Kidney stones are no joke—well, except when they are! While passing one might feel like an impossible feat worthy of applause and sympathy cards, it turns out, there’s a humorous side to this otherwise painful experience. Thousands of people undergo kidney stone removal every year, and although it’s rarely a pleasant process, we figured you could use a bit of levity.
Speaking of fun, here’s a crazy fact: the largest kidney stone ever recorded weighed more than a coconut! Yep! Try passing that one. But don’t worry, we’ll help you pass the time with these hilarious kidney stone removal puns that will tickle your funny bone—or should we say, funny kidney?
Without further ado, let’s dive right into puns that will make you want to ‘pee’ your pants! (Too much? Oh well, we’re just getting started.)
Table of the Funniest Kidney Stone Removal Puns
1. Why did the kidney stone get a fancy job?
Because it loved a good grinding!
2. What did the kidney stone say on its blind date?
“You’re just my type, O-positive.”
3. How do kidney stones make phone calls?
They use a cell signal!
4. Why do kidney stones never get lost?
They always follow the urethra road.
5. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite board game?
“Boulder-dash!”
6. What did the kidney stone say when it popped out of nowhere?
“I guess I rock your world, huh?”
7. Why are kidneys terrible at telling jokes?
Their punchlines always seem a little too hard to pass.
8. How did the kidney stone propose?
It “rocked” up with a diamond ring.
9. Why did the kidney stone start a band?
It had great chemistry!
10. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite kind of music?
Hard rock, obviously.
11. Why are kidney stones such good friends?
They’ll always stick around through thick and thin.
12. Why is a kidney stone like a bad boss?
It puts a lot of pressure on you.
13. How do kidney stones practice mindfulness?
They focus on passing through the moment.
14. Why don’t kidney stones appraise well?
Because they’re worthless minerals!
15. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite holiday?
Labor Day… for obvious reasons.
16. What did one kidney say to the other during a tough time?
“I’ve got your back.”
17. Why don’t kidney stones hang out with gallstones?
Too much competition for attention!
18. What do kidney stones order at the bar?
“Crushed ice, please!”
19. Why did the kidney stone want to play soccer?
Because it’s used to getting kicked around!
20. How do you know when a kidney stone has had too much?
It reaches its breaking point!
21. Why is passing a kidney stone like a marathon?
Both involve endurance, sweat, and sometimes… tears.
22. What did the doctor say to the kidney stone patient?
“We’ll remove it—no hard feelings.”
23. Why don’t kidney stones take taxis?
Because they prefer Uber-e-thras!
24. How do kidney stones feel about relationships?
They tend to break up easily.
25. Why do kidney stones love rock concerts?
Because they can relate to all the pressure.
26. What’s a kidney’s favorite compliment?
“You really rock my world!”
27. Why was the kidney stone feeling salty?
Too much sodium in its diet.
28. Why don’t kidneys ever throw surprise parties?
Because they have terrible stone faces.
29. What does a kidney stone do when it feels uncomfortable?
It just breaks down.
30. Why do doctors love dealing with kidney stones?
Because it’s a problem they can flush away.
31. Why are kidney stones such introverts?
They spend most of their time bottled up.
32. What did the kidney stone say to the bladder?
“Here’s my exit strategy.”
33. Why did the kidneys break up with the stomach?
Because too many stones got in the way.
34. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite social media platform?
RockTok!
35. Why did the kidney stone become a comedian?
Because it was a real gem—just hard to digest!
36. How do kidney stones stay so hard?
They’re on a strict mineral diet.
37. Why are kidney stones bad at team sports?
They can’t pass when it matters most.
38. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite type of exercise?
Crunches!
39. Why don’t kidney stones wear watches?
Because it’s always their time to go.
40. How do kidney stones keep their cool?
With lots of liquid courage!
41. Why do kidney stones hate socializing?
Because the pressure is just too much.
42. What’s a kidney stone’s worst nightmare?
Getting flushed and forgotten.
43. Why did the kidney stone become a professor?
It had a solid understanding of science.
44. Why were two kidney stones always fighting?
They both wanted to be number one!
45. What did the kidney stone say as it was finally passed out?
“Freedom never felt so sweet!”
46. Why are kidney stones always skipping school?
Because they’re too hard to pass.
47. What did the kidney stone say when it had no more fight left?
“I’m feeling drained.”
48. Why did the kidney stone go on vacation?
To relieve some pressure!
49. What’s a kidney stone’s least favorite dessert?
Rocky Road.
50. How do kidney stones become famous?
They just keep rolling until people notice.
51. What do kidney stones and bad internet connections have in common?
They both make it impossible to get through smoothly!
52. What did the kidney stone get as a birthday gift?
A soft pillow to pass out on.
53. Why do kidney stones make terrible guests?
They always leave you in agony when they exit.
54. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite breakfast food?
Hard-boiled eggs!
55. Why do kidney stones love bad jokes?
They’re used to being groaned at!
56. What did the kidney stone say to its friend?
“It’s about to be a rough ride.”
57. Why don’t kidneys hang out with other organs much?
They’re always dealing with rock-hard issues.
58. Why are kidney stones always so serious?
Because they just don’t find anything soft and cushy!
59. How do you motivate a kidney stone to move on?
Tell it there’s light at the end of the tunnel!
60. Why are kidney stones so expensive?
Because breaking them up costs an arm and a leg.
61. Why was the kidney stone going to space?
It needed a little break from all the pressure.
62. Why did the kidney stone hate riddles?
Because it’s already dealing with many unsolved problems.
63. Why do kidney stones hate comedians?
They’ve been the butt of the joke too long.
64. Why don’t kidney stones believe in love?
It always ends in heartbreak… or a shred.
65. What’s a kidney stone’s least favorite TV show?
Breaking Bad.
66. Why are kidney stones always misunderstood?
Because they’re a hard pill to pass.
67. Why did the kidney stones go viral?
Because they really rolled out some hard news.
68. Why did the kidney stone refuse a spa day?
It didn’t want to soften up.
69. Why do kidney stones hate job interviews?
They’re under too much pressure already!
70. What did the kidney stone say to its X-ray?
“See you on the other side.”
71. Why do kidney stones constantly get ghosted?
They’re just too hard to deal with.
72. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite meditation app?
“Calm”—because it sure needs it.
73. Why were kidney stones trending on Twitter?
They shared a scandalous passage!
74. Why do kidney stones love drama?
Because every exit is a spectacle.
75. What did the kidney stone whisper in your ear?
“I’ve got your back… and your urethra.”
Pass these puns on (just don’t pass any stones!)
And there you have it—kidney stone removal puns that will make you laugh so hard you might forget about that nagging twinge in your side! While no one enjoys the pain of kidney stones, at least we can all share a giggle or two. After all, laughter is the best medicine (just behind proper hydration and a balanced diet, of course).
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