Ready to poke some fun at the world’s most “closed-off” country? Let’s take a satirical journey filled with clever wordplay and jokes that laugh at life behind the Hermit Curtains. North Korea may be famous for its strict censorship and over-the-top propaganda, but lucky for us, there’s no limit on using humor to bring light to the weird and absurd.
After all, did you know there’s only one official haircut style for North Korean men, approved by the regime? Sounds like a real buzzkill. Buckle up, because these jokes are bound to rocket straight to your funny bone faster than a North Korean missile test!
If Kim Jong-un was aware of how often he features in jokes all around the world, he’d probably claim that every punchline was personally composed by him, just like he “composed” every nation’s Peak Tourism slogan – except, well, North Korea’s.
Table of the Funniest North Korea Jokes
1. Why don’t North Koreans tell secrets?
Because the walls have *uncles*.
2. What’s the favorite TV show in North Korea?
Whatever Kim decides. Season 1, Episode 1, on repeat.
3. Why did the tourist book a one-way ticket to Pyongyang?
Because that’s all he’d get anyway!
4. How does a North Korean joke typically start?
“Ssh… Kim’s listening!”
5. Why aren’t there any top YouTubers in North Korea?
Because uploading a video takes nine years.
6. What do you call North Korea’s space program?
A shot in the dark—literally.
7. Why did Kim Jong-un become a stand-up comedian?
Because everyone laughed… or else!
8. How many books do North Korean libraries hold?
Just one. And it’s also empty, to be “improved upon.”
9. Why does Kim Jong-un wear lifts in his shoes?
So he can look down on everyone… literally.
10. What’s Pyongyang’s idea of a rock concert?
Two rocks colliding in true socialist style!
11. Why is the food supply so controlled in North Korea?
Because Kim’s not trying to feed egos—just his own.
12. How do North Koreans get their news?
From one official source—and no facts included!
13. Why can’t you trust Kim Jong-un’s internet connection?
Because his regime’s firewall blocks everything except his selfies.
14. How do you tame a lion in North Korea?
You tell it that Kim Jong-un ordered to be vegetarian.
15. What do North Korean traffic lights signal?
All red, just like their government.
16. Why did North Korea open a new restaurant?
To cook up more propaganda, side dish free of charge!
17. How do you know a missile test failed in North Korea?
They say it was a “peaceful fireworks celebration.”
18. Why don’t you ever play chess with a North Korean?
Because Kim already moved all the pieces—and you lose.
19. What do they call Wi-Fi in North Korea?
Wi-Why?
20. How did Kim Jong-un get through school?
He had every report rewritten until he was “a genius.”
21. Why can’t Kim Jong-un use Twitter?
Because 240 characters can barely fit his ego.
22. How do you ask a North Korean for directions?
You don’t; they’re probably lost too—mentally and spatially.
23. Why did Kim Jong-un ban knock-knock jokes?
Because every knock could be his next coup attempt.
24. What’s the hardest quiz question in North Korea?
“What do you think?”
25. Why did North Korea quit using pencils?
Because they leave a trail of evidence behind!
26. Why do North Koreans never lie?
Because all they know is propaganda, and there’s no room for facts!
27. Why are North Korean TV stations so provocative?
Because they show images of “bread” and “free press.”
28. How is coffee served in North Korea?
Instantly… 3 years from now.
29. Why was North Korea’s Olympic team the strongest?
Because they were lifting propaganda weights!
30. How did Kim Jong-un solve the hunger crisis?
He fed his ego and starved everyone else.
31. Why are there no parking tickets in Pyongyang?
Because no one can afford cars!
32. Why did they add another star on North Korean flags?
For every test missile that went up… and didn’t come back down.
33. What’s a North Korean’s favorite app?
AccuPropaganda.
34. Why doesn’t Kim Jong-un own a smartphone?
Because he’d have to face calls for “real change.”
35. How does a dictator laugh online?
LOL (Laugh Out Loud-at-gunpoint).
36. Why is Kim’s favorite shape a square?
Because he squares off with democracy.
37. Why did the chicken cross into North Korea?
Because it had no idea what it was getting itself into.
38. What’s Kim Jong-un’s favorite song?
“I Will Always Love Me.”
39. How do you spell “freedom” in North Korea?
C-E-N-S-O-R-E-D.
40. Why did North Korea’s government double down on border security?
So the truth couldn’t escape.
41. How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because it’s state-provided darkness.
42. What kind of workout does Kim Jong-un do?
Bicep curls of self-praise.
43. Why was North Korea’s basketball league discontinued?
Because Kim didn’t win.
44. What’s Kim Jong-un’s favorite dance move?
The dictatorship shuffle—it’s always one step behind.
45. Why did Kim Jong-un flunk geography?
Because his maps only show one country.
46. What’s Kim Jong-un’s least favorite game?
Hide and Seek—he hides, but no one seeks!
47. Why don’t North Korean tourists need maps?
Because there’s only one place they’re allowed to go.
48. What do you do if you see a UFO in North Korea?
Report it—Kim probably invented it.
49. How does North Korea celebrate a 5-star restaurant?
By giving it 6 stars—Kim’s orders.
50. Why did Kim Jong-un start a YouTube Channel?
To explain *his* side of the world’s history—from the beginning.
51. Why is parenting tough in North Korea?
Because babysitting costs an “approved propaganda session.”
52. What emergency number do you ring in North Korea?
911? No, just the government—they’ll define the emergency for you.
53. Did you hear about Kim’s new literary masterpiece?
Yes, it’s called *My Life: The Only Version That Counts*.
54. What’s the new airline slogan in Pyongyang?
“Fly with us—because you have no choice.”
55. Why was Kim Jong-un’s biography a bestseller?
Because it was the only book on sale!
56. How do you spot a rebel in North Korea?
They make eye contact with reality.
57. Why did the North Korean purse go to the gym?
To get more carry-on propaganda.
58. How do North Koreans pay rent?
By donating their dreams of a better life.
59. Why did a Pyongyang poet quit?
Because every rhyme had to include “Kim.”
60. What’s the penalty for daydreaming in North Korea?
You’re required to dream about Kim instead!
61. Why don’t supermarkets exist in North Korea?
Because everything’s already *highly* controlled.
62. How does Kim Jong-un motivate his military troops?
He threatens to take away their one daily grain of rice!
63. Why was the violinist expelled from Pyongyang’s orchestra?
He hit a note the regime didn’t approve of.
64. What’s Pyongyang’s most recommended exercise?
Jump to conclusions—Kim’s conclusions.
65. How can you tell a joke’s loyal to North Korea?
It laughs when Kim tells it to.
66. Why was the Pyongyang marathon called off?
Because everyone was running for freedom instead.
67. What’s the movie rating in North Korea?
Kim-rated, no matter the genre.
68. What’s Pyongyang’s luxury export?
Kim’s luxury of delusion exported on propaganda platforms.
69. Why did the artist move to China?
Because in North Korea, “free expression” isn’t in the language!
70. What’s Pyongyang’s favorite holiday?
Kim’s birthday, every day.
71. What job is hardest in North Korea?
Doing the weather forecast—no clouds dare exist under Kim’s reign.
72. Why don’t elevators exist in North Korea’s tallest buildings?
Because freedom is a heavy lift.
73. Why did Kim Jong-un fail at baseball?
Because every first attempt was considered a strike—against him.
74. How do North Korean athletes stay motivated?
Well, they don’t.
75. Why did the peach revolt?
It got tired of being canned—just like freedom in North Korea.
76. Why did the chicken refuse to cross the street in Pyongyang?
Because it wasn’t state approved.
77. How does one become a billionaire in North Korea?
Start as a dictator and control the whole state.
78. Who wins every competition in North Korea?
Kim Jong-un; the competitions always start once he’s finished.
79. Why don’t North Korean citizens speak out?
Because their walls snitch louder than protests.
80. What’s the next big thing in North Korean tech?
The handheld laugh-track generator, so it sounds like Kim’s jokes work.
81. Why are all North Korea’s government websites identical?
It’s user-friendly—Kim’s the only user that matters.
82. Why don’t North Koreans go to the zoo?
Because they’ve already seen enough domestic wildlife.
83. What’s the official drink of Pyongyang?
Regime cola—because dictatorship fizzes out all opposition.
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So there you have it—satire so sharp even the Great Leader couldn’t dull it! If these North Korea jokes gave you a chuckle, we’re betting they’ll bring a smile to your friends too. So go ahead—share this article, bookmark it, and give the world a good-natured laugh. Don’t forget, you can always come back for more sharp humor right here on jokeandpun.com!
