When life gets a bit too dry, there’s nothing like submarine jokes to submerge you in laughter. These jokes are perfect whether you’re waiting for your next sea adventure or simply trying to navigate the day.
Fun fact: Did you know the deepest a submarine has ever dived is over 35,000 feet below sea level? That’s a lot of pressure… for the punchlines too! So, let’s take a deep dive into humor without needing a periscope. Whether you’re a sailor or just love a good laugh, these jokes will definitely make your spirits buoyant.
You don’t need to be a certified sub-mariner to get these jokes. Just make sure you’re ready to surface for air between laughs. Let’s dive into the deep waters of humor!
Table of the Funniest Submarine Jokes
1. Why did the submarine blush?
It saw something below sea level.
2. What do you call a submarine that tells the same joke twice?
A repeat offender.
3. Why don’t submarines ever go to parties?
Because they’re always a little sub–dued.
4. What do you get when you cross a submarine with a magician?
A sub-presto!
5. Why did the submarine refuse to come up too quickly?
Because it didn’t want to make a splash.
6. What kind of sandwiches do submarines eat?
Deep-sea subs.
7. Why did the musician bring his band on the submarine?
He wanted to make some deep bass.
8. How do submariners communicate at a party?
By using sub-titles.
9. What’s a submarine’s favorite song?
“Under Pressure” by Queen.
10. Why do submarines never get lost?
They always have a sinking feeling about where they’re going.
11. What did the ocean say to the submarine?
Nothing, it just waved.
12. Why did the chef avoid cooking on the submarine?
He couldn’t handle the pressure in the kitchen.
13. What’s a submarine captain’s favorite genre of music?
Anything too deep for the surface folks.
14. How do submarines flirt?
They send sub-text.
15. Why don’t submarines make good detectives?
Because they always miss the sub-plot.
16. What’s a submarine’s favorite day of the week?
Sub-urday, of course!
17. What’s a submarine’s least favorite weather?
When it’s feeling under the weather. (No pressure.)
18. Why can’t you trust a deep-sea fish in a submarine race?
Because they’re liable to flounder under pressure.
19. What kind of shoes does a submarine wear?
Flip-flops. They’re always ready for a dive.
20. Why did the comedian refuse to board the submarine?
He didn’t want to sink to new depths.
21. How do you know if a submarine’s having a bad day?
It’s feeling a little sub-par.
22. Why do submarines avoid gossip?
Because they don’t like to make waves.
23. What do you say to a submarine chef?
“That’s a lot of subs-tance!”
24. Why was the submarine so good at team sports?
Because it knew how to dive right in!
25. What’s a submarine’s worst nightmare?
The surface.
26. Why did the submarine go to therapy?
It didn’t want to bottle things up anymore.
27. What kind of exercise do submarines do?
Deep squats.
28. How do submarines order at a restaurant?
They just dive into the menu.
29. Why was the submarine always late?
It was stuck in a current predicament.
30. What do you call a clumsy submarine?
A sub-bubbletrouble.
31. Why did the ship laugh at the submarine?
Because it was underappreciated.
32. What does a submarine use for light reading?
Sub-titles.
33. What do submarines eat for breakfast?
Sinkers and floaters.
34. How are submarines in arguments?
They always take things a bit too deep.
35. What song do submarines play when they win a game?
“We Are the Champions” — in deep harmony.
36. Why don’t submarines do karaoke?
They don’t want to surface when they’re out of tune.
37. What’s a submarine crew member’s favorite type of tree?
Sub-birch.
38. What was the submarine captain’s favorite sci-fi movie?
“20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.”
39. Why did the submarine break up with its partner?
They had too much baggage… deep emotional baggage.
40. What instrument does a fish play in a submarine?
A bass guitar, obviously!
41. Why did the submarine take a drama class?
To get in touch with its deep emotions.
42. What do you call a submarine cook’s specialty?
A deep-fry dive.
43. Why was the submarine so good at fishing?
It knew how to handle deep lines.
44. What do you call a submarine that tells lies?
A fib-marine.
45. How do you fix a problem in a submarine?
You dive into the details.
46. What’s a submarine’s favorite subject in school?
Marine-gebra.
47. Why don’t submarines play hide and seek?
They’re always under cover.
48. Why did the submarine crew bring a map?
In case things got too deep.
49. What do you call a submarine band?
The Sub-sonics.
50. How do submarines save money?
By diving into discounts.
51. Why was the submarine stressed out?
It was under too much pressure.
52. How does a submarine stay organized?
With a sub-folder, of course.
53. Why don’t submarines argue with sharks?
Sharks like to keep things at the surface.
54. What’s a submarine’s favorite sport?
Diving, obviously!
55. Why was the submarine always so calm?
It’s good under pressure.
56. What animal helps submarines find their way?
The navi-ga-tortoise.
57. What do you call a submarine with an attitude problem?
A sub-grudge.
58. Why don’t people pick on submarines?
They’re always ready to dive back at you.
59. What’s a submarine crew’s favorite day?
Subday-Funday.
60. What do submarines drink?
Ocean-ion water.
61. What do you call a fast submarine?
A speedy sub-marine.
62. Why did the jokes stop talking to the submarine?
They couldn’t stand the pressure.
63. How do submariners tell time underwater?
With sub-marine watches.
64. Why don’t submarines join stand-up comedy?
They dive real deep into jokes, and it’s hard to surface.
65. What was the submarine’s favorite book?
“20,000 Laughs Under the Sea.”
66. Why was the submarine always fashionable?
It knew how to rock the deep blues.
67. What do you call a funny submarine?
A sub-comedian.
68. Why do submarines enjoy bubbles?
They love a good rise.
69. What’s a submarine’s least favorite subject?
History – it always surfaces.
70. Why don’t submarines excel in math?
Because they keep diving into problems.
71. What’s a submarine’s favorite snack?
Sunken ships… er, chips!
72. Why do race tracks like submarines?
They’re built for high-pressure moments.
73. How can you tell when a submarine’s in trouble?
It’s making waves.
74. What’s a submarine’s favorite movie character?
Captain Nemo, of course.
75. What do you call a submarine with a cold?
A sub-mariner’s flu.
76. How do submarines celebrate victories?
With a depth-defying cheer!
77. Why do submarines love riddles?
They like things that are submerged in layers.
78. What’s a submarine’s favorite flavor of ice cream?
Deep-sea salty caramel.
79. How do you describe a submarine’s laugh?
Deep and rolling.
80. Why was the submarine captain always happy?
Because every dive was a deep success.
81. What does a submarine say before diving?
“Seal you later!”
82. Why did the submarine adopt a turtle?
It wanted a pet that thinks as deeply as it does.
83. What’s a submarine’s favorite festival?
The Subaqua Bash.
84. How do submariners dance?
They bust deep moves.
85. Why was the submarine thrilled?
Because it made the dive of its life!
Come back up for air – but don’t forget to share the jokes!
We hope these submarine jokes made you laugh so hard you couldn’t tell if you were sinking or floating! Make sure to share these with friends, family, or even a fellow sailor to bring humor to every sea-level and below. Submerge yourself in more fun by visiting our site for endless puns, and don’t forget to bookmark us for when you need another dive into laughter.
