Who says money can’t buy happiness? While it might be true that financial wealth isn’t the ultimate key to contentment, a good sense of humor about money sure can unlock a lot of smiles. From penny-pinching puns to high-rolling hilarity, we’ve gathered the funniest money jokes sure to have you laughing all the way to the bank.
Did you know that the first coins were minted around 600 B.C. in Lydia, now modern-day Turkey? That’s a lot of time for people to come up with some great jokes!
So, whether you’re a finance whiz or someone who’s just in it for the laughs, rest assured—this collection will pay off in every way.
Without further ado, let’s dive into some priceless humor!
Table of the Funniest Money Jokes
1. Why did the dollar bill break up with the penny?
It couldn’t make cents of the relationship.
2. Why don’t cows produce money?
Because the stakes are too high!
3. Why did the banker switch careers to music?
He wanted to get more notes.
4. What do you call a rich fish?
A goldfish!
5. Why did the currency cross the road?
To get to the other bank.
6. How do you pay for things in the forest?
With cache!
7. Why did the manager bring a ladder to the bank?
Because the interest rates were climbing.
8. Why are fish never cash-strapped?
They always have a few clams.
9. Why don’t compound interest jokes ever get old?
Because they continuously grow on you.
10. Why did the wallet go to therapy?
It couldn’t handle all its change.
11. How does a pirate make money?
By selling booty!
12. What do you call it when you loan money to a bison?
A buffalo bill.
13. Why are finance books the heaviest?
They have a lot of cents inside.
14. Why did the coin enroll in acting school?
It wanted to become a star!
15. What kind of money do vampires use?
Blood money.
16. Why did the treasury decide to stop making coins?
They figured change was inevitable.
17. Why don’t skeletons accept checks?
They prefer cold, hard cash.
18. Why are money jokes and cows alike?
They’re best when they’re milking the audience.
19. Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems concerning its quick change!
20. Why can’t you borrow money from a pessimist?
They never give good returns.
21. How do rabbits pay for hay?
Using bunny, of course.
22. Why did the fortune teller start gardening?
He had a knack for growing money trees!
23. What do you call a cash-pumping machine addicted to video games?
An ATM-ari.
24. Why was the dollar bill acting so weird?
It had some serious coinfidential issues.
25. What’s a penny’s favorite dance?
The cent to the beat.
26. Where do YouTubers keep their money?
In their PayPal accounts.
27. How did the thief get away?
He cents himself out!
28. Why did the paycheck go to school?
To get interest-ed.
29. What happens if you cross a money tree with a cat?
You get a cash meow-tain.
30. What did the gold say to the other gold?
“Let’s make tons of cents together.”
31. Why don’t jungle animals ever go broke?
They’re great at developing stocks.
32. Why is it great to live near a bank?
Because you can always count on them.
33. What does Santa call his money?
A jingle bill.
34. What tool does a banker use for painting?
An interest brush.
35. Why did the dollar refuse to hang out with the euro?
They didn’t click—too many foreign exchanges.
36. Why was the coin happy?
It felt like it was mint to be.
37. Why don’t people talk about savings accounts more?
They’ve become a bit of a withdrawn subject.
38. What’s a robot’s favorite type of currency?
Crypt-o-coin.
39. Why did the dollar get fired?
It didn’t make the cut.
40. How do penguins pay for things?
With ice cash.
41. Why did the banker dream of oceans?
He was into liquid assets.
42. What did the dollar bill say to the ATM?
“You make me feel like a million bucks!”
43. Why don’t trees borrow money?
They can never leaf well enough alone.
44. What do you get when you cross money with a classic car?
A cash Mustang.
45. How does a coin feel in its last years?
A bit spent.
46. Why did the big money act suspicious?
It had some shady accounts.
47. What happens when you lend money to a bouncy ball?
You get a poor return.
48. Why can’t you trust an atom with money?
They make up everything, even their debt.
49. Why was the piggy bank so trustworthy?
It always used its savings sense.
50. Why don’t money plants grow in hot climates?
They wilted from financial heat.
51. Why did the rich guy bring a pencil to the bank?
To draw some interest!
52. Why did the credit card go to school?
It wanted to learn some balance!
53. Why did the dollar go to therapy?
It was feeling a little spent!
54. How do you double your money instantly?
Fold it in half!
55. What’s the quickest way to make money on the beach?
Start selling sand dollars!
56. Why don’t bank vaults ever go broke?
Because they’re always locked in profits!
57. What do you call a group of musical coins?
A rock and roll band!
58. Why did the gold coin break up with the dollar bill?
It found someone richer!
59. Why was the ATM always confident?
Because it knew it had all the cash!
60. What does a rich squirrel invest in?
Tree stocks!
Share the Money Jokes, Not Your Wealth
Craving more laughs? Make sure to bookmark JokeAndPun.com and share this treasury of humor with friends and family. Laughter, much like wealth, is multiplied when shared. So go ahead, bring some smiles to your social feeds and let everyone in on the fun!
Got a joke that’s even funnier and want to cash in on it? Submit your jokes here and start earning today!
