Bottoms Up! 150 Drunk Puns That Will Have You Tipsy With Laughter

When it comes to humor, drunk puns are a refreshing blend of wit and whimsy that have people laughing out loud. They’re the ultimate conversation starter and perfect for lifting spirits at any gathering.

Interestingly, the concept of alcohol-infused humor dates back centuries, as ancient civilizations often used wine and ale to celebrate festival joys and comedic storytelling. So, gather your friends, pour yourself a drink, and prepare to chuckle through hilarious drunk puns that will leave you intoxicated with laughter.

Mixology of mirth

When it comes to drunk puns, the key ingredient is a clever play on words blended with a touch of alcohol-themed humor. Let’s dive into some puns that are a cocktail for the soul. Enjoy these side-splitting gems!

1. I can’t feel my legs after a night of doing the Hokey Pokey… I guess that’s what it’s all about.
2. Whiskey on the rocks? More like whiskey on the socks!
3. Drunk on love? You better wine yourself up for a wild night!
4. Alcohol you later, gotta run to the bar.
5. Why did the beer go to school? To become a pint of knowledge.
6. Did you hear about the drunk magician? He kept gin and vanishing.
7. You know you’re in a gin-uinely good mood when you’re drunk and happy.
8. Wine not? It’s the weekend!
9. What do you call a sincere vodka compliment? A shot of honesty.
10. Beer without limits is ale in a day’s work.
11. Why did the wine blush? Because it saw the bar naked.
12. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Wisdom worth toasting.
13. What do you call a drunk hangover artist? A Monet!
14. Why don’t skeletons drink beer? They don’t have the guts.
15. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade… or better yet, a lemon drop martini.
16. A rum to remember every drunken night.
17. Whiskey sour? More like whiskey power!
18. I tried to start a hot tea shop yesterday. Until I realized people actually want hot toddies.
19. Why was the rum always on time? Because it was bottom shelf.
20. Tequila may not be the answer, but it’s worth a shot.

Ale be here all week

Whether you’re a beer lover or simply appreciate a good brew, these beer-related drunk puns will surely quench your thirst for comedy. Read on for more giggles and guffaws.

21. Fancy a brewski? You’re ale I need!
22. Every day is beer-illiant when you have ale of a good time.
23. What did the bartender say after losing his job? “Ale be back.”
24. A party without beer is just a well-behaved social gathering.
25. How does beer travel? By brew bus.
26. That beer sure has a lot of head on its shoulders.
27. I wanted to drink a light beer, but it was too heavy.
28. Brew can do it if you believe!
29. Beer makes me hoppy.
30. Don’t worry, beer happy.
31. Where do beers sleep? In bottle cases.
32. Life is brew-tiful when shared over a pint.
33. Why are beers bad at school? Because they cannot focus lager.
34. Brew up some fun this weekend!
35. A well-craft-ed joke is appreciated more with a beer in hand.
36. What’s a beer’s favorite exercise? The Keg-stand.
37. I’d tell you a beer joke, but it’s on tap.
38. Why did the scarecrow drink beer? It needed something to fill its straw.
39. The beer said, ‘You can barley handle me.’
40. There’s no place like foam.

Wine-down with wit

For all the wine enthusiasts, here are some delightfully grape puns that will have you uncorking laughs all night long. Ready to wine-d down?

41. Wine flies when you’re having fun.
42. What did the Grape say when he got stepped on? Nothing, he just let out a little wine!
43. Sip, sip, hooray!
44. It’s ‘pour’ decision making time!
45. Let’s have a glass and make some pour choices.
46. In wine, there’s truth. In beer, there’s strength. In soda, there’s nothing.
47. Call me old fashioned, but I love wine in a fancy glass.
48. More like spirit, wine!
49. Wine a little, laugh a lot.
50. I enjoy wine-ing down after a long day.
51. My therapist says it’s important to practice chillaxing; I do red.
52. Stop and taste the rosé.
53. Wine not join me for some cheese and crackers?
54. Wine improves with age, I improve with wine.
55. Great minds drink alike.
56. What’s the secret to happiness? Wine friends, cheese leave off the judgement.
57. You could say I’ve got grape expectations.
58. No wine-ing, only good times!
59. Age gets better with wine.
60. Wine lovers need a little sip of grapefulness each day.

Spirited humor

Spirited jokes and puns are sure to elevate your mood. Whether you’re a fan of vodka, rum, or tequila, let these jokes lift your spirits high.

61. Vodka-ton of people ask if I’m Russian.
62. Have you tried the new rum diet? It really works, you wake up lighter!
63. Sugar and spice and everything nice… plus a splash of vodka.
64. Screw the driver, pass the screwdriver.
65. You auto tequila lot more of these jokes.
66. Vodka may not be the answer, but it’s worth making a toast.
67. Let the spirit move you closer to the bar.
68. Gin-gle all the way.
69. Make olive decisions with a martini in hand.
70. Save water, drink vodka.
71. Life is better shaken, not stirred.
72. No reason to be blue when there’s a bottle of spirits around.
73. Let’s get fizzical with a gin and tonic.
74. What theater play do spirits love? Les Ginsérables.
75. Liquor, it’s always a good spirit guide.
76. Say tequila without the L. Now you’re saying, “Tequiya.”
77. To be FAIR, whisky said he is willing.
78. At alcohol therapy sessions, the spirits always agree.
79. The secret to life is a pinch of salt, lime, and tequila.
80. Gin and bear it.

Cocktail comedy

Prepare to stir and shake with laughter as these cocktail-themed jokes flow freely. They’ll mix a little bit of humor into your day.

81. It’s tempting to always say yes to cocktails: “Martini or Mojito?”
82. Keep calm and dai-quiri on.
83. Have a cocktail and forget your bartender past.
84. Don’t be bitter, have a cocktail!
85. Using gin to solve all life’s problems.
86. The secret ingredient in my cocktails? Imagination.
87. Margarita – because you deserve a little ‘me’ time.
88. Stop, muddle and roll out more mojitos!
89. Stirring up trouble with every sip.
90. A cocktail a day keeps the stress away.
91. Why don’t oranges ever get lonely? Because they get juiced up.
92. Mixing it up one drink at a time.
93. Bloody Mary, marry me!
94. Old fashioned? I prefer timeless!
95. Time flies when you’re having rum punches.
96. If life gives you limes, make margaritas.
97. Cosmo, because you know you earned it.
98. Drink rum-antic cocktails with someone special.
99. A good cocktail recipe is worth its salt.
100. Champagne logic: sparkle every day.
101. No sour faces with a whiskey sour!
102. Let’s get this par-tini started.
103. Daiquiris: The official drink of pretend vacations.
104. Muddled thoughts and clear cocktails.
105. Live in the gin lane.
106. Mix and sip, until it’s the right blend.
107. Love potion? Just a well-made cocktail.
108. Bee’s knees: the only drink with a sting.
109. Drinking champagne makes you a bubbly personality.
110. Shaken or stirred, you can’t go wrong.

Storytelling Drunk Jokes

1. The Talking Dog
   Bob stumbled into a bar, already a few drinks deep, and noticed a dog sitting on a stool next to the bartender. “Can your dog talk?” he slurred. The bartender nodded. Bob leaned over and asked the dog, “What’s on top of a house?” The dog barked, “Roof!” Bob laughed, “What’s on a tree?” The dog barked, “Bark!” Impressed, Bob asked, “Who’s the greatest baseball player of all time?” The dog barked, “Ruth!” Enraged by what he thought was a scam, Bob stormed out. The dog turned to the bartender and said, “Maybe I should’ve said DiMaggio?”
2. The Elevator Ride
   Samantha had one too many martinis and found herself trying to get into an elevator. As the doors closed, she saw a sign that said, “Maximum Load: 12 Persons.” She looked around and saw she was alone. She giggled and muttered, “Guess I’ll have to get out if 11 more people get in.”
3. The Taxi Ride
   Tom, extremely drunk, hailed a taxi and asked to be taken to the zoo. The cab driver was puzzled but complied. Upon arrival, Tom got out, looked around, and said, “This isn’t the bar I was looking for!” The driver replied, “You said the zoo!” Tom hiccuped, “Well, it’s not much different.”
4. The Wobbly Walk
   After a wild night, Jenny wobbled her way home. She decided to take a shortcut through the park and tripped over a bench. As she lay on the ground, she looked up at the stars and slurred, “Is this the part where the hero gets back up?”
5. The Silent Toast
   At a family gathering, Grandpa Joe, who was known for his love of whiskey, raised his glass for a toast. But he was so tipsy that he couldn’t remember what he wanted to say. So he simply said, “To… well, let’s just drink!”
6. The Bar Bet
   A man walked into a bar and said, “I bet you $50 I can bite my own ear!” The bartender, thinking it was impossible, took the bet. The man took out his false teeth and bit his ear. Laughing, the bartender paid up, and the man staggered out.
7. The ATM Confession
   Late at night, a drunk man stumbled to an ATM and started talking to it. “You don’t judge me, do you?” he said. “You don’t care if I spend all my money on booze.” He then patted the machine and said, “You’re the only friend I need.”
8. The Pizza Delivery
   Mike, after a night out, called for a pizza. When the delivery guy arrived, Mike paid and then tried to tip him with an unopened can of beer. The delivery guy chuckled and said, “I’ll take it, but only because it’s cold.”
9. The Drinking Contest
   Two friends, Jake and Tim, entered a drinking contest. Jake was confident he would win, but after several rounds, Tim was still going strong. Jake asked, “What’s your secret?” Tim replied, “I practice with water during the week.”
10. The Sleepy Bar
    Emma was so drunk that she fell asleep at the bar. The bartender gently woke her and said, “You can’t sleep here.” Emma groggily replied, “I wasn’t sleeping, I was just meditating on the next drink.”
11. The Talking Bottle
    Lisa was convinced her bottle of wine was talking to her. “You’re my best friend,” she whispered. Her friend, laughing, said, “You know it’s time to stop drinking when the bottle starts talking back.”
12. The Drunk Philosopher
    Mark, in a deep drunken state, proclaimed to the bar, “Life is like a drink. Sometimes it’s strong, sometimes it’s sweet, and sometimes it’s just plain watered down.”
13. The Spelling Bee
    In a drunken dare, John entered a spelling bee at the bar. His word was “inebriated.” He laughed and said, “I-N-B-R… aw, forget it. Just give me another drink.”
14. The Misunderstanding
    Sarah, drunk at a wedding, mistook the groom’s father for the groom. She gave him a big hug and said, “You’re such a lucky guy!” The groom’s father, bemused, replied, “I’ve been lucky for 30 years, dear.”
15. The Haunted House
    Dave, after a night of heavy drinking, stumbled into a house that looked exactly like his. He crawled into bed, only to be woken by a stranger shouting, “Who are you?” Dave replied, “I’m the ghost of bad decisions.”
16. The Alarm Clock
    Megan, after a wild night, set her alarm for 6 AM. When it rang, she groaned, “Why did I set this torture device?” She then realized it was PM and laughed, “Guess I’ll have a nightcap.”
17. The Late-Night Snack
    Brian was so drunk he tried to microwave his shoes, thinking they were pizza. When his roommate asked what he was doing, Brian replied, “I’m trying to make them fit better.”
18. The Karaoke King
    Tom, after a few too many drinks, decided he was the king of karaoke. He grabbed the mic and started singing the alphabet song. When he finished, he proudly said, “Nailed it!”
19. The Drunken Declaration
    Julie, after several cocktails, stood on a table and declared, “I love everyone here!” The bartender shouted, “Get down from there!” Julie replied, “I love you too!”
20. The Drunk Detective
    A very drunk man staggered into the police station and said, “I’d like to report a theft. My wallet has been stolen!” The officer asked, “When did you last see it?” The man replied, “Before my first drink.”

Quick Drunk Jokes

21. Why did the drunk refuse to leave the bar? He couldn’t see the exit sign—it was blurry.
22. What did the bartender say to the drunk mathematician? “Stop drinking and derive safely.”
23. Why don’t drunks play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding with a lampshade on your head.
24. What’s a drunk’s favorite type of exercise? Barbell lifts.
25. How do you keep a drunk in suspense? I’ll tell you tomorrow.
26. Why did the drunk go to the bank? To get some “liquid” assets.
27. What do drunks and computer keyboards have in common? They both have a lot of shifts.
28. What’s a drunk’s favorite kind of shoes? High spirits.
29. How did the drunk pass the time at the party? With a whiskey business card.
30. Why don’t drunks like running marathons? They prefer short “shots.”
31. What’s a drunk’s favorite type of fish? A bar-racuda.
32. How do drunks do math? They add shots, subtract balance, and multiply stories.
33. What’s a drunk’s favorite game? Tequila Mockingbird.
34. How do you know when a ghost is drunk? When it’s in high spirits.
35. What’s a drunk’s favorite movie? The Booze Brothers.
36. Why don’t drunks play cards? They always get shuffled.
37. What’s a drunk’s favorite book? Fifty Shades of Grey Goose.
38. How does a drunk solve problems? With a solution.
39. Why did the drunk bring a broom to the bar? To sweep away the hangover.
40. What do you call a drunk with a dictionary? A bar-arian.

Cheers to sharing these puns!

We hope you loved these 110 drunk puns and that they’ve added a splash of humor to your day! Laughter indeed is a surefire way to lighten up any situation. Don’t be shy—share these puns with friends, family, and fellow pun enthusiasts to keep the giggles flowing. Remember, if you ever need more booze-infused banter, bookmark jokeandpun.com for your go-to source of humor. Bottoms up, and happy punning!