If you find yourself in a pun-dicament, don’t fret – here’s a dossier filled with some whimsical and clever wordplay inspired by the suave superspy, James Bond. Unleashing a volley of side-splitting puns that you won’t need a licence to kill for laughter, let’s dive straight into this treasury of James Bond puns – just for your eyes only!
Table of the Best James Bond Puns
1. Why did James Bond go to the bakery?
Because he heard they have a great selection of rolls, Royce.
2. Which drink does James Bond avoid?
Tea, he fears it’ll make him feel stir-crazy!
3. What’s James Bond’s favorite car?
Evidently, an Aston Martin-ilogue.
4. Why did James Bond’s espresso order surprise the barista?
Because he asked for it “ground, not beaned”.
5. What type of papers does 007 write?
A-spy-ring journalism, of course!
6. How does Bond like his films?
He likes them a little shaken, not stirred.
7. What do you call a James Bond action figure?
A small medium at large!
8. What’s MI6’s favorite music genre?
Secret Agent Man-tunes!
9. How does Bond begin his gardening?
With a licence to till!
10. Why did James Bond stay at the roulette table?
Because on the next spin, he was betting on double-O-seven!
11. What would James Bond be if he was a painter?
A man of many brush-strokes.
12. Why does James Bond rarely back down?
Because he’s never the retreat type!
13. Where does 007 like to shop the most?
At “From Russia With Love” boutiques!
14. What’s the best way to describe James Bond at a social event?
He’s the Bond-bon of the ball!
15. What’s Bond’s favourite part of a joke?
The “punch line, Mr. Bond.”
16. Where’s the best place for Bond to hide?
In a crowd. There’s safety in numbers, after all…
17. How does 007 take his eggs?
Beaten, not whipped!
18. What’s James Bond’s less glamorous job?
Certified Flexible Spend Account supervisor or the FSA agent!
19. Why does Bond always carry a pen?
For those moments when he has to draw his weapon!
20. What would Bond say to a mission in the jungle?
“I’m up for a little sava-and-and-sava!”
21. Why does Bond always know his surroundings?
Because he never leaves any stone N-turner-ed!
22. Why is Bond a good listener?
He all-ears towards any sound!
23. How does 007 keep his suits wrinkle-free?
By iron, not steam!
24. What do you call when James Bond takes a break?
A brief in-CASINO-yal.
25. What would you say about James Bond’s ability to make friends?
He Bonds quickly!
26. Why does James Bond never lose at cards?
Because he knows when to hold ’em, knows when to fold ’em!
27. When does 007 go to bed?
When he’s done with the Spy-light savings time!
28. How does James Bond like his steaks?
Sear-ed, not broil-ed.
29. What race does James Bond always win?
The arms race!
30. What happens when Bond plays cricket?
He hits a Bond-ary every time!
Bond-ing over Laughter: Until Next Time
This concludes our bubbly Bond-fueled pun parade. We hope these James Bond puns have left a smile on your face and perhaps given you a new, pun-tastic way to look at our beloved British super spy. Whether it’s a social function or a text thread with your friends, drop one of these puns into the conversation to light up the atmosphere with laughter.
If you’ve enjoyed this magnificently punny adventure, don’t forget to share it on your social channels and return to our website for your regular dose of joy. Stay tuned, because we have got more wit, humor, and grand pun slams lined up just for you!
