Welcome to this hilarious journey through the heart of the Big Apple, filled with classic New York jokes that will surely tickle your funny bone. Whether you’re a local or a tourist, there’s something here that will make you chuckle, if not outright belly laugh.
From towering skyscrapers to subway misadventures, Broadway bust-ups to hilarious hot dogs, our city’s unique charm and character are ripe for comedy. We’ve gathered 40 of the best NYC humdingers sure to make even the most hardened New Yorker crack a smile.
Table of the Best New York Jokes
01. What’s the State Motto of New York?
According to the residents: ‘Not a Taxi!’
02. What’s the Difference Between a New York Yankee and a Tea Bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer!
03. Where Can You Find a Good Cheap Apartment in New York City?
In the dictionary under ‘N’ for non-existent!
04. How Do New Yorkers Part Their Hair?
How they feel when they wake up — through the middle of the road!
05. Who Are the Finalists for the ‘New Yorker of the Year’ Award?
The last remaining people who haven’t moved to Florida!
06. What’s the Most Common Phrase Used in New York?
“Hey, I’m walkin’ here!”
07. What’s New York’s Favorite Yoga Position?
The taxi hail!
08. Why Does Spider-Man Always Protect New York?
Because the other cities don’t have as many web developers!
09. Why Did the Tomato Turn Red on a New York Tour?
Because it saw the Big Apple!
10. What Do You Call a New Yorker on a Treadmill?
A taxi on a standstill!
11. Why Are New York Subways a Good Place to Study?
You get a lot of ‘stops and starts’!
12. Why Did the Street Musician Move to New York?
He heard it’s a great place to ‘string’ along!
13. How Many New Yorkers Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Ten! One to change the bulb and nine to critique his method!
14. Why Did the New Yorker Bring a Ladder to the Bar?
In case they needed to reach a high note!
15. Why Did the Golfer Bring His Clubs to NYC?
He heard about the hole in one at Times Square!
16. Why Did the New Yorker Dive Into the Hudson?
He wanted to spike the ‘current’ of affairs!
17. Why Are There So Many Sharks in the Waters Off New York?
Because they’re looking for the closest ‘bite’!
18. Why Do New Yorkers Always Carry a Map?
So they don’t accidentally wind up in New Jersey!
19. How do New Yorkers Stay So Fit?
They run on ‘Eastern’ Standard Time!
20. How Do New Yorkers Skip School?
They take the subway!
The next 20 New York jokes also leave no stone unturned in their quest for laughter — keeping up with the city that never sleeps, the fun only accelerates from here!
21. Why Was the Brooklyn Bridge Angry?
Because it couldn’t handle the traffic!
22. What Do You Call a Sleepy New York City Police Officer?
Under arrested!
23. Why Did the Liberty Statue Never Sink?
Because she uses ‘Liberty’ balancing act!
24. Why did the New Yorker sit on the clock?
He wanted to be on time!
25. What do you call a polite New Yorker?
A tourist!
26. Why don’t New Yorkers play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding in a city that never sleeps!
27. Why did the New York baker go broke?
He couldn’t make enough dough!
28. How do you know if someone is a true New Yorker?
They give directions using subway lines, not street names!
29. What’s a New Yorker’s favorite type of dog?
A hot dog from a street vendor!
30. Why did the pigeon refuse to fly over Times Square?
Too much competition for air space!
31. Why did the musician bring a suitcase to Central Park?
Because he wanted to pack the crowds!
32. How do New Yorkers apologize?
By saying, “Sorry for bumping into you, but you were in my way!”
33. Why did the New Yorker refuse to leave the city?
Because anywhere else felt like upstate!
34. What’s a New Yorker’s favorite way to relax?
Complaining about how busy they are!
35. Why do New Yorkers love winter?
It’s the only time they can see through the taxi windows!
36. What do you call a New Yorker in Los Angeles?
Lost!
37. Why did the apple stop in New York?
Because it wanted to see the Big Apple!
38. Why don’t New Yorkers play chess?
Because there are too many “knights” in the city already!
39. How do you know if a restaurant is good in New York?
There’s a line out the door!
40. Why did the New Yorker take a ruler to bed?
To see how long he could sleep!
Keep the Laughter Rolling, Share the Joy of NYC Fun!
We’ve successfully navigated the hilarity and wit of New York jokes and we assure you, no pigeons were harmed in the making of this list. So, why keep all the fun to yourself? Spread the laughs far and wide! Share these jokes on your social media, send them to friends and family, or use them the next time someone asks ‘Why New York?’ Trust us, these jokes will never fail to entertain.
From us here in the “City That Never Sleeps”, keep the humor alive. Let your laughter be the music that keeps this city dancing. And remember, nothing spices up a concrete jungle like some good old-fashioned comedy. Stay tuned and keep visiting jokeandpun.com for more hilarity from around the globe!
