Bostonians make terrible soccer players?
Because every time they get a corner, they open a Dunkin’ Donuts!
31. Why do ducks fly over Massachusetts upside-down?
Because there’s nothing worth crapping on!
32. What do you call a sophisticated person from Boston?
A rare species!
33. What’s the difference between a Boston Terrier and a bench?
A bench can support a family of four!
34. What do you get when you mix a Texan with a Bostonian?
A cowboy who complains about the weather!
35. Why did the policeman go to the baseball game?
Because he heard someone had stolen a base!
36. Why don’t Massachusetts people play hide and seek?
Because nobody will hide, they all want to seek!
37. Why did the Bay Stater bring a ladder to the bar?
Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
38. How do you make a Boston cocktail?
Mix two parts Sam Adams with one part Dunkin’ Donuts coffee!
39. Why did the Bostonian bring his cat to the game?
He heard the Red Sox were playing catch!
40. How do you know you’re a true Red Sox fan?
You think pinstripes are a fashion faux pas!
41. Why did the Massachusetts resident go broke?
They invested all their money in chowder stocks!
42. What did the cop say to the speeding Massachusetts driver?
“This isn’t the Boston Marathon!”
43. Why is it called Massachusetts?
Because “Massive-two-hits” didn’t have the same ring to it!
44. Why did the Bay Stater bring a ruler to bed?
He wanted to see how long he slept!
45. Why did the Massachusetts lobster get a job?
Because it wanted to shell out some cash!
46. What did the Massachusetts cranberry say to the blueberry?
“You’re berry special to me!”
47. Why did the Paul Revere statue refuse to move?
Because he was tired of galloping around!
48. How do you get a Bostonian to shut up?
Put a Dunkin’ Donuts menu in front of them.
49. What’s a Bostonian’s favorite instrument?
The “pahk”ing meter!
50. What’s it called when the Boston Symphony Orchestra does well?
A well-orchestrated performance!
What’s So Funny, Massachusetts?
These Massachusetts jokes carry the essence of the Bay State in full jest. Well, there you have it – utterly hilarious Massachusetts jokes that are sure to brighten up any Bay Stater’s day and bring a chuckle to anyone who enjoys a good jest. What’s your favorite? And remember, if you enjoyed reading these as much as we enjoyed compiling them, share the joy and let everyone gaze into the humorous world of Massachusetts!
Don’t forget to bookmark our website for more hilarity and join us on our laugh-filled journey across all states! Let the funny bones rattle!
