Rugby might be a brutal sport on the field, but off the field, there’s plenty of laughter to be had. Whether you’re a dedicated fan or you just enjoy having a good chuckle at light-hearted banter, these jokes will have you grinning from ear to ear — or should we say, cauliflower ear!
Fun fact: Did you know rugby was actually invented when a student at an English school picked up a soccer ball and ran with it? People have been giving players grief for breaking the usual rules ever since.
So, sit back, grab your whistle (to blow at anyone who groans at your jokes), and dive into this scrum of hilarious rugby humor! Fair warning—these rugby jokes are coming at you faster than a winger with an open field ahead!
Table of the Funniest Rugby Jokes
1. Why don’t rugby referees ever get lost?
They always follow the rules.
2. What’s a rugby player’s favorite part of school?
Break time!
3. Why did the rugby team go to the bank?
To try and get a good conversion!
4. How does a rugby player clean his clothes?
He puts them through the ruck cycle!
5. What do you call a rugby team full of sheep?
The BaaBaa-ckrow!
6. Why are rugby players great comedians?
They always deliver punchlines!
7. What did the hooker say to the prop before the scrum?
“Hold me closer, tiny dancer.”
8. Why did the fly-half bring a ladder to the game?
Because rugby always has its ups and downs!
9. What’s the first rule for dating a rugby player?
Don’t expect him to pass!
10. Why do rugby players make terrible lawyers?
They can’t stop making high tackles!
11. How do rugby players like their eggs?
Scrambled, as always.
12. What did one rugby ball say to the other?
“You try getting through training unscuffed!”
13. Why did the rugby player marry the referee’s whistle?
Because he couldn’t resist the sound of commitment!
14. How can you tell a rugby player at a party?
Don’t worry, they’ll tackle you first!
15. What position does a tea-drinking rugby player play?
Loose-infuser.
16. Why don’t rugby players write letters?
They prefer to hit the posts!
17. What’s a rugby player’s least favorite vegetable?
Turn-overs.
18. How does a rugby player show affection?
He’ll ruck you up real good.
19. Why did the rugby fan go to art school?
To improve his draw!
20. What do you call a rugby player who’s also a ghost?
A scrum-reaper!
21. Why don’t props make good gardeners?
They always pull up the roots!
22. Why are rugby teams great at surprise parties?
They’re experts in making sudden breaks!
23. What do you call a rugby player with no sense of smell?
The perfect hooker—less chance of getting distracted during the game!
24. Why did the rugby player win the lottery?
He had great support!
25. What do rugby players and smart cars have in common?
They’re both big on compact hits!
26. Why did the lock bring a backpack to training?
So he could lock it afterward!
27. How does a rugby fan like to relax?
Kicks back with a few conversions.
28. What’s a rugby player’s favorite instrument?
The scrumhorn.
29. Why do rugby players go on holidays?
To take a break from breaking tackles!
30. Why don’t rugby players ever tell secrets?
They don’t want anything leaked before the game!
31. How can you spot an out-of-shape rugby player?
They’re always clutching their belly after a tackle!
32. Why are rugby fields always tidy?
Because they’re constantly raked by boots!
33. What did the rugby player say at the library?
“Where’s the book on tackles that don’t hurt?”
34. Why don’t rugby players like swimming?
The ruck doesn’t float!
35. Why did the rugby player file a police report?
Someone keeps knocking him out!
36. What do you call a rugby team stuck in the barn?
The pack-in-the-hay!
37. Why did the rugby player bring a broom to the stadium?
To sweep through the defense!
38. Where do rugby players go when they need advice?
The support line.
39. What’s a rugby player’s favorite game?
Tackle and Seek.
40. Why did the scrum-half run to the fridge?
He needed a quick pass!
41. What did the rugby player say to the chicken that crossed the field?
“Hey, you want to join the team?”
42. How do you know when the other team’s given up?
They start playing touch instead of tackle!
43. Why can’t rugby players tell jokes?
They always get tackled at the punchline!
44. What’s a rugby player’s idea of a wild night out?
A rolling maul and a pint or two.
45. What does a rugby fan do when it’s raining?
Stay dry with a high kick shelter!
46. What’s a rugby player’s favorite breed of dog?
Border Collie—it’s always ready to round up the pack!
47. Why was the rugby player late to practice?
He got held up by a maul in traffic.
48. Why do rugby players hate elevators?
Too many up-and-down phases!
49. What do rugby teams say when they’re confused on the pitch?
“Are we in a ruck or a hard place?”
50. How does a rugby player like his steak?
Rugged!
51. Why was the rugby player terrible at karaoke?
He couldn’t hit the high notes—or any notes!
52. Why do rugby clubs always have the best lawns?
Because the players are fully committed to trimming down the field!
53. How do you know when a rugby player is in love?
He’ll tackle Cupid just to get to you!
54. What do you call a bunch of rugby players at a barbecue?
A flank grilling.
55. Why do rugby players always win at chess?
Because they know how to force a stalemate.
56. What is the rugby player’s go-to power snack?
Scrumptious turnovers.
57. Why can’t rugby players start a band?
They’re always too busy playing in the backs.
58. Why are rugby players always bad with alarms?
They’re used to game clocks, not reminders!
59. How did the rugby player impress his date?
By making a break for the flowers.
60. What’s a common career after rugby?
Go into damage control at crisis management firms!
61. Why was the rugby pitch always so noisy?
The players kept making prop-ulsive moves!
62. Why did the rugby coach go to detention center?
To pick up some hard-hitting tactics.
63. How do you keep a rugby player entertained for hours?
Tell him to practice conversions with a round ball.
64. Why do rugby players enjoy Halloween?
Because they’re already experts at covering distances in a mask.
65. What does a rugby player wear to bed?
Anything, as long as it’s ready for a tackle!
66. Why did the winger give up being a comedian?
He realized his career was going too wide.
67. Why are rugby scrums like sandwiches?
Everyone’s biting into them!
68. What’s a rugby player’s favorite footwear?
Maul-ticultural boots!
69. Why do rugby players always travel in twos?
Support is everything!
70. What happened to the rugby ball who entered a talent show?
He got kicked off stage.
71. Why did the forward bring a whistle to the game?
He thought he might enjoy calling his own shots.
72. What do rugby players never leave home without?
Their game face—and maybe some extra tackles in their back pocket.
73. Why was the rugby stadium so clean?
They played with a clean sweep—no turnover trash left behind!
74. Why are rugby players the best friends you can have?
They’ll always tackle your problems head-on.
75. Why couldn’t the rugby player keep his engagement ring?
Every time he got down on one knee, he tackled the poor jeweler!
76. Why are rugby players terrible at golf?
They can’t stop going for conversions!
77. How did the rugby player propose?
With a side step and a hasty ‘try’ at the aisle!
78. What is the most important meal for rugby players?
Their ‘lineout and lunch.’
79. What do rugby players and cats have in common?
They’re both always capable of making ‘scratching’ plays.
80. What do you call an American playing rugby?
Out of touch!
81. Why did the rugby player quit his job as an electrician?
Too much gridlock and shocking tackles.
82. How do rugby players motivate their brains on a Sunday?
By watching a scrum-thing educational.
83. What’s a winger’s least favorite lullaby?
“Wide try, Little Star!”
84. Why do rugby players struggle in cooking classes?
They keep flanking the instructions!
85. When does a center become an artist?
When they create a picture-perfect break in the defense!
86. Why is rugby great cardio?
Forwards really know how to get your blood pumping!
87. Why did the rugby player refuse to sit for an interview?
Too many loaded questions about the lock position!
88. What’s a rugby team’s favorite kind of poster?
A “well-supported” one!
89. How can you sum up rugby?
Tackles, tries, and
good vibes!
90. Why are rugby players great musicians?
They can tackle tempo changes without missing a beat!
Share the joke… or get tackled!
Did these jokes leave you chuckling or groaning on the sidelines? Don’t be selfish—your fellow rugby fans deserve a good laugh too! Share this article with your friends and followers, so they can get in on the fun. Whether you’re here for the puns or the painful punchlines, keep the humor rolling by bookmarking **jokeandpun.com** for all your comedic needs. When it comes to rugby jokes, it’s all about passing the laughter along!
