Get ready to roll… with laughter! Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu might involve choking out your opponents, but today we’re focusing on choking with laughter.
Did you know that Jiu-Jitsu, which translates to “gentle art,” actually helps teach patience, restraint, and, of course, an appreciation for clever wordplay? It’s only fitting that we pair the intense art of grappling with some lighthearted fun.
Whether you’re a BJJ black belt, a Taekwondo enthusiast, or just dipping your toes into the world of gi’s, grapples, and sweeps, these Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu puns will have you tapping out from sheer hilarity. So tighten your belts—whether you prefer karate, judo, or MMA, this colection is about to get seriously punny!
Table of the Funniest Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Puns
1. Why did the BJJ student refuse to roll with their friend?
They didn’t want to start a submission mission.
2. What’s a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fighter’s favorite snack?
Roll-ups. (Grapplers love their rolls!)
3. Why do BJJ practitioners love the number seven?
Because it’s one submission after six.
4. How does a BJJ fighter like their steak cooked?
Medium rear-naked choke!
5. What’s a BJJ fighter’s favorite kind of music?
Anything with a sick drop!
6. Did you hear about the BJJ practitioner who became a plumber?
He couldn’t stop fixing leaks.
7. What’s the best way to get a Jiu-Jitsu fighter pumped?
Tell them a submission joke—that’ll get them locked in.
8. Why did the BJJ athlete carry a pencil to class?
Because they heard it was full of points.
9. How do you greet a triangle choke?
“Oh, I see what you did there.”
10. What does a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt do on vacation?
They lay prone on the mat-tresses.
11. What did the belt say to the BJJ gi?
“Pull yourself together!”
12. Why don’t BJJ fighters ever write novels?
They’re too busy creating gripping plots.
13. What do you call a BJJ practitioner who’s afraid of rolling?
A nervous wreck.
14. How do Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practitioners keep things fair?
By agreeing to turn the tables—literally.
15. Why did the BJJ white belt fail the test?
Because they couldn’t pass the guard.
16. What’s a black belt’s least favorite kind of weather?
A tornado—they’ve already seen enough rolling storms on the mats.
17. Why did the BJJ student make a bad comedian?
They kept missing their punch lines.
18. What do BJJ fighters eat for breakfast?
Choke-late pancakes! It gives them leverage for the day.
19. Why can’t a BJJ blue belt go fishing?
Because they always let their catches slip.
20. How do BJJ students keep their bodies in top shape?
They get their whey from submissions.
21. Why don’t Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fighters go to school?
They’ve already mastered the roll.
22. What’s a BJJ fighter’s favorite movie genre?
Gripping thrillers!
23. How do you recognize a beginner in a Jiu-Jitsu match?
Their moves are a little white belted.
24. Why did the armbar break up with the rear-naked choke?
Didn’t feel any pressure anymore.
25. What do BJJ practitioners do when they meet their idol?
They try to guard their emotions.
26. What did one belt say to the other?
“Don’t tie yourself in knots over nothing.”
27. How much does a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt weigh?
It depends on their reach and leverage.
28. What’s a BJJ fighter’s favorite holiday destination?
Mount Escape.
29. Why did the BJJ instructor refuse to spar with their students?
They didn’t want to cause any mounting tension.
30. Why did the BJJ player get promoted at work?
They excelled at taking control of every situation.
31. Why don’t BJJ students get caught in bad deals?
They’re great at escapes.
32. What’s a BJJ athlete’s favorite yoga pose?
The guard twist.
33. Why did Jiu-Jitsu fans get excited when they got a new gi?
Because it was a gi-normous deal!
34. What do you call a Jiu-Jitsu fighter who can’t stop telling jokes?
A submission wit.
35. Why did the referee go crazy during the BJJ match?
Too much back-and-forth tension!
36. What did the blue belt say when they kept losing during class?
“This is a real submission-ary crisis.”
37. Why did the BJJ master win the lottery?
Because they were always submitting their winnings!
38. What’s a guard-pass lover’s least favorite dessert?
A sweepstake.
39. Why can’t BJJ fighters ever have secrets?
Because they wrap everything too tightly!
40. What did the Jiu-Jitsu fighter say during karaoke night?
“Let’s roll with the rhythm!”
41. Why did the BJJ practitioner become an artist?
Because they mastered every sketchy position.
42. What’s a BJJ fighter’s least favorite animal?
A wild armbar-acuda.
43. Why do BJJ students always bring extra gear?
Because they’ve mastered packing techniques.
44. How does a Jiu-Jitsu fighter apologize after a rough roll?
They hug it out and say, “No hard feelings, just soft gi.”
45. Why do BJJ players make great friends?
They’re really good at getting close!
46. Why did the guard-pass expert love problem-solving?
Because they’re always thinking a step ahead.
47. Why does a neck crank love math?
It’s always in search of an angle.
48. What do Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fighters write poetry about?
Leverage and loss.
49. Why was the triangle choke feeling anxious?
It was under a lot of pressure.
50. Why do Jiu-Jitsu matches never have a dull moment?
They always keep people on the edge of submission.
51. Why do BJJ belts like attending weddings?
They love tying the knot!
52. How does a BJJ practitioner end a bad joke?
With a punchline takedown.
53. Why did the BJJ student sleep with their gi on?
They wanted to be ready for anything—especially a midnight roll.
54. What’s the secret to a good armbar?
A firm gripson!
55. How did the BJJ fighter win every argument?
They always clinched victory!
56. Why did the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fighter feel uneasy at the zoo?
Too many animals ready to take him to the ground!
57. What did the BJJ player say after tackling their to-do list?
“I’ve submitted everything on time!”
58. How does a Jiu-Jitsu fighter stay humble?
By never under-estimating their opponents in every mount position.
59. Why did the armbar start taking piano lessons?
Because it needed more harmony in its attacks.
60. What’s a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu student’s favorite prank?
A gi-tangle.
61. What did the white belt say when they got promoted?
“Looks like I’m moving up the ranks—one tap at a time.”
62. Why did the Jiu-Jitsu coach love gardening?
Because they knew the best ways to plant a sweep.
63. What do you call an indecisive Jiu-Jitsu fighter?
A grappler stuck in a guard of two minds.
64. Why was the BJJ fighter known for their bad jokes?
Because their sense of humor was on lockdown.
65. What’s a BJJ fighter’s least favorite place to visit?
Rear-naked street.
66. Why did the BJJ kid ace their science test?
They had full control over their angles.
67. How does a BJJ fighter prepare for a storm?
They hunker down into strong guard positions.
68. What’s a BJJ black belt’s dream vacation?
Tightening their grip in far-flung lands.
69. Why did the blue belt bring extra water to class?
Because they planned to sweat through the pressure.
70. What do you call a Jiu-Jitsu practitioner struggling with memory?
A grappler suffering from tie-nesia.
71. Why do BJJ fighters love roller coasters?
Because they love to ride the highs and lows.
72. What’s a BJJ fanatic’s favorite board game?
Mon-gi-opoly.
73. Why did the BJJ practitioner love snowboarding?
Because they nailed every smooth transition.
74. How does a BJJ fighter order coffee?
With extra leverage and no sugar-coat.
75. What does a BJJ fighter say when they’re happy?
“I’m feeling over the mount-ain!”
76. Why did the submission invitation go out to everyone?
Because all grapplers deserved a twist of fate.
77. How do you know a Jiu-Jitsu fighter is late for class?
They missed the first roll call.
78. Why are Jiu-Jitsu tournaments always so exciting?
You never know when someone’s going to get swept off their feet.
79. Why did the BJJ fighter become a coach?
To pass the guard and the knowledge.
80. What do you call a BJJ training camp in the mountains?
A breathtaking retreat.
81. Why couldn’t the BJJ belt stop laughing?
It got tied up in a knot of hilarious self-defense.
82. Why did the mount control want to join the orchestra?
Because they loved being in position to conduct!
83. How did BJJ practitioners celebrate their tournament win?
With a “heel hook” party!
84. Why don’t armbar experts ever drop their phones?
Their grip strength is unbreakable.
85. What do Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practitioners know better than anyone?
The best way to kill time – and options.
86. Why do BJJ pros do well in dancing competitions?
Because they’re always light on their feet and ready to sweep you off yours!
87. What’s a BJJ fighter’s favorite vegetable?
Choke-olate (they try to disguise their veggies).
88. How did the BJJ student explain their bruises?
“I’m just rolling with the punches.”
Keep the Grappling Laughs Going!
If this had you rolling on the mat with laughter, don’t just tap out now! Share these Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu puns with your friends and fellow grapplers. Bookmark JokeAndPun.com for a treasure trove of humor that’s guaranteed to keep you entertained, and keep practicing your rolls—with joke setups or on the mats! Ready for more? Stay tuned for more laughter-filled locks and submissions.
