We’ve all heard some “dad jokes,” but have you heard “diver jokes?” Today we’re bubbling up cracking underwater diving jokes to give your funny bone a workout. So gear up, dive into these punchlines, and let the current carry you away into a sea of giggles. Oh, and if you enjoy sea critter humor, you might want to save a few of these jokes for your next boat party or beach trip!
Fun fact: Did you know that while humans can only hold their breath for about 2 minutes, certain whales can do it for over 90 minutes? (Talk about diving dedication!) Now, that’s quite a feat, but don’t worry, you won’t need a whale’s stamina for this — just a sense of humor.
Let’s get started with the ultimate underwater comedy tour…
Table of the Funniest Underwater Diving Jokes
1. Why do fish always know how much they weigh?
They have their own scales!
2. What did the ocean say to the diver?
Nothing, it just waved.
3. Why did the scuba diver bring a pencil to the ocean?
To draw some corals!
4. Why don’t divers talk underwater?
It’s hard to have a good conversation with all that pressure.
5. What’s a dolphin’s favorite kind of music?
Something with plenty of scales, of course.
6. Why was the diver always so calm?
He knew he was pretty “shore” of himself.
7. How does the ocean say goodbye?
“Sea” you later!
8. What did one fish say to the other fish on a bad date?
“Stop carping, you’re krill-ing my vibe!”
9. Why are underwater parties the best?
They really go swimmingly!
10. How much did the underwater treasure cost the diver?
A porpoise and some change.
11. Why did the swimmer cross the reef?
To get to the other tide.
12. What’s the favorite dish among underwater spies?
Something “covertly” crabby.
13. I told my diving buddy a joke…
But it went right over his snorkel.
14. Why don’t crabs ever share their food?
Because they’re a little shellfish!
15. What did the reef say when asked about the ocean’s secrets?
“Sorry, that’s way below the surface!”
16. How do eels entertain a crowd?
With “electric” performances!
17. Why do divers hate clams?
Because they always clam up in conversation!
18. Why was the jellyfish always a successful business-fish?
It knew how to go with the current flow.
19. How do divers communicate underwater?
They use bubble letters!
20. What happens when you tell a fish a joke?
You make it bubble with laughter!
21. Why did the diver bring a watch to the ocean floor?
Because he didn’t want to lose track of tide!
22. What’s a lobster’s favorite summer activity?
Shellabration!
23. Why do divers enjoy weddings?
Because love is in the air (and sometimes underwater).
24. What’s a scuba diver’s least favorite vegetable?
Leek, because there’s never a good time for that!
25. How do fish stay up-to-date with trends?
They follow currents.
26. What do you call a rude diver?
Kraken jokes too soon!
27. Why don’t oysters invite outsiders to their parties?
Because they like to keep things under wraps.
28. What did the diver say when he ran into a clownfish?
“You’ve gotta be squidding me!”
29. Why did the diver cycle to the ocean?
Because it was deep-sea worth the trip!
30. Why was the seaweed always gossiping?
It didn’t know how to kelp quiet!
31. What’s a pearl’s favorite subject in school?
Oceanography!
32. Where do divers like to work out?
At the local dive bar!
33. Why are shipwrecks so neat?
They’re a real plunge into history!
34. How does a diver feel after a long dive?
A little tide-ered!
35. Why do underwater volcanoes make great chefs?
They know how to bring the heat and cook with steam.
36. What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships!
37. Why did the diver always feel so empowered underwater?
Because he always had the upper hand fin!
38. What do you call an underwater superhero?
Aquaman? Sea-riously, it’s water to meet ya!
39. What’s the best way to hold your breath?
Don’t. Just tank it!
40. Why didn’t the underwater comedian make it to the finals?
He couldn’t quite land the “whale” punchline.
41. How did the octopus become a music sensation?
It had drumsticks for days!
42. Why don’t sharks ever get lost?
Because they swim by their instincts; they’ve got a nose for this stuff.
43. What does the diver call his pet fish?
Gill-ty pleasure!
44. How do underwater detectives operate?
They work below the surface on every case.
45. Why do scuba divers look so cool?
They’re always fully equipped!
46. Why didn’t the diver want to date the jellyfish?
Because he found her current a little shocking.
47. How do you get an octopus to laugh?
Crack up all eight legs at once!
48. Why was everyone afraid of the deep-sea boss?
Because he was a bit kraken.
49. What do fish do when they finish a game of cards?
They shuffle off into the current.
50. How do you organize a marine party?
You have to plan it “shorely” in advance.
51. Why do divers always become excellent philosophers?
Because they spend so much time thinking in the deep end!
52. How do mollusks stay in touch?
They use shell-phones!
53. Why aren’t whales good at hide-and-seek?
Because they loooove to spout off constantly!
54. What did the sea cucumber say to the sponge at the party?
“Can’t stop soaking up this great atmosphere!”
55. Why do divers excel at board games?
They’re experienced in making the right moves under pressure!
56. What’s a fish’s least favorite day of the week?
Fried-day!
57. Why do underwater explorers make great comedians?
They love being pun-ctual!
58. Why did the squid never invest in the stock market?
Because it didn’t trust that financial tide!
59. What kind of math do fish always excel in?
Algaebra!
60. Why did the diver ask the octopus for help with problems?
It always had a hand (or eight) ready!
Dive right back in for more laughs!
Feeling wave after wave of laughter? If these underwater diving jokes made you giggle, why not share the fun and spread the humor across your social seas? Save this page, send it to a friend, or post your favorite joke on social media.
Whether you’re on land or underwater, there’s always something kriller in the world of puns. Keep diving into JokeAndPun for more rib-tickling amusement!
