History might have been a subject that some of us dreaded in school, but it doesn’t have to be all wars, dates, and perplexing timelines. When you infuse a bit of humor into history, you get a wildly entertaining mix that keeps everyone engaged and laughing.
Whether you’re a history buff or you’re simply looking for light-hearted entertainment, these history jokes are guaranteed to make you roar with laughter. Here’s a super fun fact to get you started:
Did you know that ancient Romans considered laughing a social obligation during their parties? So, let’s channel our inner Roman and dive into these side-splitting history jokes!
Table of the Funniest History Jokes
1. Why did the scarecrow become a successful medieval knight?
He was outstanding in his field!
2. Why don’t you ever see Ben Franklin in a restaurant?
Because he’s always in a good place for a mint!
3. What did Napoleon become at the end of his career?
Bonaparteed!
4. How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they all debate whether the bulb is actually changing.
5. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus!
6. Why did the Pharaoh go to the dentist?
Because Egypt his tooth.
7. Why was the math book sad during the Revolution?
It had too many problems.
8. What’s Julius Caesar’s favorite type of burger?
A Caesar’s salad!
9. Why was King Arthur’s army too tired to fight?
It had too many sleepless knights.
10. Why didn’t the Roman finish dinner?
He was already full!
11. What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?
Halfway.
12. Why did the knight read the dictionary?
He wanted to learn the lingo!
13. What’s a history teacher’s favorite exercise?
The Russian crunch!
14. How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By Norse code.
15. What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance!
16. Did you hear about the medieval party?
It was a real knight to remember.
17. Why was the ancient philosopher always calm?
Because he had problems A-solved-otle of them.
18. What’s a historian’s favorite food?
Pasta, it’s always re-past-able.
19. How did the ancient Greeks cook hot dogs?
They used Aristotle grill.
20. Why do we call months without history Cereal Months?
Because they’re uneventful!
21. Why did the American Revolution go so well?
Because they refused to be British beefy!
22. How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
23. Why did the knight sit on the round table?
To avoid being cornered!
24. How does an Egyptian start his day?
By making some pyra-bread.
25. What caused the Trojan War?
Some crazy horse play.
26. Why are medieval phone bills so high?
They always have extra charges for call waiting.
27. Why do zombies love history?
Because they love old brains!
28. What’s Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
Ba-na-na-na!
29. Why don’t ancient historians get lost?
They follow the right escritores!
30. What’s the best thing about ancient jokes?
They never age.
31. Why do wars never end?
Because armies are too stubborn to pull the soldier-ers.
32. Why did the historian fail at stand-up comedy?
His timing was all in B.C.
33. How many historians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but they’ll debate about it for centuries.
34. Why did the ruins go to therapy?
They had ancient issues to unpack.
35. What do you use to find history answers?
Historesearch engine.
36. Why did the ancient flees the gym?
They couldn’t handle the pressure of history reps.
37. Why was history so successful?
Because it kept moving forward with solid groups of dates.
38. How do archaeologists flirt?
They say, “You dig?”
39. Why did history teachers break up?
They couldn’t agree on the same timeline.
40. What’s the best way for history buffs to stay cool?
They fan themselves with dates.
41. What did the grape say when it got crushed during the history class?
It let out a bit of wine.
42. Why did the ancient comic get kicked off stage?
His material was too dated.
43. Why was the history book always calm?
Because it had so many re-documentaries of the world.
44. Why did the Roman emperor keep getting lost in his palace?
Because he couldn’t Caesar the maze!
45. What did the caveman say when he invented the wheel?
This is a groundbreaking discovery!
46. Why did the Vikings keep their swords dull?
Because they preferred to settle things peacefully… with their lawyers!
47. Why did Napoleon keep failing to conquer Russia?
Because he couldn’t Moscow the cold!
48. What did the ancient Egyptian pharaoh say when he lost his favorite pyramid?
“Mummy dearest, where could it be?”
49. Why did the medieval knight get fired from his job?
Because he kept falling asleep on the joust!
50. What did the history teacher yell at the student who couldn’t name a single Renaissance artist?
“Michelangelo your grades!”
Burst out laughing with these historical gems!
We hope these history jokes delighted you as much as we loved compiling them! Humor has a unique way of making complex subjects fun and memorable, wouldn’t you agree? If these jokes tickled your funny bone, be sure to share them with your friends and family. Bookmark jokeandpun.com for more sidesplitting humor across various topics.
Spread the laughter, and remember, a good joke is timeless just like history!
