101 Horror Puns That Are Frightfully Funny

Are you a brave soul who loves a good laugh interspersed with chills and thrills? You’ve come to the right place! Get cozy, and perhaps keep the lights on, as we dive into a realm of spine-tingling humor where ghouls, ghosts, and goblins get their giggles on.

Did you know that many consider Horace Walpole’s novel, The Castle of Otranto (published in 1764), to be the first true horror novel. It features all the classic gothic horror elements we know today, including a spooky castle, a brooding atmosphere, and even a mysterious ghost!

So, in honor of puncturing your fears and filling them with laughter, we present these horror puns that are frightfully funny and endlessly sharable.

Ghoulish giggles from the graveyard

When the undead come to life, you can bet they have some jokes up their sleeves.

1. Why did the zombie become a chef? He wanted a taste of his own cooking.
2. Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
3. How do skeletons call their friends? On the tele-bone.
4. What do you call a vampire who sings? A rock’n’roll biter.
5. Why did the ghost go to the party? He heard it was going to be a boo-last.
6. How did the witch become so rich? She made a killing in real estate.
7. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room? The living room.
8. Why don’t ghosts have body odor? Because they’re incorpore-scent.
9. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
10. Why do mummies have such a hard time keeping secrets? They always end up being unwrapped.

Spine-chilling humor

Step cautiously into dark corners filled with ghastly jokes and terrifyingly funny quips.

11. What did the ghost bride wear to her wedding? A boo-kini.
12. How do you get rid of a ghost? Sell the haunted house real cheap.
13. What did one coffin say to the other? Is that you coffin, or is it just me?
14. What’s the vampire’s favorite type of ship? A blood vessel.
15. How many witches do you need to change a light bulb? Just one, but she’ll take forever cackling about it.
16. Why do skeletons hate the rain? It goes right through them.
17. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
18. Why did the werewolf stay indoors during a full moon? He had a hairy situation to avoid.
19. What does a ghost use to wash its hair? Sham-boo.
20. Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.

Hilarious haunted house humor

Brace yourself for jokes that will make you scream with laughter.

21. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie.
22. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
23. What do skeletons say before they begin dining? Bone appetit!
24. Why was the ghoul so good at school? He had ghost-writers for his essays.
25. Why don’t vampires get sick? They’re always avoiding the sun.
26. What did the werewolf put in his coffee? Screamer and howl.
27. Why do zombies hate winter? They get frostbite!
28. What’s a vampire’s least favorite part of the meal? The steak.
29. Why are witches good at casting spells? Because they’re spell-binding!
30. How did the skeleton meet his friend? On an online gravestone.

Playful poltergeist puns

Prepare for a spectral dose of ghostly humor that’s sure to raise spirits.

31. Why did the ghost feel cold? He was under the weather.
32. What’s a ghost’s favorite street? A dead-end.
33. Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.
34. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
35. Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
36. What’s a witch’s favorite spell? Hex-traordinary.
37. Why did the mummy go to school? He wanted to be a wrap-star.
38. How do you write a book about vampires? By blood, sweat, and fears.
39. Why don’t monsters eat ghosts? They taste like sheet.
40. What’s a poltergeist’s favorite board game? Hide and shriek.

Creepy quips with classic monsters

Classic monsters bring the frights and the fun in equal measure — get ready to laugh yourself to death.

41. What do you call a skeleton’s game? A bloodsport.
42. Why did the monster go on a diet? Because he couldn’t stop goblin’ food.
43. Why are haunted houses never on the market? Because they’re always noise complaints.
44. Why did Dracula get promoted? Because he was always vamping things up.
45. What’s a werewolf’s favorite exercise? Howler-cising.
46. Why are ghosts so bad at lying? Because you can see right through them.
47. What do mummies call their friends? Wrap buddies.
48. Why do zombies love woodworking? They can really sink their teeth into it.
49. What’s a vampire’s favorite building? A blood bank.
50. How do ghouls spend their free time? Making boo-boos.
51. What do skeletons use to remove stains? Bony soap.
52. Why do bats hold grudges? They never forgive and fly away.
53. What do vampires take when they are sick? Coffin syrups.
54. What do witches use in hotel rooms? Magic broom service.
55. Why did the zombie get a promotion? His job was dead boring, but he brought it to life.
56. Why won’t ghosts ride elevators? It lifts their spirits too much.
57. How do you organize a ghost party? You boogie down.
58. What do vampires never order from Starbucks? A latte!
59. Why was the mummy always invited to parties? He was the wrap star.
60. Why do werewolves never make good stand-up comedians? They always bomb.

Terrorizingly good vampire jokes

Sink your teeth into these vampire puns that are guaranteed to give you a bite of laughter.

61. Why do vampires love baseball? They love to catch a good bat.
62. What do vampires use to make tea? Blood bags.
63. What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream? Neapoli-tomb.
64. Why did Dracula start a cooking school? He had a knack for it.
65. How do vampire programmers code? In C+Dracula.
66. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? Stake and garlic.
67. Why don’t vampires go to art galleries? Too many blood donors.
68. What’s a vampire’s favorite candy? Blood fudge.
69. Why do vampires love night school? They are night owls.
70. What’s a vampire’s idea of a great party? A blood bash.
71. How do you greet a vampire? Fang you very much.
72. Why don’t vampires get cavities? They have enamel armor.
73. Where do vampires keep their money? The blood bank.
74. What’s a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation? The blood bus.
75. What do you get if you cross a vampire and a mummy? A blood-curdling wrap.
76. Why did the vampire get detention? For biting off more than he could chew.
77. How do vampires conduct business? They blood-suck at it.
78. How do vampires differ from humans? They only care about themselves.
79. What is a vampire’s favorite sport? Bat-minton.
80. What do you call a vampire’s pet dog? A bloodhound.
81. What type of clubs do vampires join? Fang-tastic societies.
82. Why did the vampire avoid mirrors? They can’t reflect on their life.
83. Which vampire has the most manners? Count Polite.
84. What’s a vampire’s favorite plant? Deadly nightshade.
85. What kind of TV shows do vampires watch? Blood series.
86. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a chef? A blood pudding.
87. Why was the vampire so relaxed? Because he was drained.
88. Where do vampires like to vacation? Lake Erie.
89. What’s a vampire’s favorite snack? Blood chips.
90. How do vampires prefer their drinks? Blood-tapped and tendrilled.
91. Why did Dracula hate math? The stakes were too high.
92. What do you call an articulate vampire? A pain in the neck.
93. Why did the vampire sit in the shade? To avoid sunburn.
94. Why did the vampire turn into broth? He loved his soup-tacular bloodpunch.
95. What should you say when you meet a vampire poet? You’ve just been staked.
96. Why don’t vampires use email? They prefer fang-mail.
97. How do vampires start their emails? Blood greetings.
98. What’s a vampire’s favorite pet? A bat dog.
99. Why did the vampire jog? To keep his blood flowing.
100. Why did the vampire become a lawyer? He loved to bite into cases.
101. Why don’t vampires play sports? They can’t handle the sun.

Horrifyingly funny, right? Share the pun!

Ready to keep the fun rolling? Laughter is the best medicine, especially when delivered with a spooky twist. So why not terrify your friends in the best way possible and share these hilarious horror puns with them?

Bookmark our site, Joke and Pun, so you’ll be the life (or death) of every party. Let’s spread the spooktacular laughter across the internet, one hauntingly hilarious pun at a time!