Who needs to watch a police procedural drama when you have original humor tailored to make you laugh uproariously? Indeed, police humor can be arrestingly funny and even if you’re not in law enforcement, you can certainly appreciate a good badge-themed quip.
So, whether you’re a cop who appreciates a good chuckle or someone who loves cop-themed humor, this hit list of 100 police jokes are bundled to keep you in stitches!
Did you know that the first female police officer in the world was Alice Stebbins Wells, hired by the Los Angeles Police Department in 1910? Now get ready to cuff yourself to these hilarious police puns that are guaranteed to make you laugh so hard, you’ll need to be booked for disorderly conduct!
Table of the Funniest Police Puns
The Night Stick Comedy Show
1. How does a police officer break an awkward silence at a party? He arrests the lull.
2. Why did the tomato turn red when it saw a cop? Because it saw the salad dressing!
3. How do police cats stop crimes? They use purr-suasion.
4. What’s a police officer’s favorite type of music? Cop-era.
5. Have you heard about the cop who loved knitting? He was always on the case of the purl-oiner.
Nailed By Wit
6. Why was the computer cold at the Eyewitness station? It left its Windows open!
7. Why did the cop sit on the toilet? To do some undercover work.
8. What do you call a clairvoyant cop who has nabbed several criminals? An a-rested development psychic cop.
9. How do police greet each other? “Hey there, Cop-a-feel.”
10. Have you heard about the crime that happened in an elevator? Well, it’s wrong on so many levels.
Comedy Jailhouse Rock
11. Why did the police officer get a metal rod implanted in his leg? Because he wanted to be a beat cop.
12. Have you heard about the chili pepper that became a Police officer? It got jalapeño business!
13. What do you call a policeman in bed? An undercover cop.
14. Why did the lady break up with her police officer boyfriend? She was tired of him saying he’d been undercover too many times.
15. How does a cop keep his pants up? With a legal belt.
Chuckles From The Precinct
16. Why did the cop sit on the baseball? He wanted to get to the bottom of it.
17. What does a cop do when he’s too noisy? He gets a sound conviction.
18. Why was the belt arrested? It was holding up a pair of pants.
19. How does a cop light up his house? With a police siren.
20. What do you say to a policeman playing football? Get a good kick out of it!
Tales From The Beat
21. Why did the cop carry a pencil? To draw a gun.
22. What did the grape say when the officer stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
23. Why did the cop join the choir? He heard there was some arresting harmony.
24. What did the undercover traffic cop disguised as a mime say? You have the right to remain silent.
25. What do you call police dogs that play the drums? Bark-and-roll.
More Cop Laughs
26. Why did the cop jump into the river? He wanted to go undercover.
27. What do you call a bed that a cop sleeps in? The long arm of the law.
28. Why did the cop wear glasses during the interrogation? He wanted to do a thorough examination.
29. What did the cop say to his belly button? You’re under a vest!
30. Why do cops make good volleyball players? They know the drill.
Last Round of Laughs
31. Have you heard about the chatty police officer who interrogated me? He grilled me.
32. Why did the cop go to the baseball game? He heard someone had stolen a base.
33. What do you call a cop who lost his whistle? A sound officer.
34. What’s a cop’s favorite kitchen appliance? A slow cooker! They love a long, simmering case.
35. Why did the cop go to school? He wanted to be a little more arresting.
36. Why would a policewoman make a good matchmaker? She keeps busting people together.
37. What do you call a policeman who doesn’t wear underwear? An officer with nothing to hide!
38. Why don’t police officers play hide and seek? Because good cops always show up when they are called.
39. Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long.
40. Why did the cop sleep with his badge? He was on night duty.
Over Time Police Puns
- Why did the police officer go to the art gallery? To catch a sketchy character.
- What do you call a police officer’s favorite shoe? A law-fers.
- Why did the police officer go to music school? To learn how to beat!
- How do police officers stay in shape? They do criminal squats.
- Why did the police officer get promoted? He was arresting!
- What’s a police officer’s favorite drink? A cop-a-chino.
- Why did the police officer stay calm during the crisis? Because he was an officer and a gentleman.
- What’s a police officer’s favorite game? Cop-scotch.
- How did the police officer solve the case of the missing donuts? He followed the glaze.
- Why did the police officer go to the gym? To work on his arrest.
- What’s a police officer’s favorite dessert? Copcakes.
- Why did the police officer get a dog? To have a paw-tner in crime-fighting.
- What do you call a police officer who loves to garden? A copse.
- Why did the police officer bring a ladder to work? To crack some high-profile cases.
- What did the police officer say to the mischievous plant? You’re under a-rest.
- How do police officers charge their phones? They plug them into the crime scene.
- Why did the police officer write a book? To detail his arresting tales.
- What do you call a police officer who loves coffee? A brew-cop.
- Why did the police officer always carry a pen? To write citations.
- What do you call a police officer’s favorite fish? A copperfish.
- Why did the police officer become a chef? To serve and protect meals.
- What do you call a police officer’s favorite tool? A cop-y machine.
- Why did the police officer go to the bakery? To catch a doughnut thief.
- What’s a police officer’s favorite type of clothing? A uniform.
- Why did the police officer join a band? To play arresting tunes.
- How do police officers communicate with each other? On their cop-phones.
- What do you call a police officer who solves mysteries? A clue-t cop.
- Why did the police officer visit the doctor? To get a check-up on his arrest.
- What do you call a police officer who tells jokes? A comedi-cop.
- Why did the police officer start a garden? To plant evidence.
- What’s a police officer’s favorite candy? Cop drops.
- Why did the police officer get a pet cat? To catch mouse-thieves.
- What do you call a police officer who loves the ocean? A cop-tain.
- Why did the police officer cross the road? To catch the chicken on the other side.
- What do you call a police officer who loves puzzles? A piece-cop.
- Why did the police officer go to the library? To check out some law books.
- What’s a police officer’s favorite holiday? Arrest-mas.
- Why did the police officer go to the circus? To see the arresting acts.
- What do you call a police officer who loves the cold? A freeze-cop.
- Why did the police officer get a new car? To patrol in style.
- What do you call a police officer’s favorite board game? Clue-do.
- Why did the police officer become an actor? To play arresting roles.
- What do you call a police officer’s favorite fruit? A copper-berry.
- Why did the police officer go to the zoo? To catch some wild criminals.
- What’s a police officer’s favorite sport? Arrest-ling.
- Why did the police officer get a new job? To enforce the law in a new way.
- What do you call a police officer’s favorite vegetable? Cop-percorn.
- Why did the police officer start a blog? To share his arresting stories.
- What’s a police officer’s favorite type of bread? Cop-rn bread.
- Why did the police officer go to the park? To catch some fresh air.
- What do you call a police officer’s favorite song? Arrested Development.
- Why did the police officer get a new bike? To patrol on two wheels.
- What do you call a police officer’s favorite flower? Cop-sey daisy.
- Why did the police officer go to the farm? To catch some hay-thieves.
- What’s a police officer’s favorite movie genre? Crime-dramas.
- Why did the police officer go to the restaurant? To catch a meal.
- What do you call a police officer’s favorite hobby? Cop-sle building.
- Why did the police officer go to the fair? To catch some fun.
- What’s a police officer’s favorite type of cheese? Cop-ermint.
- Why did the police officer get a new phone? To stay connected on the beat.
A Wrap-up to the Police Comedy Stakeout!
Hopefully, these light-hearted jokes have tickled your funny bone and given you a laugh or two. Remember, there’s no harm in a few chuckles, even when the law is involved. If these police jokes have brightened up your day, share the joy with your friends, family, or perhaps with a police officer you know. Who knows, it might just make their day too!
Bookmark our website for more arrestingly funny content, and feel free to let us know which joke or pun made you laugh the most!
