Let’s be honest, Big Ben is not just a legendary timekeeper; it’s a true icon of London and British culture. Its grandeur and precision have earned it a special place in history—and, let’s admit, in the humor hall of fame too. I mean, it’s a clock, but it’s also quintessentially British, which somehow makes it even more amusing, right?
Before we get started with some serious (or not-so-serious) giggles, here’s a fun fact: Did you know Big Ben is actually the name of the Great Bell inside the clock tower, not the tower itself? That’s right.
Technically, you’ve been laughing at the wrong thing this whole time, but don’t worry, we’ll make sure that any clock-related confusion gets right on time. So sit back, relax, and enjoy these Big Ben jokes that are as timely as ever (pun intended).
Table of the Funniest Big Ben Jokes
1. Why doesn’t Big Ben ever get lost?
Because he’s always on time!
2. What kind of tea does Big Ben like?
Proper-tea!
3. Why did Big Ben go to therapy?
It had major issues with timing.
4. How does Big Ben tell a joke?
With perfect timing, of course!
5. Why did Big Ben never join the circus?
He didn’t want to be a second-hand act.
6. Why can Big Ben never be late?
Time waits for no clock.
7. What’s Big Ben’s favorite sport?
Clockrobatics—because it’s all about balance.
8. Why did Big Ben break up with his clock girlfriend?
She was too much of a tick-talker.
9. What’s the hardest part about being Big Ben?
Remembering you run London but don’t have any hands to celebrate.
10. Why did Big Ben switch to digital?
He wanted to stay ahead of the times!
11. What did the clock say to Big Ben?
“I’m just here for the ticks and giggles.”
12. Why was Big Ben always grounded?
Someone kept winding him up.
13. What kind of music does Big Ben love?
Anything with a good rhythm!
14. Why can’t you ever play hide-and-seek with Big Ben?
He’s too good at keeping track of time.
15. What does Big Ben do during rush hour?
He relaxes—traffic’s got nothing on him.
16. Why was Big Ben’s calendar always booked?
He never ran out of appointments… hourly.
17. How did Big Ben break up with his partner?
“We don’t clock anymore.”
18. What’s Big Ben’s go-to party trick?
Being the life of the tower.
19. Why do politicians respect Big Ben?
Because he’s completely neutral—always strikes the right balance.
20. Why was Big Ben’s cousin so bitter?
Because he was a sundial—talk about being stuck in the past!
21. What did Big Ben say to his friend when he lost his job?
“Hey, time to face the chime!”
22. Why was Big Ben banned from the restaurant?
Because he’s always alarming people.
23. What’s Big Ben’s least favorite job?
Clocking in and out.
24. What does Big Ben do on vacation?
He just sits back and unwinds.
25. How does Big Ben feel about the internet?
He’s a bit clock-blocked on modern technology.
26. Why is Big Ben great at debates?
He always gets the final chime.
27. Why did Big Ben stop being friends with the smaller clock?
Too many tick-ing disagreements.
28. Who does Big Ben look up to?
His cousin in Philadelphia, who’s also good at cracking Liberty Bell jokes.
29. How do clocks like Big Ben start conversations at parties?
They don’t—they’re just there for tick-tock small talk.
30. Why does Big Ben refuse to wear a wristwatch?
He’s too big for hands-on work.
31. What advice does Big Ben give to new clocks?
“Don’t waste time—it’s precious.”
32. Why was Big Ben never late for work?
He was literally the one ringing the alarm!
33. What’s Big Ben’s idea of a long break?
Twelve chimes at midnight… it’s a classic!
34. Why were tourists so excited about taking pictures of Big Ben?
Because time flies when you’re having fun.
35. What did Big Ben say to the other clocks?
“Catch you at half-past success!”
36. What’s Big Ben’s retirement plan?
Going timeless.
37. What does Big Ben do after a big argument?
He ticks off and moves on.
38. What’s Big Ben’s side hustle?
Charging for photo ops—being photogenic pays well!
39. How does Big Ben wind down after a stressful day?
By taking time for himself… literally!
40. Why does Big Ben dislike daylight saving time?
Because it feels like someone stole his hour.
41. Why did Big Ben start a blog?
To share his timeless wisdom.
42. What’s Big Ben’s favorite Shakespeare play?
Much Ado About Timings.
43. Why does Big Ben never vlog?
Because he’s shy and hands-off.
44. What’s the best gift you can give to Big Ben?
Quality time.
45. What did Big Ben say when the smaller clocks were late?
“Tick-tock, I knew you’d lag behind.”
46. Why was Big Ben so good at poker?
He always had a good hand… metaphorically speaking.
47. Why did it take so long to build Big Ben?
Because great things take… time.
48. How does Big Ben enjoy a good book?
He reads it second by second!
49. Why was Big Ben a fantastic student?
Because he could ace any test on time management.
50. What did Big Ben say during an earthquake?
“I’m shook, but I’ll keep ringing.”
51. Why did Big Ben join a band?
He wanted to show he could keep a beat, not just keep time.
52. How does Big Ben handle awkward moments?
Chimes in at the right second.
53. Why did Big Ben refuse to bow to the Queen?
Because he’s too busy standing tall… 24/7.
54. What did the tourists shout to Big Ben?
“You’ve got a real tower of ringers here!”
55. Why does Big Ben never take vacations?
The time pressures are too high.
56. What scares Big Ben the most?
Rusting away—even clocks have fears.
57. What does Big Ben say when someone calls him outdated?
“It’s about time you checked your facts!”
58. How did Big Ben feel after being refurbished?
Refreshed, with plenty of time on his hands… hypothetically.
59. What’s Big Ben’s favorite part of a movie?
The ticking bomb countdown scene.
60. Why did Big Ben start taking yoga?
To avoid getting wound up!
61. How did Big Ben feel about procrastination?
He was always second-hand to it.
62. What’s Big Ben’s workout regimen?
Clockwise sit-ups.
63. Why was Big Ben always calm during critical meetings?
He had all the time in the world, literally.
64. Why can’t you argue with Big Ben?
Because he’s always right… on time.
65. What did Big Ben say to the bell ringer?
“You really strike a chord with me.”
66. What did Big Ben do after he fell?
Bravely stood up and struck again.
67. Why can’t Big Ben keep a secret?
His chimes give everything away.
68. Why doesn’t Big Ben panic during deadlines?
Because pressure is a part of the job.
69. What’s Big Ben’s advice for success?
“Just keep ticking; the bells will ring soon enough.”
70. Why don’t birds land on Big Ben anymore?
They’re not ready for his time flies jokes.
71. How does Big Ben handle heartbreak?
With chime and agility.
72. Why do mathematicians like Big Ben?
Because he’s great with numbers—especially when they strike.
73. What’s Big Ben’s nickname at home?
Chime-y the giant.
74. Why doesn’t Big Ben make friends easily?
Because he’s too face-forward.
75. What’s Big Ben’s diet?
Time keeps ticking, so he’s always light on meals.
76. How is Big Ben like a detective?
Because he’s always clues-in on the hour.
77. What’s Big Ben’s hobby?
Counting seconds… just for fun!
78. Why did Big Ben go viral?
Because he’s got the timing for it!
79. What’s Big Ben’s meditation mantra?
Tick… tock… tick… zen.
80. What did Big Ben say on New Year’s Eve?
“Time to strike… a new beginning!”
81. Why don’t Big Ben and Buckingham Palace ever argue?
Because they know how to keep it timely and regal!
Keep the laughs rolling with Big Ben!
If these clock-tickling jokes got your gears turning, why not share the joy with friends and family? Our ticklish humor doesn’t have an expiration date, and Big Ben needs a support group that will never let time slip away! Bookmark this page for your next comedy session and remember to share it far and wide; because like Big Ben, you should always strike when the time is right!
