Sailing brings a unique sense of freedom, joy, and sometimes, a few giggles. Whether you’re a seasoned sailor or simply someone who loves the idea of catching wind and waves, humor is a vital part of the experience. Believe it or not, maritime history is full of hilarious anecdotes, puns, and jokes that have made sailors laugh wholeheartedly for centuries.
In fact, during the Age of Sail, sharing jokes was one way sailors kept their spirits up during long voyages. Well, we’ve taken a page out of their logbooks and compiled some of the finest sailing jokes that are sure to keep you entertained and, most importantly, afloat with laughter. Ready to set sail on a tide of humor? Let’s dive in!
Here’s a collection of side-splitting sailing jokes that are sure to anchor a smile in you. These jokes make perfect sharing material to brighten someone’s day.
Table of the Funniest Sailing Jokes
1. What kind of detergent do sailors use?
Tide.
2. Why do sailors hate long-distance relationships?
Because their love always drifts away.
3. What did the ocean say to the sailor?
Nothing, it just waved.
4. How do sailors prefer their drinks?
On the rocks.
5. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the bar?
Because he heard the drinks were on the house.
6. What do you call a sailor’s flirty friend?
A deck-tease.
7. Why was the sailor a bad singer?
Because he hit too many reefs during his songs.
8. What type of sandwich do sailors eat?
Submarines.
9. What do sailors use when they want to entertain a crowd?
A pirate show.
10. Why can’t sailors play cards?
Because the captain is always standing on the deck.
11. Why did the lazy sailor get hot?
Because he stayed below deck and couldn’t find any sea breeze.
12. How do sailors greet each other?
They wave.
13. What game do little boats play?
Dock dock goose.
14. Why do sailors make bad comedians?
Because their jokes are too knotty.
15. What do you call a sailor who’s always early?
Ahead of the ketch.
16. Why don’t sailors get lost?
They always know their port from starboard.
17. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music?
Rock and row.
18. How did the sailor propose?
With a knot.
19. Why did the sailor start a business?
He wanted to craft his own destiny.
20. What did the sailor say to his girlfriend?
“You’re my anchor.”
21. Why don’t sailors trust ferry boats?
Because they can’t handle the current.
22. How do sailors make their sandwiches?
With sub-marine bread.
23. Why did the sailor go to school?
To improve his current situation.
24. What’s a sailor’s favorite fruit?
A navi-orange.
25. Why was the sailor always calm?
He knew how to keep things shipshape.
26. What does a sailor say on his birthday?
“I’m feeling buoyant!”
27. Why was the sailor afraid of arguing?
He didn’t want to cause any squabbles.
28. How do sailors usually send messages?
By sea-mail.
29. What do sailors do on their days off?
They unwind.
30. How did the sailor reach the ship?
By scaling up his game.
31. Why did the sailor lie?
He thought it was a tall tale.
32. How did the sailor find his way?
He followed the current trend.
33. What do you call a sailor with a sense of humor?
A pun-sailor.
34. What’s a sailor’s favorite cereal?
Cap’n Crunch.
35. Why was the sailor in a hurry?
Because time and tide wait for no man.
36. How do sailors stay fit?
They work out their core-al muscles.
37. What do you call a boat full of puns?
A pun-tune boat.
38. Why did the sailor break up with his partner?
There was no more latitude in their relationship.
39. How do sailors stay strong?
They knot give up.
40. Why do sailors love clever jokes?
Because they love to sea the punchline coming.
41. What’s a sailor’s favorite dance?
The sail-sa.
42. What’s the difference between a pier and a dock?
A dock is higher up!
43. What treats do sailors enjoy?
Salty crackers.
44. Why do sailors never get lost?
They follow the compass—their true mate.
45. Why do people love sailors?
Because they have great latitude!
46. How do sailors communicate at sea?
By waving!
47. Why are sailors good at math?
They know all about knots.
48. What did the sailor say when he found gold?
“I’ve struck a sand bank!”
49. Why won’t sailors write in cursive?
Because it’s too loopy!
50. How do you make a sailor laugh?
With a schooner-ful of jokes.
51. Why did the sailboat blush?
It saw the ocean’s bottom.
52. What kind of dog does a sailor have?
A sea-dog.
53. What’s a sailor’s favorite sandwich?
A sub-marinewich.
54. What keeps sailors feeling optimistic?
Their can-do attitude.
55. How do sailors wash their clothes?
With an aye-on.
56. What’s a sailor’s favorite fish?
A sailfish.
57. What musical instrument do sailors always carry?
A buoy-lele.
58. Why was the sailor always alone?
He couldn’t find his crew-mates.
59. How do sailors keep in touch with family?
By ship-to-shore phone!
60. Why don’t sailors play basketball?
They hate the courts.
61. What’s a sailor’s favorite dessert?
Pie-rate pie.
62. How do sailors prank each other?
By tie-ing their shoelaces together.
63. Why do sailors wear striped shirts?
So they can sea through the waves!
64. Why did the sailor quit his job?
To sea the world!
65. What do sailors call a sunshiny day?
A shore thing.
Drop anchor and share the laughter!
Sailing jokes are like a refreshing breeze on a hot day—exactly what’s needed to break the monotony. Feel free to share these jokes with friends, family, or anyone who loves a good laugh. Bookmark our website to continue filling your sails with humor.
Don’t forget to drop anchor here often for more fun, laughs, and pure joy. Now hit that share button and let the world know how much you enjoy a fantastic sailing joke!
