Ready to poke some fun at the world’s most âclosed-offâ country? Let’s take a satirical journey filled with clever wordplay and jokes that laugh at life behind the Hermit Curtains. North Korea may be famous for its strict censorship and over-the-top propaganda, but lucky for us, there’s no limit on using humor to bring light to the weird and absurd.
After all, did you know thereâs only one official haircut style for North Korean men, approved by the regime? Sounds like a real buzzkill. Buckle up, because these jokes are bound to rocket straight to your funny bone faster than a North Korean missile test!
If Kim Jong-un was aware of how often he features in jokes all around the world, heâd probably claim that every punchline was personally composed by him, just like he “composed” every nation’s Peak Tourism slogan – except, well, North Koreaâs.
Table of the Funniest North Korea Jokes
1. Why don’t North Koreans tell secrets?
Because the walls have *uncles*.
2. What’s the favorite TV show in North Korea?
Whatever Kim decides. Season 1, Episode 1, on repeat.
3. Why did the tourist book a one-way ticket to Pyongyang?
Because thatâs all he’d get anyway!
4. How does a North Korean joke typically start?
“Ssh… Kimâs listening!”
5. Why arenât there any top YouTubers in North Korea?
Because uploading a video takes nine years.
6. What do you call North Koreaâs space program?
A shot in the darkâliterally.
7. Why did Kim Jong-un become a stand-up comedian?
Because everyone laughed… or else!
8. How many books do North Korean libraries hold?
Just one. And itâs also empty, to be “improved upon.”
9. Why does Kim Jong-un wear lifts in his shoes?
So he can look down on everyone… literally.
10. What’s Pyongyang’s idea of a rock concert?
Two rocks colliding in true socialist style!
11. Why is the food supply so controlled in North Korea?
Because Kimâs not trying to feed egosâjust his own.
12. How do North Koreans get their news?
From one official sourceâand no facts included!
13. Why can’t you trust Kim Jong-un’s internet connection?
Because his regimeâs firewall blocks everything except his selfies.
14. How do you tame a lion in North Korea?
You tell it that Kim Jong-un ordered to be vegetarian.
15. What do North Korean traffic lights signal?
All red, just like their government.
16. Why did North Korea open a new restaurant?
To cook up more propaganda, side dish free of charge!
17. How do you know a missile test failed in North Korea?
They say it was a “peaceful fireworks celebration.”
18. Why donât you ever play chess with a North Korean?
Because Kim already moved all the piecesâand you lose.
19. What do they call Wi-Fi in North Korea?
Wi-Why?
20. How did Kim Jong-un get through school?
He had every report rewritten until he was “a genius.”
21. Why canât Kim Jong-un use Twitter?
Because 240 characters can barely fit his ego.
22. How do you ask a North Korean for directions?
You donât; theyâre probably lost tooâmentally and spatially.
23. Why did Kim Jong-un ban knock-knock jokes?
Because every knock could be his next coup attempt.
24. Whatâs the hardest quiz question in North Korea?
“What do you think?â
25. Why did North Korea quit using pencils?
Because they leave a trail of evidence behind!
26. Why do North Koreans never lie?
Because all they know is propaganda, and thereâs no room for facts!
27. Why are North Korean TV stations so provocative?
Because they show images of âbreadâ and âfree press.â
28. How is coffee served in North Korea?
Instantly… 3 years from now.
29. Why was North Korea’s Olympic team the strongest?
Because they were lifting propaganda weights!
30. How did Kim Jong-un solve the hunger crisis?
He fed his ego and starved everyone else.
31. Why are there no parking tickets in Pyongyang?
Because no one can afford cars!
32. Why did they add another star on North Korean flags?
For every test missile that went up… and didnât come back down.
33. Whatâs a North Koreanâs favorite app?
AccuPropaganda.
34. Why doesnât Kim Jong-un own a smartphone?
Because heâd have to face calls for âreal change.â
35. How does a dictator laugh online?
LOL (Laugh Out Loud-at-gunpoint).
36. Why is Kim’s favorite shape a square?
Because he squares off with democracy.
37. Why did the chicken cross into North Korea?
Because it had no idea what it was getting itself into.
38. Whatâs Kim Jong-unâs favorite song?
“I Will Always Love Me.”
39. How do you spell “freedom” in North Korea?
C-E-N-S-O-R-E-D.
40. Why did North Koreaâs government double down on border security?
So the truth couldn’t escape.
41. How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because itâs state-provided darkness.
42. What kind of workout does Kim Jong-un do?
Bicep curls of self-praise.
43. Why was North Koreaâs basketball league discontinued?
Because Kim didnât win.
44. What’s Kim Jong-un’s favorite dance move?
The dictatorship shuffleâitâs always one step behind.
45. Why did Kim Jong-un flunk geography?
Because his maps only show one country.
46. What’s Kim Jong-un’s least favorite game?
Hide and Seekâhe hides, but no one seeks!
47. Why don’t North Korean tourists need maps?
Because there’s only one place they’re allowed to go.
48. What do you do if you see a UFO in North Korea?
Report itâKim probably invented it.
49. How does North Korea celebrate a 5-star restaurant?
By giving it 6 starsâKimâs orders.
50. Why did Kim Jong-un start a YouTube Channel?
To explain *his* side of the world’s historyâfrom the beginning.
51. Why is parenting tough in North Korea?
Because babysitting costs an âapproved propaganda session.â
52. What emergency number do you ring in North Korea?
911? No, just the governmentâtheyâll define the emergency for you.
53. Did you hear about Kimâs new literary masterpiece?
Yes, itâs called *My Life: The Only Version That Counts*.
54. Whatâs the new airline slogan in Pyongyang?
âFly with usâbecause you have no choice.â
55. Why was Kim Jong-un’s biography a bestseller?
Because it was the only book on sale!
56. How do you spot a rebel in North Korea?
They make eye contact with reality.
57. Why did the North Korean purse go to the gym?
To get more carry-on propaganda.
58. How do North Koreans pay rent?
By donating their dreams of a better life.
59. Why did a Pyongyang poet quit?
Because every rhyme had to include “Kim.”
60. What’s the penalty for daydreaming in North Korea?
Youâre required to dream about Kim instead!
61. Why donât supermarkets exist in North Korea?
Because everythingâs already *highly* controlled.
62. How does Kim Jong-un motivate his military troops?
He threatens to take away their one daily grain of rice!
63. Why was the violinist expelled from Pyongyangâs orchestra?
He hit a note the regime didnât approve of.
64. Whatâs Pyongyangâs most recommended exercise?
Jump to conclusionsâKimâs conclusions.
65. How can you tell a jokeâs loyal to North Korea?
It laughs when Kim tells it to.
66. Why was the Pyongyang marathon called off?
Because everyone was running for freedom instead.
67. What’s the movie rating in North Korea?
Kim-rated, no matter the genre.
68. Whatâs Pyongyangâs luxury export?
Kimâs luxury of delusion exported on propaganda platforms.
69. Why did the artist move to China?
Because in North Korea, âfree expressionâ isnât in the language!
70. Whatâs Pyongyangâs favorite holiday?
Kimâs birthday, every day.
71. What job is hardest in North Korea?
Doing the weather forecastâno clouds dare exist under Kimâs reign.
72. Why donât elevators exist in North Koreaâs tallest buildings?
Because freedom is a heavy lift.
73. Why did Kim Jong-un fail at baseball?
Because every first attempt was considered a strikeâagainst him.
74. How do North Korean athletes stay motivated?
Well, they donât.
75. Why did the peach revolt?
It got tired of being cannedâjust like freedom in North Korea.
76. Why did the chicken refuse to cross the street in Pyongyang?
Because it wasnât state approved.
77. How does one become a billionaire in North Korea?
Start as a dictator and control the whole state.
78. Who wins every competition in North Korea?
Kim Jong-un; the competitions always start once he’s finished.
79. Why donât North Korean citizens speak out?
Because their walls snitch louder than protests.
80. Whatâs the next big thing in North Korean tech?
The handheld laugh-track generator, so it sounds like Kim’s jokes work.
81. Why are all North Koreaâs government websites identical?
Itâs user-friendlyâKimâs the only user that matters.
82. Why donât North Koreans go to the zoo?
Because theyâve already seen enough domestic wildlife.
83. Whatâs the official drink of Pyongyang?
Regime colaâbecause dictatorship fizzes out all opposition.
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So there you have itâsatire so sharp even the Great Leader couldnât dull it! If these North Korea jokes gave you a chuckle, weâre betting theyâll bring a smile to your friends too. So go aheadâshare this article, bookmark it, and give the world a good-natured laugh. Don’t forget, you can always come back for more sharp humor right here on jokeandpun.com!
