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Home»Jokes»54 Funny Taxi Driver Jokes That Will Have You Facepalming
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54 Funny Taxi Driver Jokes That Will Have You Facepalming

Hold on to your steering wheel! These puns might just drive you mad.
Alex Cruz "The Coconut Kid"By Alex Cruz "The Coconut Kid"7 Mins Read
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Taxi Driver Jokes That Will Have You Facepalming
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Ah, the life of a taxi driver! It’s filled with endless rides, diverse passengers, and, hilariously enough, an unending repertoire of jokes. Did you know the first taxi service began in London in 1897 with electric cabs called Berseys?

Today, we’ll take you on a journey through the humor-filled lanes of taxi puns, sure to bring a chuckle, a groan, or one incredible facepalm. So buckle up, adjust your rearview mirror, and get ready to laugh-out-loud at these taxi driver jokes, perfect for anyone who loves a good pun or witty humor.

Table of the Funniest Taxi Driver Jokes

  • Why did the taxi driver yell at the passengers to put on their seat belts?
  • What’s a taxi driver’s favorite kind of music?
  • Why did the taxi driver always sit quietly in the cab?
  • How do taxi drivers diet?
  • Why don’t taxi drivers play hide and seek?
  • What did the passenger say to the taxi driver when he was in a hurry?
  • Why was the taxi driver’s max speed never reached?
  • How does a taxi driver start their morning?
  • Why did the taxi driver bring a ladder to work?
  • What do taxi drivers call their favorite books?
  • Why was the taxi so good at solving mysteries?
  • Why did the vampire repel from getting into a cab?
  • Why was the math book always happy after a taxi ride?
  • What did the taxi driver say when his car was out of gas?
  • Why did the tomato turn red in the taxi?
  • Why was the taxi driver great at video games?
  • How did the taxi driver react to a joke?
  • What does a taxi driver say at the start of a new journey?
  • Why do taxis never get lost?
  • Why was the bicycle unhappy with the taxi driver?
  • How do taxis stay cool in the summer?
  • What does a taxi driver with a cold sound like?
  • How does a taxi show affection?
  • Why was the octopus cab driver under investigation?
  • Why do taxi drivers carry diaries?
  • What happens when a taxi driver retires?
  • Why did the spaghetti call a taxi?
  • How do taxis stay fresh and clean?
  • What advice did the wise old taxi give?
  • Why was the pirate a bad taxi driver?
  • How did the taxi driver ace the geography quiz?
  • Why is it fun to talk to a taxi driver?
  • What do you call a sleepy taxi driver?
  • Why don’t taxis play poker?
  • How do taxi drivers celebrate success?
  • What did the ghost say to the taxi driver?
  • Why did the taxi driver bring a fish to work?
  • Why do taxi drivers prefer daytime shifts?
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman and a taxi?
  • Why did the thirsty taxi refuse a ride?
  • What did the box say to the taxi?
  • How can you recognize a good taxi driver?
  • What do you do when a taxi is rude?
  • Why do detectives respect taxis?
  • What’s a taxi’s favorite part of a movie?
  • Why did the taxi driver clash with reality TV?
  • What happens when a taxi gets hiccups?
  • Why did the jazz musician drive a taxi?
  • What do optimists say about taxi fares?
  • Why is laughter great for taxis?
  • What’s a taxi’s favorite exercise?
  • Why are taxi drivers good at conversations?

Why did the taxi driver yell at the passengers to put on their seat belts?

Because he was tired of being taken for a ride!

What’s a taxi driver’s favorite kind of music?

Heavy traffic!

Why did the taxi driver always sit quietly in the cab?

He didn’t want to cause an accident-al conversation!

How do taxi drivers diet?

They eat fare food!

Why don’t taxi drivers play hide and seek?

Because good luck hiding such a big cab!

What did the passenger say to the taxi driver when he was in a hurry?

Step on it, but not literally!

Why was the taxi driver’s max speed never reached?

Because the stoplights always gave him red signals!

How does a taxi driver start their morning?

With a coffee and a lot of commuter-small talk!

Why did the taxi driver bring a ladder to work?

Because she heard the fares were going up!

What do taxi drivers call their favorite books?

“Taking You Places” novels!

Why was the taxi so good at solving mysteries?

Because it went over every clue!

Why did the vampire repel from getting into a cab?

Because it only liked grave-hailing!

Why was the math book always happy after a taxi ride?

It got off on the right foot with all the figures!

What did the taxi driver say when his car was out of gas?

Lexi needs a taxi!

Why did the tomato turn red in the taxi?

It saw the ketchup approaching!

Why was the taxi driver great at video games?

Because he always had high scores in street gaming!

How did the taxi driver react to a joke?

With a honk and a chuckle, of course!

What does a taxi driver say at the start of a new journey?

Next stop, laughter lane!

Why do taxis never get lost?

They always have their routes in check!

Why was the bicycle unhappy with the taxi driver?

Because the driver kept steering wrong comparisons!

How do taxis stay cool in the summer?

With plenty of fans on board!

What does a taxi driver with a cold sound like?

A choo-choo (coughing between rides)!

How does a taxi show affection?

It gives a curb-your-enthusiasm ride!

Why was the octopus cab driver under investigation?

Too many hands on the wheel!

Why do taxi drivers carry diaries?

To keep track of their rides and pride!

What happens when a taxi driver retires?

They get a fare-well gift!

Why did the spaghetti call a taxi?

It missed the meal bus!

How do taxis stay fresh and clean?

Weekly car washes and monthly polish rides!

What advice did the wise old taxi give?

Keep the fare friendly and the ride steady!

Why was the pirate a bad taxi driver?

He kept drifting into treacherous waters!

How did the taxi driver ace the geography quiz?

He had all the territory mapped out!

Why is it fun to talk to a taxi driver?

They have fare-tastic stories!

What do you call a sleepy taxi driver?

A dozer on wheels!

Why don’t taxis play poker?

Because they always end up showing their cards!

How do taxi drivers celebrate success?

With honks and giggles!

What did the ghost say to the taxi driver?

Just take me BOO-levard!

Why did the taxi driver bring a fish to work?

For the scales of fare and justice!

Why do taxi drivers prefer daytime shifts?

Less ghost passengers!

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a taxi?

Frosty cabs!

Why did the thirsty taxi refuse a ride?

It wanted to take a sip-stop first!

What did the box say to the taxi?

I’m a package deal!

How can you recognize a good taxi driver?

By the miles of smiles they cover!

What do you do when a taxi is rude?

Give it the cold shoulder!

Why do detectives respect taxis?

Because they never miss a fare!

What’s a taxi’s favorite part of a movie?

The rides, obviously!

Why did the taxi driver clash with reality TV?

Too many fake destinations!

What happens when a taxi gets hiccups?

It gives a ride with a stammer!

Why did the jazz musician drive a taxi?

He loved to jam in traffic!

What do optimists say about taxi fares?

Every ride is priceless!

Why is laughter great for taxis?

It’s the best route to a joyful ride!

What’s a taxi’s favorite exercise?

Driving round the traffic-circle!

Why are taxi drivers good at conversations?

They know how to steer the topic right!

Share the laughter: Spread these taxi driver jokes!

Ready for more giggles and groans? Share these pun-tastic taxi driver jokes with friends and family, and watch as their faces light up with humor and the occasional facepalm. Don’t forget to bookmark jokeandpun.com for a steady supply of laughter.

Got a favorite joke? Drop it in the comments! Keep the laughter rolling and taxis whizzing by with these fun-filled one-liners.

Disclaimer: The jokes and puns featured on this website are intended for entertainment purposes only. While we may include content from the public domain, we also hold copyright to the original material we’ve created. If you believe that any content on this website infringes upon your copyright, please contact us immediately. We take copyright infringement seriously and will take appropriate action. While we strive for accuracy, we cannot guarantee the absolute correctness or completeness of all information presented here. Reader discretion is advised. Enjoy the laughs!
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Alex "The Coconut Kid" Cruz
Alex Cruz "The Coconut Kid"
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Alex "The Coconut Kid" Cruz is a Filipino-American stand-up comedian based in Manila, known for his witty observations on cultural clashes, family dynamics, and the unique quirks of life in the Philippines. Raised in California but with deep roots in his Filipino heritage, Alex brings a fresh perspective to the comedy scene. His humor is a blend of American observational comedy and traditional Filipino storytelling, infused with his own brand of self-deprecating wit and relatable charm. He's a regular at Manila's top comedy clubs and has been featured on numerous television shows and podcasts. With his infectious laugh and razor-sharp wit, Alex "The Coconut Kid" Cruz is a rising star in the Filipino comedy scene, bringing joy and laughter to audiences across the country and beyond.

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