In the land of high covered bridges, tapping maple trees, and the Old Man of the Mountain, there’s always room for humor. Here to take you on a laughter ride are 35 of the wittiest New Hampshire jokes that will unquestionably tickle your funny bone. Let’s dive into the delightful fun of Granite State rib-tickling humor.
Table of the Best New Hampshire Jokes
1. Why don’t they serve ice in drinks in New Hampshire?
Because the person with the recipe for ice moved to Vermont!
2. How can you tell a New Hampshire native from a tourist?
An outlander pulls over to watch the wildlife. A New Hampshirite speeds up to hit it!
3. Why don’t basketball teams want to play in New Hampshire?
Because every time they get a foul, the crowd shouts, “Ayuh, that’s a wicked bum call right there!”
4. How does a New Hampshireman get ready for a date?
He puts on his performance fleece vest and his best pair of hiking boots!
5. When’s the only time someone from New Hampshire tells a secret?
During moose hunting season, because what happens in the woods, stays in the woods!
6. Why don’t people from New Hampshire trust cats?
Because they’ve been tricked by a mountain lion way too often!
7. What is a New Hampshirite’s definition of a lazy weekend?
Only going hiking twice!
8. Why did the New Hampshire science student become a biologist?
Because he wanted to examine the DNA of a real New Hampshirite. He assumed it contained traces of maple syrup!
9. What do you call a gathering of New Hampshire residents?
A mass of maplers!
10. What’s the definition of optimism in New Hampshire?
A democrat running for governor!
11. Why do ghosts like to haunt New Hampshire?
Because it’s always a “dead” end!
12. Why did Dartmouth stop recycling?
Because it’s a waste of time when there’s nothing but beer cans!
13. What do you call a New Hampshirite who rides a bike?
An environmentalist with a taste for adventure!
14. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing and thought it was New Hampshire summer attire!
15. What do you call a New Hampshire Halloween?
Ghost-tour season!
From hearty laughs to friendly chuckles, we’ve seen a gamut of New Hampshire jokes that encapsulate the indomitable spirit of this beautiful state. The pivotal essence of the Granite State humor resides in the robust charisma of its residents, thriving wildlife, and maple syrup that’s as intense as their love for the state itself.
16. Why did the New Hampshire man stare at the can of orange juice?
Because it said ‘concentrate’!
17. What’s a New Hampshirite’s favorite kind of math?
Add-‘lakes’ and Subtract-‘snow’!
18. Why do New Hampshire residents have TGIF on their shoes?
To remind them, Toes Go In First!
19. Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because in New Hampshire, you can see right through them!
20. Why did Mount Washington get excited?
Because it peaked!
21. How do you know if a New Hampshirite is happy?
He hikes Mount Monadnock twice in a day!
22. Why do birds fly over New Hampshire upside down?
Because there’s nothing worth pooing on!
And so forth, continuing with more New Hampshire jokes up to the 35th one.
Dose Up on Laughter with More New Hampshire Jokes
23. Why did the New Hampshire fisherman bring a pencil to the lake?
To draw in the lines!
24. Why don’t New Hampshirites ever get lost in the woods?
Because they always follow the moose tracks!
25. What did the New Hampshire maple tree say to the lumberjack?
“Leaf me alone!”
26. Why did the New Hampshire farmer become a musician?
Because he was great at picking!
27. How do you know a New Hampshirite loves their car?
When it’s covered in bumper stickers from all the state parks!
28. Why did the moose move to New Hampshire?
Because he heard the hiking trails were moose-ive!
29. What do you call a New Hampshire lobster in a shell contest?
The shell-ebrity!
30. Why don’t New Hampshirites play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding with all those open spaces!
31. Why did the New Hampshire dog sit in the shade?
Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog!
32. How do New Hampshirites stay cool in the summer?
They chill by the lakes and let the icebergs do the rest!
33. Why did the tomato blush in New Hampshire?
Because it saw the farmers market and got a little too ripe!
34. What’s a New Hampshirite’s favorite dessert?
Maple syrup on everything!
35. Why did the skier move to New Hampshire?
Because he wanted to slope into a better life!
Discover More New Hampshire Jokes and Spread the Fun
We hope these New Hampshire jokes kept you entertained, and perhaps you’re now even more eager to share this mirthful journey with others. It’s all about understanding a place and its people, along with their unique humor and quirks!
Remember, laughter is contagious, and these jokes about New Hampshire are the perfect antidote to any gloomy day or for a simple joy. So go on, saturate your social media feeds with these jocular tales of Granite State life. Y
our fellow humor enthusiasts are sure to enjoy these puns, and who knows, you might even start a chain of laughs that reverberates from the North Woods to the Seacoast! Don’t forget to bookmark us for your regular dose of laughter and special pun-ning pleasure. We can’t wait to have you back for more.
