Who says a trip to the zoo can’t be a rip-roaring good time without even leaving your couch? Welcome to an animal kingdom of humor where the wildest creatures come together to tickle your funny bone.
Believe it or not, zoo jokes were originally chuckled by the zookeepers themselves long before they escaped the enclosures and ran wild on the internet.
Did you know that the oldest zoo in the world is in Vienna, Austria? It was founded in 1752 by Emperor Francis I.That’s over 270 years of animal conservation and entertainment!
From majestic tiger to sophisticated elephants, we’ve rounded up a whole safari of witty one-liners sure to make you giggle and guffaw. So, sit back, relax, and prepare to be wildly entertained!
Table of the Best Zoo Jokes
1. What do you call an old zoo?
A Jurassic Ark.
2. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
3. What do you get when you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
A terrified postman.
4. Why did the zookeeper put Tylenol in the ostrich enclosure?
For a pain in the neck.
5. Why do elephants never use computers?
They’re scared of the mouse.
6. What animals are on legal documents at the zoo?
Seals.
7. What’s a crocodile’s favorite game?
Snap.
8. Why did the orangutan fail its exam?
Too many monkey business distractions.
9. How do you fit more pigs on the farm?
Build a sty-scraper.
10. Why did the panda like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
11. What’s a cat’s favorite magazine at the zoo?
Good Mousekeeping.
12. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
13. What’s smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.
14. What kind of books do snakes read?
Hiss-tory books.
15. Why don’t sheep join clubs?
Because they hate being labeled, “Party Animals.”
16. Why was the zookeeper a great baseball player?
He threw snakes like fastballs.
17. Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
18. What do you call a group of musical whales?
Orca-stra.
19. Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
Because if they lifted both, they’d fall over.
20. Why don’t zebras like fast food?
They can’t catch it.
21. What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a snake?
A jump rope.
22. How did the rabbit feel after winning the race?
Unbe-leaf-able.
23. Why did the giraffe break up with his girlfriend?
She was too short-tempered.
24. What kind of shoes do all spies at the zoo wear?
Sneak-ers.
25. Why did the scientist bring a bear to the lab?
For the gummy bear experiment.
26. Why did the owl invite his friends?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
27. What’s a penguin’s favorite relative?
Aunt-Arctic.
28. How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
29. Why did the mammoth go extinct?
Too many mammoth mistakes.
30. Why don’t koalas hang out with the other bears?
They don’t meet the koalafications.
31. What’s a gorilla’s favorite drink?
Ape-ricot juice.
32. What do you call a lion at the North Pole?
Lost.
33. What advice do you give a worried zoo animal?
Paw-sitive thinking.
34. Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
35. What do you call a fish who practices medicine?
A sturgeon.
36. Why did the dolphin fail his final?
He pulled a shark fin.
37. Why was the horse a great actor?
He always played his part to a T.
38. Why did the snake get a job at the zoo?
Because he was hiss-terious.
39. Why was the pelican the final act in the zoo talent show?
He was beak-cause.
40. What do you call an elephant that catches criminals?
Cop-ephant.
41. Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
42. What do whales eat for an after-school snack?
Fish and ships.
43. Why did the wolf meditate?
Inner howling.
44. What do you call a kangaroo in the North Pole?
Lostroo.
45. Why did the monkey like the computer?
It found the mouse very engaging.
46. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
47. How do crabs call each other?
On their shell phones.
48. Why did the owl get promoted?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
49. Why doesn’t a hippopotamus play any instruments?
Because he’s too hippo-critical about practicing.
50. What’s a cow’s favorite holiday?
Moo Year’s Eve.
51. What do you call a rabbit who works in IT?
A bit-byte.
52. What does a polar bear use to wear shoes?
Bear feet.
53. Why are pythons hard to trust?
Because they’re always following a constricting agenda.
54. Why was the squirrel’s report card low?
He was too nutty in class.
55. What do zebras sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells.
56. Why do elephants never use daily planners?
They never forget anything.
57. What do you call a bear in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
58. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
Bison.
59. How do ducks fly?
They wing it.
60. Why was the zookeeper nervous?
Because the lion shared its pride.
61. What does a snake order at a café?
A coffee, hisspresso.
62. Why don’t penguins like talking to strangers?
They find it very ice-solated.
63. What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs?
A condescending condor.
64. Why did the deer fail math?
He couldn’t count his bucks.
65. What kind of ant is even bigger than an elephant?
A gi-ant.
66. Why don’t bees shop online?
They prefer to buzz-rowse.
67. How do you throw a party on Jupiter?
You planet.
68. What’s a cheetah’s favorite kind of joke?
Fast ones.
69. What animal can you always find at a baseball game?
A bat.
70. Why did the dolphin avoid puns?
He found them dolphin-itely fishy.
71. How do zoo animals communicate?
On the jungle drums.
72. Why was the giraffe late?
He got caught in a neck of traffic.
73. What’s an elephant’s favorite vegetable?
Trunk-ips.
74. Why did the chameleon avoid social events?
He didn’t want to change.
75. What’s a whale’s favorite song?
Whale of a Time.
76. Why did the llama get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field.
77. What did the sloth say when he was accused of being lazy?
Somebody else will defend me.
78. Why don’t alligators watch TV?
Because they only watch gator-films.
Share these zoo jokes and keep the laughter going
If this wild collection of zoo jokes had you and your friends howling with laughter, don’t cage your amusement! Share these jokes on your social media, bookmark jokeandpun.com, and keep this treasure trove of humor handy for your next gathering. Let’s spread the humor far and wide—after all, the best laughs are the ones we share together!
