From jests about St. Louis Arch to rib-ticklers about Missouri weather, everyone loves a good, hearty chuckle. Whether you’re a Missouri local looking for a laugh or someone seeking to explore the humor of the Show-Me State from afar, you’ve stumbled upon a gold mine.
Relax and unwind as we explore hilarious Missouri jokes that will fill your day with joy and laughter.
Table of the Best Missouri Jokes
1. Why did the Missouri cat sit on the computer?
Because it wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
2. What’s Missouri’s favorite dance move?
The Show-Me Shuffle.
3. Why do birds in Missouri fly upside down?
Because there’s nothing worth pooping on!
4. How did the Missouri tornado break up with its girlfriend?
It sent her a “we need to blow this relationship away” text.
5. Why did the tomato turn red in Missouri?
Because it saw the salad dressing. Yes, it’s a Show-Me state!
6. Why was the math book sad in Missouri?
Because it had too many problems – and not just math!
7. Why did the bottle of ketchup blush in Missouri?
It saw the bottle of mustard and realized it wasn’t the spiciest condiment around!
8. What does a clock do when it’s hungry in Missouri?
It goes back four seconds.
9. How do you make a tissue dance in Missouri?
Just put a little boogie in it!
10. What did the red light say to the green light in Branson?
Don’t look, I’m changing!
11. What do you call a pile of kittens in Kansas City?
A meow-tain.
12. Why don’t Secret Service agents carry guns around in St. Louis?
They’re afraid the bullet will go through someone and hit the Arch!
13. Why did the cannibal live in SW Missouri?
He heard there were a lot of meat-and-potato folks!
14. What kind of coffee do Kansas City hipsters drink?
Expresso… spelled wrong just to be different.
15. What do you get if you cross a Missouri cat with a lemon pie?
A sourpuss!
16. Why did the Missouri vampire subscribe to the Kansas City Star?
He heard it had great circulation!
17. How do you know that Bigfoot’s been sighted in St. Louis?
There’s hair in the Gateway Arch!
18. Why don’t Missourians play hide and seek?
Because no one wants to look for them!
19. How did we know the toothbrush was invented in Missouri?
If it was invented anywhere else, it would’ve been a teethbrush!
20. Why don’t basketball players do well in Missouri?
Because every time they get a corner, they open a shop!
21. How do you know it’s Spring in Missouri?
The license plate colors start changing on I-70.
22. How do you describe a Missouri weather forecast?
If you don’t like it, just wait a minute.
23. What’s a Missouri ghost’s favorite ride at Silver Dollar City?
The Scareousel!
24. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician in Missouri?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
25. Why don’t they make ice cubes in St. Louis?
They forgot the recipe!
Yet, we’re not done yet…
Missouri One-Liners
- What vegetable can tie your stomach in knots? A string bean.
- Why did the skeleton refuse to cross the river in Missouri? He didn’t have the guts
- How many Missourians does it take to change a lightbulb? Eight. One to screw in the light bulb, the rest to discuss how the light bulb is totally different to the old one.
- How does Missouri weather speak? It blusters!
- Why did the Missouri fish blush? Because it saw the river’s bottom.
- Why did the bike ride at night in Missouri? It lacked the necessary training wheels for daytime.

- Why did Missouri break up with Kansas? Because they had nothing in common.
- Why did the Missouri farmer plant light bulbs? He wanted a power plant.
- How do you know you’re in Missouri? The humidity makes your hair bigger than a St. Louis Cardinals fan’s foam finger.
- What’s the difference between a Missouri tornado and a Missouri divorce? In a Missouri divorce, somebody’s gonna lose a trailer.
Missouri Jokes to Keep You Chuckling
With these Missouri jokes in your arsenal, you’re now equipped to fill any room with laughter. If you relished these results of clever wit, don’t forget to share the laughter! Tell these jokes to friends, co-workers or family. You might even want to memorize a few to tell at your next party or on your next road trip through Missouri.
Don’t forget to bookmark our website for more humour, and feel free to explore our collection of other hilarious jokes and puns. After all, laughter is the best medicine, even better when shared, and we’re here to provide the dosage!
